A feeling never changed
by Cryzzel
Summary: Enough was enough for Shu he left Yuki Painfully.They havent seen each other for 5 years.Shu manages a band in u.s,He's content.But what happens when Yuki is getting married?To someone close to shu?And shu has to go back to Japan.[OMG chap 20 Oo]
1. Intro and eh?

story:In the end shuichi got tired of Yuki's crap, and when Yuki brushed him off, Shuichi didn't run after him anymore, rather slammed the door in his face. They havent seen each other for a long time, but what happens when shuichi goes to his best cousins wedding. Guess whose the groom? (romance/angst).

A/n: I soo do not own gravitation, eventhough i wish they did. It such an awesome story :) . This is not my first fic, but my first gravi fic. hope it works out.

Oh by the way…. I edited the first chapter a little XD. Or a lot? Anyways enjoy reading!

**XXX**

_I'm still in love with you, can I be with you again?_

_Theres no other place where i'd rather be,_

Shuichi tapped the table top, he was writing lyrics for a new song he thought of. He sighed, what else could he write in? Then tapping the pen on his head an few sentences popped into his head.

_Tears keep falling, and we keep running,_

_Because of the pain we went through, _

_But no matter what My feelings are left unchanged_

There.Final chorus done. Feelings left unchanged… huh? Another sappy love song from Shuichi Shindou as usual,he thought. He always thought when you write lyrics it comes from the heart. Deep down with passion and will you write it. And the best lyrics are made out of people's experience and relevance. But this one? So far this one was weird, it just popped into his head and he decied to write it. He sighed he hadn't had anyone special for 5 years. 5 good long years. He smiled, at least he was enjoying the single life. His eyes wavered, although he did miss being with someone…. But for sure.. he wouldn't make the same mistake again… the same mistake he made 5 years ago.

Suddenly,

"Shuiiiiichiiiiii!"

The pink haired boy turned just to have someone jump on him causing him to crash on the floor. He saw it was his cousin. his best cousin in America giggling on top of him.

"Ahhhhh! Riku-chan get off me! What did i do to deserve this morning call? I just woke up. In fact i didint sleep at all!" he said rubbing his head which was throbbing. It was true, he had been working all night writing a new song lyric for a famous band in America and working on mixing some sounds for the band working under him.

" You should really chill and cool down Shu-chan! If not you'd go all brittle and die off"she said cheerfully.Shuichi smiled at his silly cousins acts.She had long hair and pink hair and purple eyes.They could be mistaken for twins!They look very alike. And ironically. Act alike.Maybe thats why they're closer than siblings

" Hey when did you come back?" shuichi asked after she got off him helping him up.Hamasaki Riku had gone to Japan to stay with her mother because her father just died, and her mother wanted to be close to her family in Japan.She was there for 2 years and now she landed in his house. " you didint even tell me you were coming"

"sorry Shu-chan but i came here for an errand, and i totally forgot to tell you i came, so now i came! its a surprise. arent you happy to see me?" she asked.

Shuichi smiled, how could he mind? "Of course i'm happy. Its you Riku-chan!" he hugged her, then patted her head. Riku was only 3 years younger than him.Sweet at the age of 21,but both the same-young, beautiful,loud and hyper. Well...at least shuichi WAS loud and hyper. Not anymore though. He hadnt been loud and hyper for the past 5 years.

"come on Riku, lets go to the opposite cafe, have a drink and you can tell me your years in beautiful Japan" Shuichi said taking his coat and opening the door for her.The girl jumped up happily, took her coat as well and went down with him.

They both sat at the cafe table,shuichi spent half an hour smiling and laughing at his cousins time in Japan.

"You had fun then there, eventhough you had a hard time grasping the language?"Shuichi asked.All her life Riku had been living in America and suddenly moving to Japan was a big change for her. But the girl smiled and nodded vigorously. " yeah! Much fun.And the school i was in was fun too!"

Shuichi smiled " cool!"

Then they drank their drinks, its quiet now, but shuichi was sensing something was wrong. Riku was suddenly quiet.Its not normal. He looked at her from across the table.She was biting her lip, something was definitely bothering her.

" Riku. Spill" Shuichi said looking at her.Riku jumped up like she just got pulled out from deep in her thoughts " huh? Shuichi what?"

"something's on your mind. Care to share with dear me?" he asked. Riku suddenly laughed. "Shu chan! i would never keep anything from you!Youre like way cooler than any aniki's i have woo!" she said.

" But what i'm going to tell you might be a shock because it is coming out from me" she said. Shuichi shrugged " i had worst shocks in my life." oh trust me i have.

" Okay... here goes. I... Hamasaki Riku... is getting... married" she said finally. she waited for her cousins reaction.And she was happy with what she got. shuichi grinned and suddenly jumped up embracing her.

" Your sly Riku! You went on and on for an hour about your life in Japan and you didint tell me about the lucky guy who got you!" he ruffled her pink hair messing it up. " your mean! and you made me think it was a bad thing!"

" Yeah i know. I am sooo sorry i didint tell you. But we didnt really have enough contact for the past 2 years i was there.So forgive me aniki" Riku said. Shuichi laughed and hugged her "Its alright. But i'm glad you told me now. I cant wait to meet the guy. He must be handsome " he winked at her.

" Yeah! i cant wait for you both to meet either. It'd be so fun! two of my favourite men meeting!Here shu-chan" she handed him an envelope " its the invitation card for the wedding, which is going to happen in a months time. so you have to find time to come down to Japan"

" For you of course i will!" Shuichi said his purple eyes happily glinting for her. Riku grinned and pinched his cheek " No i mean you have to find time to come down early... very early"

"Huh? why? cant i be there a day or two before the wedding?" shuichi asked. Riku shook her head " nope. You have to be there when the rehearsals and planning are going on.know why?" she asked him.

"no... not really" shuichi quirked his brows.

"Youre going to be the one to walk me to my future husband" she said.

**XXX**

"Eiri I am so glad that you finally decided to settle-,"

"cut to the chase old man" a blonde beauty known as Yuki Eiri snapped at his father who was in his monk clothes…. He was at his fathers house, he still had no idea why on earth was he born into a monk-ish family.

Yuki's father's eyebrow twitched but didn't leap at him. He was overjoyed that his eldest son decided to finally settle down. And with a girl at that.

"Its good that you continue the family line, I am so proud-,"

" yeah yeah, are you done? I'm out of cigarettes, is there any shop nearby?" Yuki cut him, listening to him rambling doesn't profit to his time.

" EIRI!" his father bellowed. Yuki smirked.

" why cant you take the man seriously eiri?" Mika, Yuki's sister asked once Yuki opened the door out of his fathers room. He brushed his hand through his blonde hair.

"When he's six feet under"Yuki said closing the door. Mika sighed and said, " Eiri, Eiri you have never changed have you?."

"Like if my behaviour is any of your business." He said trodding out of the house, Mika following behind him.

He opened the car to his Mercedes when Mika said, "I'm proud that you finally decided to settle down Eiri"

_Why does everyone have to say that! Its getting annoying woman!_

"No no, before you blow up in my face again we are all happy for you. Your 27 already and not in a serious relationship from 5 year---..…." Mika trailed off. Oh boy, she didn't know if she could say anything about what happened 5 years ago.

But Yuki looked blankly at her, his face showing no expression " Look Mika if your done with your crap, i have to pick someone up from the airport" He said going into his car and slamming the door.He started the engine and drove off.

Mika watched him drive off.She sighed " I really am happy for you Eiri." She said then walked back into the house.

**XXX**

"Yuki!"

A familiar voice called out his name,Yuki was in the airport waiting for someone,he turned to see someone slam into him.

" Argh!" a person with pink hair was hugging him. " RIKU! For gods sake get off me!" he said harshly.

The girl looked up at him with her huge purple eyes.He blinked,and wanted to take back his words.Those purple eyes were so pitiful he didn't yell again after. He didn't know why and perhaps he didn't want to but whenever Riku just showed him her eyes which were about to cry he would just stop being a jerk. But those eyes, he swore a million times it was exactly like….

"Sorry Yuki"

" Huh?" he jerked up. " What?"

" I said I'm sorry" she said putting her hands on her hips "Man youre spacing out" she said then she jumped up and hugged him.

" Okay okay fine Riku. Enough" he said. For a moment there, he thought someone else said the 'sorry Yuki", the way she said it was also like….. He shook it off. Like noone. Like no one he bothered to know or remember anymore. But why did he keep on remembering how Riku sounded like? But sometimes she sounded vaguely like….

"Hmp. Yuki I've been gone for a week and your still so distant" she sighed " but oh well! I got you. And I'm happy" she said hugging him.Yuki rolled his eyes "Your making a on lets go."

Once inside the care he asked " How was your trip there?" he asked. " did you get to do everything you wanted?"

" YES!" she said cheerfully. " visited my old friends, told them about the wedding gave invitation cards….." she said counting all her tasks with her fingers. Yuki kept on driving. While she rambled on, Yuki wondered again for the millionth time since the day he asked Riku to marry him.

Yes Ironically Yuki Eiri asked someone to marry him.He didn't like attachments that was so true about him, but one day he just lost it and asked her.

Ass…. I lost it. I just lost it.

But it was too late taking it back now. Besides it is a change for him,Riku had been the longest with him anyways.Wait… no…it was…

" My cousin!" Riku said loudly snapping him back to earth.

" What?" he asked again annoyed.

" I also went there to ask my cousin to be the one to guide me up to the alter" she said grinning non stop. Yuki flinched at the word 'alter' would it be a time would he ever go up there. He didn't know it was now.

" So you asked your cousin?"

" Yeaps! Hes very very very very close to me, we've kept very little contact with each other. And ive only been close to him recently like 5 years ago. Until I left. But we're still close… since my father died I had no one in mind except aniki to escort me" she said sadly. " you don't mind do you?"

Yuki shook his head, then ruffled her hair " No. Besides I don't know the point of all this, so you do it" he said. " You call him aniki.You two must be really close"

" yes. Very" she said grinning. " Me and shu-chan are so alike! Its hard to miss us" she said laughing.

Yuki snapped his head to look at her " what?"

" I said we're alike-," she said repeating her words.

" no no I meant you and who?" he asked still driving, his eyes turning back from the road to Riku's face.

Riku smiled and said" Oh. Me and shu-chan. My cousin whose going to be my escort in the wedding. Shuichi shindo."

**XXX**

A/n: Hmmmm if some of you noticed, i pushed my second chapter to the first one. because i thought the first and second chapters were toooo short. Anyways it makes the story looks longer :D. Plus I had some remarking to do. Ah well

Review if you like it or if you dont or have something to say :D. I like them reviews :D Wheeee.

Btw- just putting it out, this fic might hike up the rating for some scenes I'll warn you then.But for now its still T the rating.

Updated: now its officially M rated haha XD and the first chap I did some editing.


	2. Shining Glow and the card

story:In the end shuichi got tired of Yuki's crap, and when Yuki brushed him off, Shuichi didint run after him anymore, rather slammed the door in his face. They havent seen each other for a long time, but what happens when shuichi goes to his best cousins wedding. Guess whose the groom? (romance/angst).

A/n: I soo do not own gravitation, eventhough i wish they did. It such an awesome story :) .

XXXXX

" One more time guys, this time with a little bang!" a very cute pink haired man said behind the glass counter of the music room.

" Oh come on shuichi! We've been doing the chorus for the last 2 hours! It sounded perfect" a guy holding his guitar whined.He had nice short brown hair and brown eyes.There were another 2 people behind him, looking as restless as him.

Their producer smiled, " Yes I know Akeno, sorry to make you all suffer, but this has gotta sound extra good.Your debut was a smash and do you want to disappoint your fans by putting less efforts in this music?" shuichi tilted his head to the left, " Hmmm?"

The brown hair guitarist known as Akeno Fukushima muttered something that went 'bloody reverse psychology ' and started tuning his guitar for the right sound.

"awe some grumbling Akeno! After we're done we can party!" a pretty black haired girl behind the keyboards said.She grave a grin winking at the grumbling Akeno. "such a grouch! Cant you be as happy and chirpy as shuichi?" she asked laughing as Akeno stuck out his toungue at her.

Shuichi laughed " Ne, Ayumi! I'm not all butter and honey! Or.. sugar and honey.. or something. Theres a saying.. something.." he started thinking, then realsiing it didn't get him anywhere, "alright alright, stop distracting me!now,when your ready guys" he said

_Happy eh? I'm happy and chirpy. That's good.Thats very good…. Is it?_

"You owe me lunch for this Ayumi" Akeno grumbled. Ayumi took her headphones and threw it at him, " You shut up and start playing" she said laughing.

" Yeah before you two do that.." shuichi said pressing the studio microphone, " can one of you please wake Rei up?"

Ayumi and Akeno turned to see their fellow bandmate snoring on his drum chair.

" REI!" Ayumi said loudly taking her headphones and throwing at him hitting him square on the head, Rei suzutoku,the blonde haired drummer jumped up, " yes sir!"

Shuichi laughed, he missed those days when he was a kid, it was so funny. " alright then,1…2…3…" He pressed the music and it started.

Ayumi, Akeno and Rei started playing their music. Shuichi rested his elbows on the mixer and he looked at them from the studio glass.The three of them made a band. Shining Glow. And shuichi was their manager. He found them almost by accident when he stayed in America for the last few years. Being a pro in the music business because of his involvement in a popular band in Japan he decided to manage them.

He didn't think that that a band managed under him, would EVER make it.In fact he thought he himself would never make it until now in America, or in anywhere else since 5 years ago. His eyes dropped to the floor. 5 years ago was his most happiest… yet saddest time of his life. Because of that one change, he changed his whole life and somehow now wasn't regretting his migration to America.

He looked up and saw his band playing with full of energy .Reminded him so much of his ex-band. The band he was in. Bad Luck.He smiled he had super good times then. But that was 5 years ago. Way past him now. Even his attitude changed. Not the so-stupid-shuichi-shindou anymore. He learned from his stupidity and didn't let that get to him anymore.

"hey shuichi" a voice called out for him but he was still in his thoughts, " SHUICHI"

Shuichi jumped up his hand turned and whacked someone on the face.

" Ow!" a girl howled as shuichi's hand made contact with her face.

" AHH! Yumi! Sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry to the highest degree of rates which I cant get forgiven for!" Shuichi said jumping and fretting. Saying sorry for a million times.

" Shuichi Calm down! I'm alright" the beautiful brunette with brown eyes said. She rubbed her face, then laughed when she saw her managers face. "Silly shu" she said " I'm okay don't fret over nothing"

Shuichi then laughed and thought, Well maybe not all of shuichi is gone. The silliness still remains.

" Yeah… but sorry" he said brushing the back of his hair. She smiled " its okay shuichi" she looked at the band play " theyre getting better. I'm sorry to let you stay here and watch over them but I had to run some errands."

" You know its alright, besides I'll help around as much as I can now because tomorrow I'm leaving for Japan." He said sitting down on a nearby chair.

Yumi nodded " How long will you be there?" she asked going over and sitting on the half space on shuichi's chair.Shuichi was thin so she could sit down on the same chair with him.

It was normal for shuichi when Yumi sad down next to him very near, so it didn't bother him, but he liked it. " arouns 2-3 weeks. My crazy cousins wedding. So Can you manage everyone here?" he asked her.

Yumi flashed a grin " what? Me and shining Glow will have a blast!" Yumi was harder than Shuichi.Shuichi isn't as head on as Yumi is, maybe that's why she is his bands producer.

He grinned, " I bet you will". Yumi's face was very near to him now and shuichi didn't move his face from hers. He gulped.

" Will the producer stop flirting with the manager and pay attention to us?" Ayumi's annoying voice came from beyond the see through glass.

Yumi laughed and got up from Shuichi's chair, " Thanks a lot ayumi, you rained on my parade" she smiled at Shuichi. Shuichi's heart beated, it was a nervous beat. He turned to the members of shining Glow and said " Okay thanks for the day. Its great!"

" Yeah If it wouldn't be great you'd ask us to play it over and over again" Akeno said opening the door coming out to the control studio. He sighed and pushed his brown hair back. " So. Shuichi, treating us to dinner?" he grinned. Ayumi and Rei coming up behind him.

Shuichi grinned " I would. Really. But I gotta pack for my trip to Japan tomorrow" he winked " I;m heartbroken I cant pay dinner for you" He said giving Aneko a sad sorry face. Aneko gave Shuichi a 'oh please' look. " yeah shuichi I'm sure your devastated"

"awww, I will miss you shuichi! Weeks without you!" ayumi said hugging him and kissed his cheek.

Shuichi grinned " I know. You cant live without me. None of you can…" suddenly he jumped in front of everyone, " For I am Shuichi Shindou and I am irreplaceable! Hahahah!" he laughed maniacally.

After he was done, he turned and saw everyone went out without him, " HEY! Wait up!" he said running after them.He walked out with them until out of the studio.

"Okay I'll leave here.I'll send an invitation to you guys to come to the wedding because my cousin wants you guys to be there.. to rock the house down…. Yeah right" Shuichi said giving a fake cough. The three bandmates threw coke cans at him. " Now while I am gone,You all behave" Shuichi said.

Rei rolled his eyes " Youre talking like your 60"

" Yeah. Heck shuichi. Your 25 but you look bloody 19! I envy you!" Aneko said.

" Aneko what hell are you saying your 18! Your not old" Ayumi said. All of them in the band were 18. " Your making me sound old you twerp!" she said. Then Aneko muttered,'but you are'.

WHACK.

" Say that one more time Aneko and your handsome face will be discarded for life!" Ayumi said running after Aneko. Shuichi laughed, ahh being young, he thought.

" Are you sure you can handle them?" he asked Yumi who just laughed, " I hope so."

They said their good byes to the three bandmates and left.

" So I'll help you pack and help you sort off stuff before you leave shuichi?" Yumi asked looking at him once the band of shining glow left. Shuichi smiled "yeah Yumi I'd like that" he said.

They both went to Shuichi's apartment nearby.They walked into the lift.

Shuichi always took Yumi as his producer and bestfriend, then again he never had a relationship with anyone since 5 years ago, he didn't want to make the same mistake again. Because that one mistake was one that nearly destroyed his life. Thank god he wouldn't have to go through that again. He spent nearly 5 whole years trying to get over it.

They were inside Shuichi's house and Yumi was helping him do the song sheets he was writing for Shining Glow while shuichi packed.

"Hey shuichi" Yumi called from the living room shuffling through some papers, " I looked for your songs for shining glow and I found some loose papers. I read them and they're really good! Why don't you publish these songs?" she askes walking into his room where he was packing.

Shuichi looked up and saw astack of papers with his handwriting on it.

_My old song lyrics….._

" Nah its not good" he said going back to his packing. Yumi walked nearer to his bed and looked through the papers , " well I personally think its good. The lyrics are so deep! Deeper than what you write now. Shuichi this is good!" she said

"not that good" he continued saying.

" Love the way you love me sounds nice" Yumi said.

Shuichi breathed in.

_Lyrics I wrote when I was with him._

" Narrow distance" yumi continued on reading the titles of the song.

_When I was slowly slipping away from him._

"Sharded dreams…. Woah deep!" she said telling him the title at the same time reading the lyrics.

_When I lost him._

"Pieces shattered" she said blinking.

_When I lost myself._

Shuichi felt like he wanted to cry, he remembered in what reason and feeling he felt while writing those. He clutched the shirt he was folding. No way No.

_I Spent nearly 5 years trying to get over this crap. Its finally over.Its over. Its over.Its over! So piss up Shuichi. _

" Shuichi! This are all awesome!" Yumi said. Shuichi sighed walked to her and took the papers from her hand.

" I don't think so. So I don't want to give it to anyone." He said.

" But shuichi-,"

" Drop it Yumi" he said very irritated now. Yumi shut her mouth. He went back to packing. Then after a few moments Shuichi turned to Yumi, she was still standing there.

"Sorry Yumi" Shuichi said. Yumi smiled when he said that and she perked up, " no shuichi its me. My fault. I'm supposed to be sorry. Can I help you pack?" she asked him.

Shuichi perked up as well, " Sure, can you go over to my dressing table and take my recorders and there is a plane ticket on the table" he said turning back to pack.

Yumi went over to the dressing table. She took the papers and recorder and went to sit on his bed, she took his hand carry bag and put his recorder and plane ticket in his bag. Then an envelope slipped through the ticket.

" Hey shuichi. Is this the wedding invitation?" yumi asked taking the envelope.

" Oh yeah! It is. I didn't have time to open and read it. You can open and read it for me" Shuichi said looking at the pink envalope.Then continued packing.

Yumi nodded an opened the envalope.She took out a white and golden coloured card. Around it was golden emboss.It was beautiful.The front was written 'Invitation to a special day'.

Then she opened the card and read out loud, " We would like to request the honour of your presence Shuichi Shindou on Saturday the 28th of October two thousand and six at two o clock in the afternoon at Central Japan Church to celebrate the marriage of Hamasaki Riku to-,"

" Shuichi! Shuuuiiichiii!"

Shuichi and Yumi looked up to see who was calling shuichi's name in Shuichi's house.

BARGE,BARGE, BANG BANG, BUMP.

Shuichi and yumi looked at each other.

"Ow."

They both could hear someone tripping over stuff and banging into stuff.

"Seiji" they both said at once. At that moment a man with Japanese features,black hair and black eyes walked through Shuichi's room door.

" There you are" the handsome man said. Shuichi grinned and waved " Nice of you to drop by Seiji"

" I know your going tomorrow. But it'd be awful not to have dinner before you leave right?" Seiji said smiling. Shuichi looked at him. " well I don't mind Seiji. You shouldn't have come just because you wanted to have dinner with me."

" Well. Fine. Then as President of Star records, I order you my lower people to come out with me for dinner.Plus we need to discuss how you're still going to manage them from Japan." He said. Then he spotted Yumi there too. " You can come too Yumi. Since you crashed here anyway.My treat.Sushi" He said blaming her for being around.

"Hah. Thanks for inviting me" she said rolling her eyes. Seiji Matsutoku did the same back to her.

They both turned back to shuichi only to find him drooling with his big purple eyes wide and huge and sparkly.

"WAAAAAAA. Sushi! Your treat!" He dashed out before them.Seiji followed him out.

Yumi laughed,she looked at the card and read the last name " to Uesugi Eiri…. Sounds familiar" she said, then shrugging she put the card back into the envelope and shoved it deep in Shuichi's backpack.

XXXXXXX

A/N: Crap crap crap. Sorry this Chapter is soooo long. Honestly I just wanted to introduce to you the members of shining glow, yumi and Seiji they'll be playing important parts in the upcoming chapters, I was writing until it was really long. I don't usually like long chaps but my writing didn't stop. Gomen gomen gomen!

I was supposed to writing a different ending for chap 3. But I think that original ending has to be pushed to chapter 4. Sorry sorry for it to be soooo long .

And sorry for no Yuki/shu parts yet. It'll come. Patience patience. Heheh. I like reviews so if you want me to continue the story please review. Reviews are nice :D.


	3. Meeting you again

story:In the end shuichi got tired of Yuki's crap, and when Yuki brushed him off, Shuichi didint run after him anymore, rather slammed the door in his face. They havent seen each other for a long time, but what happens when shuichi goes to his best cousins wedding. Guess whose the groom? (romance/angst).

A/n: I soo do not own gravitation, eventhough i wish they did. It such an awesome story :) .

XXX

"shit shit", shuichi kept on saying as he rummaged through his office in Star records for all the papers he just got and had to sign. He took out a stack of papers and started signing it.Then he saw a list of schedules for Shining Glows requested appreances.He sighed, he didn't have time to sit down. He had just been called by Seiji telling him that he had some papers to sign.

" Its okay shuichi I just told you about it to alert you about the schedules and confirmation signing but you don't have to come stupid," the president of Star records said that morning when he saw Shuichi coming into the building with his luggage.

" No no. its okay no point in keeping it and dragging it right? Besides I don't know how long I will be gone. I cant leave Shining Glow to have no gigs right?" He said to Seiji brushing past him to his office.

He looked through the request and started ticking the ones which Shining Glow should go to, to promote themselves.He took out a list of papers containing the numbers for the places he ticked. He had to call them and confirm with them before theyre place is taken by some other band. He didn't want to screw up anything as Shining Glow IS famous but they're still up and coming.

He was in the place rampaging through all the papers for an hour, he looked at his watch another hour for his departure. He can still make it. Right?

" SHUICHI! What the hell are you doing here," Ayumi said her hands on her hips, her brown hair in two ponytails today. Shuichi turned to see her and the other 2 band members of SG (shining glow) come in.

" Yeah man. Aren't you supposed to be at the airport?" Akeno asked yawning. He looked like he just woke up.

" Kinda. But I had to finish some stuff up for you guys." He said.He went back to shuffling through the papers and writing stuff down. " OH yeah" he said looking up, " Before I forget, try and make do of this song I wrote. It's the one I just finished recently." He opened his bag and took out a few papers giving it to Akeno. " Ayumi you do the synthesizing. I put some of my ideas in the mix.You can do what you want with it. Akeno and Rei as usual beat it up. If theres anything you don't like tell me" he said.

" What? Shuichi we love your lyrics you write for us. One of our main success if you! And you do most of the work." Ayumi said smiling.

" Heh. Thanks I'm not all that important" he said.

" Yes you are. Now shut up and get to the airport" Akeno said.Ayumi nodded and grabbed shuichi out of the office.

" nonono I have some more things to do" He said as he got dragged out by the shorter girl.Ayumi Ignored him. " Nope nope Shuichi you have to go. And whats wrong with you? Did you sleep yesterday?" she asked him looking at his face.

Shuichi sighed and rubbed his eyes with his free hand , " not really I had to finish your lyrics and Centerside bought some of my lyrics I wrote, so I had to give it to them early this morning before I went. I had to pack some stuff and buy some stuff from here to bring back home. So I only got 2 hours of sleep?"

" That's damn sumb shuichi" Rei said shaking his head " sleep is sacred" he said as he always seem to sleep when he had free time.

" But-," Shuichi started.

" No Buts idiot" Akeno said pushing him, " Its half an hour before your departure. No point taking a taxi we'll send you" he said.

XXX

Yuki was staring at his computer screen waiting for a good idea to pop out for him to write in a story.The screen was half typed out with words.But it stopped at one point.And he was annoyed why. He HATED it when he couldn't get an idea for some unknown reason. Was it too muc smoking? Until it mushed his brain? He didn't know. But he was annoyed. He tapped his slender fingers on the keyboard.

He nearly got something until his phone rang.

RING RING.

"shit" He muttered,he wanted to ignore it and wanted his idea back but it was gone. He cursed again and picked up the phone. " Hello?", he said rudely.

" Yuki?", his fiance's voice was heard on the other end. Yuki took off his glasses which he was wearing on the table.

" Riku. What. I'm busy writing." He said before she asked him whether he was free. He could hear Riku say 'oh' on the other end.

" Well sorry to disturb you Yuki." She said apologetically.

"Whats wrong?" he asked, rubbing his head,she might as well tell him why she called. He wondered whether she forgot what happened that day.

He could hear Riku shuffle the phone and giggle the other end with some else. " Great news Yuki," she said sounding excited. " I just got a call from my cousin today"

_Cousin….._

" And guess what!" she said. Asking him to guess. He got annoyed.

" Cant guess. Riku. The point?" he asked as politely as he could. He needed a can of beer. The surprise last week was enough.

" Shuichi is coming to Japan today! We HAVE to pick him up!" he heard Riku's excited voice.

Okay make that two cans of beer.

XXX

Shuichi practically got dragged to the airport.

" You be a good boy shuichi" Rei said patting his managers pink head.

" Remember to eat and take care of your health you look horrible.. get yourself a girlfriend." Akeno said pointing to his face.

" Lots of love shuichi we miss you already!", Ayumi said bobbing up and down.

Shuichi looked at them and laughed,they acted more of his guardians than his toy of managing. They grew very close over the years that's for sure. He smiled at them and prepared to go when he heard his name again.

" SHUICHI!"

He turned and saw Yumi running towards him.

" Yumi?"

She ran and looked like she couldn't break. Shuichi looked around. Shes going to bang into him.

BANG.

She did. But it wasn't a hrd bang rather a hard hug.

" I heard from Seiji you came to the office early today. Are you stupid!" she asked him. "Isnt enough you didn't get enough of sleep. You came to the office. And now your going to have a 22 hour flight! Did you eat? Hey are you listening? Shuichi!" she asked whacking his hand because he was laughing.

" No no. I cant believe you all. Practically all of you came to see me off and complain. The only one missing is Seiji" shuichi said laughing.

" SHUICHI!" They all could hear Seiji's voice from the back.

" You talk to soon." Akeno grumbled.

" Hey I couldn't miss out the farewell party could i?" He asked bringing farewell flags for everyone for shuichi.

" Are you sure you are 38?" Akeno asked Seiji. Who hit him after giving him the flag.

Shuichi this time couldn't stop laughing. He knew how much he was loved here. He wouldn't want to leave them soon.

"Chill. I'll be back soon. Besides all of you are going to the wedding when I give you the invitations" he said. " Now ive gotta go theyre calling my name for the flight already! Bye guys!" Shuichi said walking into the departure hall.

All of them waved.

" I think he's going to come back married." Akeno said at last to break the silence.

XXX

" Oh my goodness! Yuki! Finally you're going to See Shuichi!" Riku said excitedly. She eagerly went to Yuki's house to jump around and wanted him to follow her pick Shuichi up.

" I told you why don't you pick him up yourself," Yuki told her when she appeared in his house a few hours ago.

" nonono. You have to follow. I want you to see him! Hes so cute," she said giggling.

Yuki wanted to bang his head against the wall. He just wished to goodness it wasn't the Shuichi he knows. But there was no mistaking it. The Shuichi Shindou and the looks Riku has gave away it IS the Shuichi he knew so well a long time ago.

But what the hell? That was ages ago,he wont let that get to him.

But he remembered last week when Riku said the person escorting her in the wedding is Shuichi. Shuichi Shindou.

…..

_SCREEECHHHHH_

" YUKI!" Riku screamed as the car came to halt, in the middle of the empty road. Lucky it was empty. " Yuki! Are you alright? Whats wrong?" she asked when Yuki suddenly pressed hard on the break.

He was looking at the steering wheel for a very long time trying to absorb in what she said.

_Shuichi? Shuichi Shindou. Familiar. Damn familiar. Shuichi Shindou? That boy? 5 years ago? The singer from bad luck? Loud? Chirpy? The brat? THAT shuichi? The one that left without a trace…..?_

It took him a while to compose himself, then he turned to Riku who looked at him worriedly with her big purple eyes. Ahh but how could he be so dumb? She had features… she had the features of him. Pink hard. Big purple golden orbs for eyes. How could he miss that?

" No sorry Riku I should be asking you whether you're okay. I thought I saw something and had to stop" He said, he couldn't think of any other better excuse. But Riku just kissed his lips and told him it was okay. She had no clue he stopped because of the shock.

…..

" Yuki? YUKI!" Riku's voice echoed through him. He turned and looked at her.

" Why is it nowadays you seem to space off more?" she asked looking at his face to find any trace of weirdness in it. But Yuki kept a blank face. " ahhh" she said. " I know…"

" What? You know what?" he asked now keeping his eyes on the road. He didn't want to suddenly stop again.

" Its because of the wedding isn't it? Your thinking about it." She said.

" huh? Wedding? Oh yeah. Yeah" he said.

_Yeah the wedding…. I'm getting married. And again. What the hell Yuki?_

He looked at Riku. But Riku was a perfect person to marry. It was his time anyways. Time for him to get on with life. And forget IT, since he forgot about Him anyways.

XXX

_Ahhhh Japan…._

Shuichi walked out at the arrival hall. He looked up at the Japanese signboards, he grinned, he could still read it, but then again his Japanese in school wasn't so good. He laughed, the times he had in school, he wondered if he could go visit it when he was here.He walked down the hall to take his bags. While walking he felt dizzy.

"Crap" he said when his stomach rumbled, " I didn't eat since yesterday," he said, remembering the time difference here and America. Even in the plane he was busy listening to some records on his player,writing lyrics and approving stuff for Shining Glow for star Records,he didn't bother eating and he didn't get sleep either. " I can get something later," He muttered.But he felt he didn't feel well. He didn't sleep nor ate just now.

He took his stuff and walked out to the arrival centre.He looked around. There was so many people around, it was making him feel even more dizzy. He felt sick now. He walked out following the crowd.

" Where is he? Where's Shuichi?" Riku kept on asking. Looking around the airport. Yuki didin say anything. He just stood next to Riku, he didn't want to say or do anything until he saw Shuichi. He again wished it wouldn't be the Shuichi he knew eventhough he knew it cant be possible it couldn't be him.

He wanted to kill himself because he hadn't seen Shuichi for 5 long years, but he felt nervous.

_What the hell…_

" THERE! THERE HE IS!" Riku shouted making everyone around her look at her. Usually Yuki would close his ears when she screamed like that but he was too occupied looking at someone at the far end.

A tall slender Boy holding his bag and looking at a signboard, his hair was silky and dark pink, nearly brown, but still pink.He had very nice shaped nose. He was wearing a long grey trenchcoat which made him look taller and without knowing it, made him stand out. Yuki didn't know how. But it just made him stand out. Without Riku announcing to the whole world he was there, Yuki noticed him.

"SHUICHI!" Riku screamed, grabbing shuichi's attention away from the signboard he was looking at.Shuichi turned and his big purple eyes twinkeled.

" RIKU!" He shouted back as excitedly as her and skipped to her.

Yuki stared at him.He felt himself stop breathing for a while.Shuichi was much taller and surprisingly not thin, but more slender. His hair was cut more to his style,still full and pink. But his eyes… his eyes, Yuki saw, was still big and sparkling purple. Still the big purple orbs he remembered.

_Shit._

" Oh my goodness! Im so happy you came! Shuichiiii" Riku screamed hugging him. Shuichi laughed and hugged her back.He was happy to see his favourite cousin there. But he felt like someone was watching him. He felt…. Something.Over Riku's head, as she was shorter than him, he saw….

" yuki…." He whispered. He felt his heart stop.He saw the Blonde man stare back at him.His sharp brown eyes focusing on him. And him alone. Shuichi's head started spinning again.

_Wha…..wha….?_

" Yuki?" Riku let fo off shuichi and saw him staring at Yuki. " AH YES! Right on Shu chan! That's Yuki! Eh…? How did you know his name is Yuki? The card wrote Usuegi Eiri." She asked confused.

Shuichi looked back at Riku, he couldn't look at the blonde man anymore, he might be dreaming. " Huh? No I mean snow." He said, trying to cover up the situation badly. VERY badly. Riku has got to be kidding. He pointed to a billboard behind her, " see snow. I miss snow" Shuichi said. He couldn't find any other way to cover up what he just said.

" OH yeah Yuki is snow! Snow is yuki! But did you know Shuichi that my fiance's pen name is Yuki? Oh my goodness! Ironic!" she said laughing. Shuichi nodded avoiding the blonde mans gaze. This cant be true.

" Fiancee?" shuichi looked at Riku. " Huh?"

" GAH! Mind my manners. Yuki. Come here" she called to Yuki who was standing a distance from them. " Yuki this is Shuichi Shindou. My beloved cousin.Shuichi. this is Yuki Eiri. My beloved fiancée!"

Shuichi's heart clenched. Clenched to the highest degree. He felt like he couldn't breathe. Wasn't it enough he didn't eat, didn't sleep. He was sick and dizzy, this had to be poured on him. He couldn't say anything, and he couldn't look up. He just couldn't. Okay this was a dream right? Right?

His head spinned around worse now. He felt nauseous and more sick than ever.

" Hello Shuichi." A low deep voice said. " Nice to meet you." Yuki extended out his hand to him.

Shuichi finally looked up. He held his stomach, he hoped noone noticed how sick he was.

"Umm." He looked at Yuki's hand, " Hi… nice to….meet you…"

Was the last thing he said before blackness engulfed him and he fell into heap on the floor.

XXX

A/n: Ah crud. Finally. Took 3 chapters to get them to meet. Ha ha XD anyways, now they meet. And again another long chapter. Grrr. Anyways. It seems like everyday theres one chapter XD. I think the next one might be very soon. Or Very late. Ha ha.


	4. Flash back n' brewing trouble

story:In the end shuichi got tired of Yuki's crap, and when Yuki brushed him off, Shuichi didint run after him anymore, rather slammed the door in his face. They havent seen each other for a long time, but what happens when shuichi goes to his best cousins wedding. Guess whose the groom? (romance/angst).

A/n: I soo do not own gravitation, eventhough i wish they did. It such an awesome story :) .

XXX

5 Years ago.

Shuichi was sitting down on the window sill watching the heavy rain pour down. Yuki wasn't home yet. He went out to meet his editor. Cant blame him it was raining heavily. Shuichi sighed. He had cooked dinner that day. It was already getting cold.

Cold. Yeah like Yuki.Shuichi didn't understand.

It was already after all the crap they went through. Aizawa… Yuki's sister,Yuki's past, the media… everything. But Yuki was still the same old mean him. Probably worse. But Shuichi didn't mind. He loved yuki so much to look past whatever he's done to him. But why wasn't Yuki being more gentle towards him? Even in bed. He was gentle. Sometimes… JUST sometimes.

It seemed like Yuki still had a lot on his mind. It was weird. Shuichi thought every barrier is past them. And when they had so many problems, he didn't blame Yuki because well, they were PROBLEMS. But now? Now whats the problem? After Yuki Kitazawa? After Yuki's past what was the problem now?

It seemed like it was only a while Yuki was the sweetest guy on earth. Now he's just the crappiest person on earth.

" But I love him.So I don't care", Shuichi said to the empty room.

Everyday when Yuki comes back. Its late.But Shuichi waits up for him. But they don't talk. Yuki just grabs Shuichi and they will have sex the whole night. Then the next day, if Shuichi's lucky Yuki might just be at home. But working. And he doesn't like to be disturbed. Sure he was a famous writer. But still give a little care, Shuichi always thought.

And Yuki was still plain mean. He'd put Shuichi down even more. And when Shuichi cried, Yuki would just stare at him, he was already used to it but he'll always say, " Stop being such a sissy brat." He says and walks away.

Sometimes, Shuichi thought, his tears meant nothing to Yuki. True he always cried a lot. Everyday to be exact, but didn't his tears matter? Didn't he matter as a person?

But he always let it go. He cant leave Yuki. He loves Yuki. So it went ont for weeks. Nothing changed. What the hell was wrong with Yuki? Shuichi thought. But he always stood by his side, day and night. He wondered what the future would be for him and Yuki… Yuki wasn't the type of person to think about the future especially with a man.

A man… probably Yuki was still awkward on the fact that he is living with a man…. Maybe? There were so many possibilities. It hurt thinking. Some of them were just heartbreaking.

And the truth was. Yuki never once… never once said he loved him. He always made Shuichi say it. And Shuichi says it with truth and care but Yuki… Yuki no. He never says a word on it. And it hurts knowing the person you love doesn't feel the same way. Yes Yuki liked him but love?

Did he know what love meant? Love didn't mean making a person cry, love meant talking to the person, Caring, giving, understanding. Yuki didn't have all those.

" Doesn't matter. I still love him" Shuichi always said. But… he always thought about it. Everyday he always thought about the future.. about the unfairness in the relationship.

Shuichi thought sadly,

_Yuki's being unfair… He steps all over my heart._

_Sometimes when he comes back he looks at me with those eyes. I don't understand what it meant, but in my own interpretation it was a look of disturbance. Like I'm such a bother to him when I be around him.His eyes doesn't show a twinkle of love. Did he lie when he said he wanted to be with me? No love. Whats the point of hanging around. Is this still a one sided love Yuki? Will it always be a one sided love?_

Then, the one day that changed everything.

It was raining heavily. It had been raining heavily lately. Yuki came back early.And it seemed that he didint look all happy. At all.

" Hey Yuki! Your home early! I didn't now you'll be back soon. You didn't call… if you called I could've prepared-.,"

" Shut up," Yuki snapped. Shuichi stopped bobbing with his apron. " Doesn't matter is I call you or not."

" huh? I mean if you called me I could've prepared dinner or something….," shuichi started.

" My choice whether I want to call you or not. Besides its not like I ask you to cook everyday. Your just wasting food. When I come back I don't eat it. I straight go to sleep. Just cook for yourself and that's it." He said harshly walking into the house throwing his jacket on the chair.

Shuichi stared at him on the spot. It was like this. Never a nice thing to say.What happened Yuki? Whats wrong? Why do you make me soo unhappy? Why?

"I cooked it just in case. Besides Yuki now you come back late. And I don't know why-," shuichi said, but once again got cut off by Yuki.

" Do I have to explain myself to you," Yuki asked his brown eyes glaring at Yuki's purple big eyes.

" No… no.. ," Shuichi stuttered, then thinking again, " YES. Yes you have to explain yourself to me. Yuki what the hell? We're living together, we have to tell each other stuff. Your not doing it!" he said frustrated. Shuichi just came back from recording as well and the pressure was hitting on him because they were one of the top bands in Japan and up and coming in the world. But Still, it was more hard work than ever. But he never showed it to Yuki, besides Yuki never bothered to ask.

" I didn't ask you to live with me did i? You just followed me around. And I let you,because you were just like a stupid lost dog. And you were willing to get screwd by me. So I thought why not?." Yuki said harshly.

Shuichi blinked at him.He didn't wan to understand what he meant.

" that was mean Yuki…..," shuichi said softly. It hurt.

" Not my problem. You're the one prying into my life. Now you want to control my life by wanting me home early? By wanting me to call you? By wanting me to talk to you? Idiot listen I don't do that. Not then. Not now. Not ever. Besides do you honestly think we have a future together?" he asked shuichi.

It was like shuichi glass of happiness broke in the middle. It didn't crumble yet.

" But… but I love you Yuki…" he whispered, he didn't know that his tears was falling like a waterfall. What Yuki said hurt. It hurt so much.

Then all of what Shuichi thought for the last few weeks came hitting him like a rock. What he thought at first but refused to accept it because he loved Yuki came to sense. What Yuki said was true.

No way No how had they had a future.Especially if it was a one sided love. Affection thre is affection between them, and the sex was good. But… The love? It not there. Shuichi never felt it. So whats the point?

" Heh…." Shuichi finally said,He was still hanging on... Yuki took out a beer from the fridge.

" What? Nothing to say? Then don't ask me stupid things like why I didn't call or this or that. I have my own life. You don't dominate it.Nor do you own it. Nor do you own me." Yuki said.

That was the last straw.

"Shut up Yuki" he said dangerously.

Yuki looked up after drinking his beer.He looked at Shuichi they boy didn't look happy.

" Finally have a brain to fend for yourself? No more why Yukiii? Why you're so mean Yukiii, Yuki, yuki, yukii… Annoying brat-,"

PUNCH.

Yuki's heard turned, his face was full with pain. He looked up to see the usually pink haired sweet boy enraged.

" Shut up shut up shut up! Do you enjoy tormenting me Yuki? What did I do to deserve such treatment!" His tears started flowing madly. " I did all I can for you to accept me. I nearly died just to be with you! I thought it was over, I thought the nightmares were over but its NOT. Plain to say. YOU'RE the nightmare. Nothing else is! You hurt me, I let you hurt me, cause I love you. But Ive got my own limits Yuki. I'm human too. Did you think about that? Huh?" he clenched his fist. Yuki was too surprise Shuichi punched him. The Shuichi grabbed Yuki's shirt and kissed him hard.Yuki could taste the salty tears of the youger boy.Shuichi's toungue probbed into Yuki's mouth and they shared a long hard passionate kiss.Then Shuichi pushed him away.

"You think by pushing me around I would succumb to everything you say. No more Yuki. No more. You treat me like rubbish when I love you so much. What did I do? Besides make you happy? Why hurt me?I'm tired...so tired..." he was so tired now, he was too tired. He staggered back and his back hit the wall, " Yuki…. Was there any time in your life meeting me… was there any time… that you loved me?"

Yuki was still standing his hand now away from his bleeding nose, he looked at Shuichi with his brown blank eyes.

When Yuki didn't answer, Shuichi smiled.

"Thought so. Should've left when I was still sane…. " he looked at the floor, his tears still flowing,his shirt was wet. " I'm sorry if you felt suffocated by me. I'm sorry if I was a bad partner, I'm sorry. Most of all I'm sorry I fell in love with you." He said opening the door.Before he closed it, " I really love you Yuki. I just don't understand why cant you love me."

And the door closed.

And that was the last time Yuki ever saw the pink bundle of joy. The last time he'd hear his voice.The last time he's feel his lips on his.

But for the first time that year was the first time…. Yuki Eiri cried.

XXX

Now.

" Yuki! Whats wrong with him! Damn it Yuki! Send him to a hospital!" Riku kept on hitting his shoulder, her cousin just fainted in front of him. And she panicked like crazy.

Just a few minutues before Shuichi clutched his stomach and fainted. Yuki didn't have time to catch him so he hit his head on the cold pavement.

" Riku shut up and calm down!" he felt his pulse. It was ok. He looked at Shuichi's face… it was still beautiful… But he looked pale. He carried shuichi, " take his bags" He ordered Riku who obidently took it.

He carried the light boy to the car. While walking he looked at Shuichi again. He never changed… probably looked more mature and taller and much more slender. But he was still the same old Shuichi.

Why did he faint? He opened the car door and lay him down on the back seat. Yuki Stared at him once again. His body was beautiful.Yuki turned away so that he wouldn't think of anything else. It was stupid. He was getting married and this guy was just an old friend. Why did he faint though? Shock? Cant be he got the invitation card….

A few moments later Riku came with the bags " Man what did Shu chan bring from u.s?" she grumbled putting the stuff in the boot.

Yuki didn't say anything and got into the car. " We'll bring him to my house?" he asked Riku.

" Hospital!" she said loudly. Yuki looked at her " he's not dying." He said driving away from the airport.

" but but but-,"

" Stop stuttering I think its jet lag or something." He said and they drove in silence. Riku kept on looking back to see if her Cousin was alright or not.

Once home, Yuki carried Shuichi into his house and placed him on his bed. Riku took the bags and put it in his house.

Once Yuki placed Shuichi on his bed, he had a flash. He and Shuichi used to share this bed. This particular bed. He gritted his teeth and quickly went out of the room. The image of Shuichi on his bed right now…

_Yuki what the hell is wrong with you!_

" Is he going to be alright?" Riku asked, but before waiting for his answer she went into the room where Shuichi was in.

Yuki rather not go into the room where his ex-lover was sleeping in…. correcting. Friend. They weren't lovers.

_So what did you call the living and sleeping together?_

Yuki went into the kitchen and opened a can of beer. What happened between was long gone. 5 years is a long time to think back. Besides whats the use? He certainly didn't want to remember what happened then. It didn't bring any good to him.

" He's sleeping. Breathing well. But not awake yet" Riku said walking out of the room. She looked as if someone had died.

" Chill. He'll live", Yuki said taking another gulp from his can.Riku clasped her hands together.

"he shocked me when he fell like that.Usually he's such a chirpy thing. I hope he's okay." The pink haired girl say. From this angle, she really looked like shuichi when she's sad. He shook his head.

" I already told you. He's alright. Why don't you go back and rest? I'll call you when he's awake." Yuki suggested.

_Okay where the shit did that come out from? Leave me? With him!_

Riku thought about it, then nodded, " Yeah I should, I don't want to worry about Shu-chan much. He wouldn't like it." She went to Yuki and kissed him fully on the lips.

And he kissed back. She smiled. "Call me when Shu-chan is awake. See you" she said and left.

Yuki sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. Riku is soo close to Shuichi. He just wondered why he never knew they were related.

_Because you choose to ignore the fact that Shuichi existed._

True, after Shuichi left, Yuki tried his best to forget him, but he always thought the boy would barge into the house and make noise…. But no. No more. After he left. Shuichi really left. He left the band. He left Japan.

He loved Yuki that much to leave everything important behind. Or was it that he didint love Yuki enough to leave him?He then threw the beer can in the dustbin from his chair. Then he noticed. Why were shuichi's bag there? In his house?

Just then his phone rang.

" Hello?" Yuki answered.

" Yuki!" Riku's voice echoed through. " I forgot to ask you can Shuichi live with you? Because you are alone. And its convenient for shu-chan if he wants to go out and explore you are in central Japan." She said.

What?

What?

" WHAT?" Yuki's voice was raised high now.

_No no. no way could Shuichi stay in the same house with me._

" What? Is it inconvenient for you Yuki?" Riku asked.

What was Yuki to say? He clutched the phone handle tightly.

"Its ok. For how long?" he asked.

" Until the wedding I guess. Besides I want you two to bond! My two favourite men in the world! What more could I ask for? Okay see you later love bye!" she said and hung up.

Yuki looked at the phone. What more could you ask for?

Trouble.

XXX

A/N : okay this was one fast fic,gah. I had to do this before my exam started XD then I'd be giving late continuations. probably, or not XD.Ke k eke ke… like the flashback? Honestly theres a reason to why Yuki was so crappy. But you have to find out at the end of the fic. I don't like long chapters. But I seem to be doing it much now….. he he he. Please do review if not I wont continue.I needpushing to finish this. XDBut I seem to like writing this fic. So I think I might just continue :D thank you to those who reviewed till now :D. Muax Muax


	5. 3 and 5 years ago

story:In the end shuichi got tired of Yuki's crap, and when Yuki brushed him off, Shuichi didn't run after him anymore, rather slammed the door in his face. They havent seen each other for a long time, but what happens when shuichi goes to his best cousins wedding. Guess whose the groom? (romance/angst). 

A/n: I soo do not own gravitation, eventhough i wish they did. It such an awesome story :) . This is not my first fic, but my first gravi fic. hope it works out

XXX

" Why are you always so closed up Shui?" Yumi asked in his house 1 year back when they became more close with each other. She was walking touching the keyboard he had in his sound room at his aprtment.

He shrugged " I dont know what you mean," The pink haired man said.He didint know what she meant by that, he was a fun guy, not closed up at all.

" No i mean. I've known you for 3 years now.But you havent had a relationship. No dates. No girlfriends," she quirked her brow " why is that?" she asked him.

Ohhhh, Shuichi thought a sensitive question there Yumi...He didint answer he just shrugged.

" Shuichi? I think its because your working too hard. most of the time if you dont manage shining Glow your off writing lyrics for other people. if not that you'll be doing some other work that really clashes with your life. You only go out when someone calls you out. You dont date your single." Yumi continued on. Shuichi Sighed he really didint like conversations regarding why he lives his life like this.

_Whoa. Yumi was right i am cooped up. But with reason..._

" I just dont have interest. Or rather noone has caught my attention just yet. Sooooo... no point in me going out with someone i dont like right?" Shuichi reponded.

_Exactly the point. Why go out with someone if i dont like that someone?_

" But for 3 years Shui? I doubt. plus your very handsome." She giggled. Shuichi looked at her. He seemed to have the vibe that Yumi seriously liked him. but he didint really pay much attention to her hints. " In my opinion you did have someone special just that it didint work out. thats why your on a relationship strike with everyone else."

" What!" he whipped his head to look at the pretty brown haired girl.

Bulls eye.

"Looks like i'm right. Wow who was it that scarred you Shui?" she asked. She was half teasing And half serious but the clueless girl didn't know it was a sensitive question for hjim.

Shuichi clenched his fists. How could she ask that? He tried his best to just bury himself in work or do something just to ignore his private life. Who cares if he was single forever, He didint care.Love doesnt exist. So who cares if a person is alone?

Shuichi turned away from her and walked to the balcony. Before, if anyone asked him about his past he would break down and cry. Thinking about the past. But he took all his strength to forget it. And he had no more tears left to let go. So what he does when this type of situations happen... was walk away. Like what he did to the person he loved years ago.

" Shuichi! I'm sorry did i say somethign wrong?" she asked. Going to the balcony. Shuichi rested his hands on the balcony railing. " i'm soooo sorry i shouldnt have been such a busy body and pry into your past, i'm honestly sorry i wont do it again-,"

" Yuki eiri." Shuichi said.

" huh?" Yumi looked at him. The wind was blowing now, making the air chilly.

" Yuki eiri. Thats who scarred me"

XXX

"Uhhh" Shuichi's eyes slowly opened,his vision was blurry at first, after a few times blinking, he was staring at the ceiling with dim lights.He sighed, he didint want to get up, but he didnt know where he was either.He turned to look at his left. Shelf,window,table... looks like someone's room. He thought. He was still blur. His hand went down to his stomach. a blanket was over him. A silk purple one.

Huh? He was very sure he wasnt in the hotel.The place looks frighteningly familiar.He blinked a couple of times again putting a hand up to his head and massaged it.At the same time he sat up.He's stomach was empty.He could get something later once he knew where he was. The place smelled nice. And quiet. But he felt like….

" Awake. finally."

And the quiet serene moment of Shuichi's thoughts came to a halt when he heard that particular low deep voice.

Shit. Shit shit.

He didint want to turn to his right.He took some time just rubbing his head.Wishing that this was just a dream, maybe rubbing his head more would make him go back to sleep and pull him out of this twisted nightmare.

" no use avoiding me Shuichi."

The voice came out again. True. No use avoiding reality.

_Besides I'm over it._

Shuichi turned his head to see a familiar blonde man sitting down on the single sofa a distance from the bed.He was wearing glasses and was holding a book. He mustve been reading before Shuichi woke up. It was unbelievable it couldnt be him. He never wanted to see him again. Ever. But why was he here in front of him?

"So quiet?" the man asked. He took off his glasses and placed it on the bed side table. He stood up. " or are you sending impulses to your brain telling you its me?" he asked walking towards the bed.

_Crap. Still the same old Yuki Eiri. The bastard._

"My brain knows its you. Doesnt need more interpreting like yours does."Shuichi said annoyed, he pushed off the blanket and got off the bed.But he stopped and clutched his stomach. "ahh" It hurt. Crap. Gastric. He forgot he had gastric if he didint eat he was sure to have his stomach walls getting eaten up.

Yuki stared at Shuichi for a while before understanding his pain. " Stupid idiot" He said.

" Will you stop calling me that like your so smart?" Shuichi told him. He was annoyed with Yuki and he was annoyed with life and fate which brought him back to Japan. He didn't mind coming back to Japan but why the hell in this particular house with this particular man? It wasnt his day. and he fainted! It just wasnt his freaking day.

Yuki quirked his brows. "stay in bed" He said.

" No." Shuichi said trying to get up again. His stomach hurting. He clutched it and tried to stand. Yuki had his hands in his pockets watching the other man get up machoistically.

" Your one stupid human" Yuki said. He couldnt stand the pitifull sight of Shuichi, he walked over to him and grabbed his shoulder.

When he did that Shuichi's eyes popped up wide, " hey what are you-," Yuki pushed him on the bed.

" Do yourself and myself a favour by staying in there. If you die on the spot trying to act all cool in front of me, Riku will kill me. And i dont really want my fiance murdering me before our wedding" he said then walked out of the room.

Shuichi watched him go out. He was so blunt. He was sooo fucking blunt. Shuichi wanted to punch out all his coolness. But He was right, whats the point acting so macho in front of him when it would just bring him more pain?

Shuichi frowned. He was used to pain. He didint care. He gritted his teeth but he was mad to heck finding himself here. But Yuki... Yuki was cool about it. He acted like nothing happened between them... Maybe nothing ever did. It was 5 years ago. And didint Shuichi forget about it as well? Shuichi breathed in.It was a long time ago, he thought, forgive and forget.

Yeah thats what i'll do. Thats whats Yuki's doing as well. For Riku and new 'shuichi' i built up for th elast 5 years.

Yuki came back in with a tray wich contained water, a pill and a plate of toast. Shuichi noticed his hair had grown blonder...and taller... He still looked cool. How did he get that image? Was it stuck onto him Shuichi thought.

" Here" He gave it to Shuichi who took it. " Now eat." he said.

Shuichi looked at it for a while. Yuki gave him a stare " its not poison if thats what your wondering."

"huh?" he looked at Yuki, " what? No!" He said loudly, " Of course i'm not wondering whether thats poison or not!" he said irritatedly, he didn't take the pill. He didn't like any sort of medication.So he left the pill aside. and, drank the water and ate the toast.Yuki stood there as Shuichi ate.

It was a very long moment of silence. Shuichi was happy he had something to do. Like eat. besides he was as hungry as a horse.

What was bothering him though was the air the other man gave.Shuichi tried to ignore his presence in the room. But it was so hard. It was impossible. Not that he had any feelings for him. it was just his eerie presence.

"Where's Riku." Shuichi finally asked munching on his toast. Yuki conitnued staring boringly at Shuichi " shes back at her mother's place. I'm calling her in a while to tell her, her beloved cousin is awake."

"Oh. Ok she must be worried" shuichi said giving a small laugh. Riku could get worried dover something so easily.

" actually she is. You just fainting like that wasnt a funny greeting." Yuki said. " Attention much?"

Shuichi grew hot. " Will you stop giving your own ideas to my actions? I fainted because i didint eat and sleep for a day or so. I was busy working to do all that." he told Yuki.

Yuki shoved his hands into his pocket, " Thought so. That was stupid though not eating. a 22 hour flight and no food? Not like you at all" Yuki said turning to walk out.

" Yeah right. like you know me any better than everyone else in this world" Shuichi said hitting Yuki back with his remark.

The blonde man turned to look at him. His brown eyes bore through him. " You'll be staying here untilt he wedding" He told Shuichi.

Who... spat his newly eaten toast back out.

" WHAT!" Shuichi nearly shouted.

Yuki seemed to find his actions funny. " Yes. Ironic isnt it?"

" NO i am going to a hotel or something. I'll be a huge bother. A Huge huge huge major bother." feeling more energised he got off the bed. " Its inconvinient for both me and you isnt it? So dont worry a hotel nearby would do." He said walking past yuki.

Yuki grabbed his hand, " Dont be stupid brat."

Yuki said the word 'brat' before he could stop himself. In fact he totally didint notice he said that until Shuichi looked at him unbelievably. Did Yuki forget he used to use that word with him? Or did he just say that for fun?

" Just let go of my hand Yuki" he said.

" Heh. Finally you said my name. was that hard Shuichi?" Yuki asked. His hand still gripped Shuichi's. What was he doing?

" Yuki this is getting sick. Let go of me" Shuichi said pulling his hand away, but when he pulled his hand away, Yuki pulled Shuichi towards him harder.

" Why Shuichi? Besides fainting because you ddint eat..was it also because of the shock of seeing that i was there?" Yuki asked a bit too dangerously. They were close. But not that close. Shuichi wouldnt allow physical contact with him. But Yuki was gripping his hand. Oops avoiding physical contact is broken.

" Dont flatter yourself Yuki.You do it too much. Get a life" Shuichi said. He was annoyed with Yuki;s behaviour. What was his point to this? Shuichi tried to pry his hand out of Yuki's grasp.

Yuki however didint let go.He kept on holding Shuichi's hand tighter. And Shuichi noticed this. Shuichi was getting a bit scared. Yeah. Scared. He thought he would never see Yuki again. But now... and this... it was scaring Shuichi. Shuichi built a strong wall in the 5 years time. Not to let anyone get close to him. And seeing the man who made him build the wall now... he had to stop the physical contact now!

" Yuki what the hell! Let me go you idiot!" Shuichi said, trying once again to pull his hand away,and this time Yuki let go. The blonde man looked at the hand he gripped with then at Shuichi. " Didint mean to do that. Forget this." he said and walked out the door.

Shuichi rubbed his wrist where Yuki gripped.It was red. He didint understand why Yuki did that.In fact, he didint understand why fate brought him back here. He was so mad he could… eat another toast.

XXX

" SHU CHAN!" a bouncy girl ran in the room where Shuichi was resting and jumped on the bed.

" ah! Riku….." Shuichi got up straight away. For the last hour after finishing his food, he and Yuki didn't talk again. Which was a good thing. Shuichi had to settle out the current situation.

And he had to tell Riku he cant stay here.

" Oh my gosh! You fainting like that was horrible Shu-chan! I thought id have a heart attack!" she said.

Shuichi looked at the girl, she cared about him a lot. And he loved her for that. But she getting chucked with Yuki? What the hell was fate thinking!

" I mean the last time you did that you gave me and mom a heart attack! Worse than now!" Riku said remembering what happened exactly 5 years ago. Shuichi looked at her.

" What?" he asked.

" remember 5 years ago? You stayed with us. You didn't eat for dayssss and because of that you nearly died, I remember when I found you lying on the floor in your room, looking like you weren't breathing, I thought my own had been suck out of me!" she said enthusiastically and thoughtfully.

Yeah…. Shuichi remembered. It was 5 years ago, when he decided once and for all to leave Japan. Besides there was nothing there for him. Sure Bad Luck was number 1 here and there. Beat Nittle Grasper and all, but it didn't matter to him that time. Without Yuki. There was no life.

He continued carrying on that statement till he came to the states, met with his long time cousin and started torturing himself.He didn't eat. Didn't take care of his health. He tried to torture himself to death. Because the pain in his heart wouldn't go away. It was stuck to him and what better way was it than to end life? He tried to kill the pain. But it was impossible he couldn't kill himself, but he couldn't take care of himself either. Slowly his health was deteriorating. He acted all healthy in front of Riku and the family but behind them he was slowly dying. Then one day he just collapsed. When riku came in she screamed her lungs out and he was carried to the hospital.

And was treated, for a moment he seemed to have lost the will to live. The doctor had said that shuichi wanted to stop breathing. But… somehow. He came back.He had to stay there for sometime. His family had to come down from Japan.He watched them cry in front of him asking him why he didn't take care of himself.

" Why Shuichi? Your hurting us!" His mother said tears falling down her face.

" Aniki.. ne " his sister too was crying. " Don't you care about us? If you die and leave, that means you don't care about us. Its not fair." She said.

Because of Shuichi's own pain. He caused other people pain. Even Riku cried. And they became close ever since. As for Riku.She would always take care of him and they became closer than real brother or sister. Ever since that day.He never wanted to hurt anyone else just because of his own pain. He would hurt himself. But not anyone else.He vowed on that.

And Shuichi gained his life back.

" SO! Shuichi" Riku's voice pulled him back to the present, " never ever ever again faint like that! Once was enough don't make it happen twice!" She said hugging him again. Shuichi smiled.

" That was then and it was…. A mistake. A deliberate one. But this one wasn't, I totally forgot to sleep and eat! Work." He told the girl.Riku smiled and hugged him even tighter, she didn't know what to do if she lost him. She already lost a father, she wouldn't want to lose Shuichi.

"Good. Because you're my brother and I love you shu-channn!" she said making his heart melt.

Shuichi grinned, he wouldn't want to lose Riku either. " Yeah love you too Riku-chan"he said.Over her shoulder at the door Shuichi saw Yuki standing staring at them.For a moment they stared at each other.

Did Yuki hear what Riku said about his condition 5 years ago? Did he? Shit if he did… if he did…. So what? That wasn't relevant to Yuki anymore. He would only relate to Yuki because he was his cousin's fiancée. That's all.He turned away from Yuki's gaze.

That's all.

XXX

A/n: Nyeh… another long chapter. Hope you liked this one. Ooooness! Review review people. I like them reviews. And thank you SOOOO much those who reviewd all the way now I super lov you! Muaks. Muaks,You certainly make my day. I had history today and chem. Tomorrow, So I had to finish this before chem. XD. I feel like answering reviews XD but itd be too long. I'll do it in a shorter chap. But for now 2 anoynomous blue silver-thank you your cool too! I hope I get an A too!. As for the rest reviewers you know I adore you. Tee hee.


	6. In his house!

story:In the end shuichi got tired of Yuki's crap, and when Yuki brushed him off, Shuichi didn't run after him anymore, rather slammed the door in his face. They havent seen each other for a long time, but what happens when shuichi goes to his best cousins wedding. Guess whose the groom? (romance/angst).

A/n: I soo do not own gravitation, eventhough i wish they did. It such an awesome story :) . This is not my first fic, but my first gravi fic. hope it works out

XXX

" What am I doing here?" Shuichi asked himself sitting on the floor in the middle of a very very familiar room. " Why shuichi why did you agree staying here? Why are you soo stupid Shuichi? Don't you learnnnnn shuichiiii!" he whined to himself.

He was now sitting on the floor of his FORMER room. The room he owned 5 years back when he was… living here. He winced. He didn't want to remember what happened 5 years ago. But being here in this room.

" whyyyy shuiiichiiiii" He said again. His bags were already by the cupboard.The pink haired boy looked so blur and stuck in the middle of the room.

An hour ago.

" So you don't mind staying here Shui?" Riku asked him when they walked out to join Yuki at the living room.The handsome blonde was sitting down on the couch puffing on ciggarate reading the newspaper when Shuichi and Riku came out.

" Huh? Here? I-," Shuichi looked at Riku, he seriously didn't want to stay there.

No way. No how.

" Yuki musnt have told you yet. See the wedding is in a few weeks. So why not stay here? Its better than going to your parents house. Oh my goodness you should see the people running in and out of there? Shuichi did you know we have MORE relatives?" she told him her eyes wide and big.

" Umm actually Riku-," shuichi wanted to start.

" Besides I don't want you to go to some hotel. When you're here Yuki can bring you around. Hes free when he's not being chased by his editor and when he's not in the mood to write." She continued.

" Riku I cant-,"

" Besides I SERIOUSLY want you both to get along! My two only most important guys in this world. I love it if you two would bond." She said grabbing Shuichi's hand.  
"Shuichi! Your so energetic and perky you make friends with almost anyone!" then she dragged Shuichi over to Yuki who wasn't bothered listening to them.

" And Yuki!" she said perkily,surprising him by grabbing his hand. " Your so anti social you need some fly buzzing around you for a few days!" She then put their hands together in her hand. She clasped them together.

This… ran shivers to Shuichi and Yuki's spine. Literally. The other pink haired girl was grinning, " Both of you are total opposites its weird!" she said, " so itd be fun watching you two get along" She said. Then she let go off their hands, " Now where did I put that bag with the stuff your mom gave me" She said turning to look for the bag she brought just now.

When she let go of both their hands, both of them were surprised their hands were linked under hers without knowing it. Shuichi's face grew hot and he pulled his hand away walking away from Yuki.

" Riku" Shuichi said as the girl looked for the bag high and low, " I cant stay here." He said.

Riku stopped looking for the bag and stopped to look at him, " Why?" she asked. Her big purple eyes full of question. Shuichi didn't know what to say. Why? Yes why couldn't he stay?

For sure he couldn't say " Nawh. Its nothing. Its just that I cant stay in the same house as my ex lover. Yup. The one that made me go into depression. Yup cousin dearest. This bastard here."

He'd rather jump off this building and bury himself.

" I think. What Shuichi-kun here meant to say is, he cant stay here if your not around." Yuki said behind them. " Plus. I think he thinks that it's a problem for him to stay here." Riku turned to look at Yuki.

Shuichi looked at Yuki as well.He really didn't want to stay there.But Riku wanted him to be there.Wanted him to stay here.With her fiancée.He silently thanked Yuki for saving him out of this.Eventhough he still hated the fact he was in the same room with him.

" Whattt? Shuichi! Silly silly!" she said patting his head. " No no. I don't think you will be a burden to Yuki.Dont worry." She said giving him a smile. " I think both of you will get along! No problems!" she said giving a happy sweet smile to both of them.

" A LOT of problems!" Shuichi said. Still sitting down in the middle of the room he was in. " Crap. Crap. I cant say no to Riku. But I cant stay here either." He said to himself. He then toppled over to lie on his back on the floor. " Well. I guess as I promised myself… people's priorities first.Never mine." He stared at the ceiling.He remembered this room. He didn't want to. But he did.He owned this room. Correction. He used to own this room. And he had a lot of memories in here. Shit. crap.

Well as long as I stay away from Yuki's way and he mine. Nothing bad will happen.

" Having fun down there Shuichi? Or are you just trying to seduce me?"

Shuichi tensed up, then jumped up quickly. He saw Yuki standing at the door jamb looking at him. The other man had already changed into a new pair of jeans and black shirt. Whoa. Still looking good.

_Eh? Where the hell did that come from?_

" Didn't you ever learn how to ask normal things?" Shuichi asked glaring at him. " you know like. What are you doing on the floor or. Are you liking the floor?" Shuichi said brushing his hair into place.

Yuki just stood at the door. Shuichi looked at him.

" Don't look at me that way. You staying here is as bad news to you as it is to me. So don't give me that cock look." Yuki told him.

Shuichi gritted his teeth, " Yeah well the feeling is mutual.So you don't have to point it out. Ass." He turned away. Yuki was still looking at him though.

" What." Shuichi asked rudely.

" We're going into town in a bit" he told shuichi. " We have like this dinner shit with the rest."

Shuichi walke over to his suitcase nd put it on the bed. "Dinner? With?" he asked.

" The rest. Your family and a few friends. Dinner. Some shit dinner" Yuki said.

" its because of your engagement. Stop saying its shit" Shuichi said annoyed with Yuki's attitude on things.He still didn't find anything serious. If he didn't find Riku serious and plays around He'll Kill Yuki himself.

Yuki found this pretty amusing from Shuichi.He sounded serious. But then again he didn't see the boy for 5 years.Things change since then didn't they?

"fine then. Some crap dinner" he said. Not changing his thoughts on the dinner. Yuki thought it was stupid. They seemed to have dinners every time someone feels like calling everyone out.Its annoying. Today it was because Shuichi was here. One of the major reasons.

Shuichi shook his head, "whatever Yuki, that's whatever you think" the boy said.He seriously doesn't take shit from people nowadays.If he says he doesn't like it. He doesn't. Pretty much one of his new attitude change.

"We're leaving in an hour. So get ready.Dont waste my time." Yuki said turning to walk out.

" I don't even want your time" Shuichi said loudly for him to hear. Yuki felt like going back in and slap him. But what was his point to do that? He had no relation to Shuichi except that he is her fiancés cousin. Favourite one at that.

But to both of them whatever they said. No matter what they think. Is personal. They both knew this. But ignored that fact.

Before Yuki went out of the room he turned back to shuichi.

" One more bad news." He told shuichi who was unpacking. " The dinner. Will have Hiro and the rest."

Shuichi stopped unpacking. " wha…t?"

" as in the whole happy happy clan. The annoying living ones. Hiro, sakano, K…. oh and don't forget to add in touma,my sister, brother and my unfortunate living father." Yuki said coolly.

Shuichi put a hand to the top of his head. The whole group? The whole lot!

_What else did you expect Shuichi? Yuki and Riku are both connected to you in many many ways. And many many people.Yuki especially. How can I avoid that? How!_

"But noone… noone told Riku…" He was curious about his particular thing. He had to ask.He had to know whether he liked it or not.

Yuki raised his brows and stared at Shuichi. " Told Riku what?"

" I mean. Hiro… your brother? And the rest they didn't tell Riku…. About.. about.." he hated to say it to even mention it but he had to know. Until now he didn't know if Riku knew about his past and Yuki's.

Yuki found this amusing, he knew Shuichi didn't want to remember or mention it. SO he teased the boy. " About? About? Come on Shuichi. Don't stutter." He said giving a cynic smile.

Shuichi felt like punching Yuki. About the 5th time now he thought of punching him today. He didn't want to blow but when Yuki gave his smile…

" ABOUT US DAMMIT." Shuichi said loudly. There. Yuki wanted that didn't he? Well he got that. He seriously didn't stop tormenting him even until now.

Yuki's smile widened. It wasn't a happy smile. It was more evil smirk to Shuichi than a smile.

"So emotional Shuichi-kun." He said, " but to your question…. No. No one told." He said then he left the room.

Shuichi breathed a bit faster after he left.

No one told? That was good.Surprising.But Very good. But… what will happen? When everyone sees him? What will they think or say when he comes in with Yuki AND Riku?

Shit. He hoped to god no one makes a big deal about it.

He hoped to god nothing bad will happen tonight. Because Shuichi had a bad feeling about it.

XXX

A/n: Na no daaa! Finally one short chapter! Didn't you hate me when I wrote long ones?Had to do this XD I was itching to do it.And yeah..i do put up chaps fast...and its exam week And because of the beautiful reviews, I had to write something! hugs all reviewers Man you guys are great. Thanks to those who said my story is not like some others.Makes me happy ne! I super like your reviews ! Continue reviewing and I continue doing. Weee. The next chapter might be soon. :D I think.


	7. Tonight's dinner

story:In the end shuichi got tired of Yuki's crap, and when Yuki brushed him off, Shuichi didn't run after him anymore, rather slammed the door in his face. They havent seen each other for a long time, but what happens when shuichi goes to his best cousins wedding. Guess whose the groom? (romance/angst).

A/n: I soo do not own gravitation, eventhough i wish they did. It such an awesome story :) . This is not my first fic, but my first gravi fic.Nee XD

XXX

Yuki was already outside waiting at the car for Shuichi who just came down an hour later.Before that Yuki was busy puffing on a ciggarate, today will turn out to crappy. He could feel something bad was going to happen.He just had a feeling. He frowned. Just like when he had a feeling Shuichi was going to leave him 5 years ago. It didn't matter now. It didn't hurt him to think about what had happened. It was the past. He accepted it.

" Well… he was supposed to go anyways," He said to himself tilting his head to look up at the dark sky.

" Who was supposed to go?"

Yuki looked down to see a very cute boy in nice fitting pants and black shirt with black knee length jacket come down from the steps of the house. Yuki's gaze lingered on him. No longer the quarter pants t-shirt and jacket boy. Shuichi looked down right cute.

" None of your business. Nice shirt," He commented dryly.

The other man raised his brows at Yuki, " Thanks for the sly comment." He looked around, " we're picking up Riku?" he asked him.

Yuki looked at his watch as Shuichi walked past him to go to the car. " No. She's going there first."

He stopped. Turned and looked at Yuki who looked back at him blankly.

" What?" he asked curtly. He didn't know why but he seriously didn't think right. He too was trying to figure out what his ex-_friend_ was doing here. They didn't get along well still…But they didn't fight that much either. That was good. Yuki could feel he could like with it. For the next few weeks till the wedding.

" You mean shes not coming with us? You mean I have to go in that car alone with you?" shuichi asked pointing to the car. "Walk in dinner with _you?_" he asked bewildered.

But Shuichi couldn't cool about it. Yuki at first when he got a call from Riku saying she was going to be there earlier than him he hesitated as well. He was going to be stuck with Shuichi in the house, so traveling was not a problem. But walking in. What would the rest think? And they didn't know Shuichi was coming back. That's the best part.

But, he was Yuki Eiri. He didn't care what the rest said.He didn't care about critics. But shuichi did. He smiled.

" Yes walk in with me. You got a problem with that Shuichi- kun?" Yuki asked him walking to the drivers side. Shuichi didn't get in the car yet.

" But that's just wrong!" he said offendedly.

" Can you please shut up? And get in the bloody car?" Yuki said getting in the car, he started the engine. Shuichi didn't want to go in. But after Yuki rummed the engine a few times Shuichi went in and closed the door.

" this isn't a good idea. Us walking in at the same time isn't good." Shuichi yapped. Yuki drove off. " besides why do I have to go? Its not necessary right? Its for you and Riku. I'm just crashing." Shuichi said on and on, he didn't look at Yuki when he was yapping on. But when he realized he was talking all the way and Yuki didn't say a thing he looked up at the blonde man. He nearly screamed when he saw Yuki Stuff tisu in his ear.

" STUPID ASS! You weren't listening." He said shouting in the car. Yuki rolled his eyes taking the tisu from his ear.

" its useless listening to you. Riku asked me to bring you whether you like it or not." He said looking on the road.

Shuichi couldn't really disagree with Yuki. They both love Riku and had to listen to her. Shuichi didn't bother Yuki about why he should go to dinner. He'll just act normally when he walks in. Besides why was he getting so worked up for? As he said himself. He had no relation to Yuki. He had. But that was buried. A past which was buried.

But, Yuki? Did he love Riku? He didn't know why but it was something he wanted to know. But he wasn't in a place to ask. He was the cousin. But… Yuki _was_ someone he knew well back then. It'd be awkward asking him.

Ugh. The situation for him was heck.He really wished nothing shitty happens tonight.

" We're here" Yuki said getting out of the car.Shuichi got out and looked up. He gaped.

" No way!" he said getting out of the car. Yuki looked at him. Shuichi looked at the place.It was a bar/restaurant.He's been here before. With Yuki's sister. He remember vividly she was practicing with Hiro when she barged in grabbed him and went into this bar. Noone was there.It was like she owned the place. "ask you something yuki? Will it only be us in there?" he asked pointing to the building.

Yuki nodded, " Yes. Mika arranged it. Its always Mika and Riku doing some shit." he said.

Mika and Riku, shuichi thought. He knew Mika never really liked him but she grew to

Accept him and they were pretty much on good terms. Until of course the day he left Yuki. He shook his head he wasn't supposed to think of that.

" Obviously somewhere posh"shuichi said closing the car door.

Yuki shrugged walking first, " Don't care. I pay they just choose the location. Riku loves all these things." He shoved his hands into his pocket.

"oh. Yeah. She does" Shuichi said recalling the girl loves parties or get togethers.Shuichi did too… now he'd rather skip any party just to be at home sitting down writing some crappy lyrics, or playing his keyboard. Right now he wanted to go back to America and do just that. Rather than walking awkwardly behind …. Him.

They walked in silence shuichi behind Yuki.Once they reached the restaurant door,Shuichi hesitated to go in.

Yuki then turned, " Why shuichi? Scared?" he asked.

Shuichi glared at him, " for what?"

" To let your old friends see us walk in together. It isn't a crime." Yuki said his brown eyes dancing. Something was in his eyes. Shuichi didn't know what.

_But he has such nice sharp brown eyes…._

Shuichi blinked,he knew that came out of his head. But he ignored what he thought.

" I'm not worried about that. Besides, why Yuki? _You_ scared? I don't mind, whatever happened years ago is buried. I'm just glad to see the people I know.When I go in they'll greet me." Shuichi said coolly and opened the restaurant door proudly.

" I'm not scared of anything i don't care. Oh by the way, none of them know you're here." Yuki said as Shuichi opened the door.Shuichi stopped.

" What?" he turned and at that moment Yuki slid his arm around Shuichi's neck surprising the young boy. " Yuki what the hell are you-,"

He tried to get Yuki's hand off him by holding his hand which was on his neck and trying to pull it off, but what was weird was that the whole restaurant which was noisy turned quiet.He looked up and saw people he knew. Staring at him.

Hiro.Touma.K.Ryuichi.Mika.Sakano.Tatsuha.Ayaka.Nuriko.Suguru.

All of them instead of putting on a happy smiley face were instead filled with surprise.

More of like a " what is Shuichi doing here? Wait no better what the hell is Shuichi doing here WITH Yuki!" look. Than a 'gasp' look. Shuichi was glued onto the spot.

First, he came in with Yuki, two, its weird being in a position like this with Yuki, three,they didn't know he was coming, four, they're all surprised and five, he's going to kill Yuki.

But the best thing is, when he left 5 years ago, he didn't part with any of his friends in peace.

"SHUICHI! YUKI!"

A familiar voice broke the silence.

_Thank god!_

Shuichi thought he would die of the awkward silence but Riku just came out of the washroom and saw them.She ran over to them, she stopped when she saw their position. Yuki's hand over Shuichi's shoulder and Shuichi's hand on Yuki's hand.

Everyone behind her breathed in. Shuichi didn't move. Or breathe. And he fore sure didn't want to look at Yuki's face.He swore he was going to kill him later. Yuki wont live to see daylight.

" Oh my god!" Riku said loudly. "….. you two!" she pointed to Shuichi and Yuki.

Riku didn't know. Shuichi knew Riku didn't know. Did she? Did she find this awkward like the rest does?

" You're both bonding!" she said at last laughing. " That was sure fast!" she said.

Everyone who were holding their breathe. Breathed again. In relief.But Shuichi felt like he died a minute ago. He was going to lecture Riku on just telling the point straight away rather than making people wait and hope for the worst.

" very fast. Me and Shuichi click easily." Shuichi heard Yuki tell Riku. Yuki removed his hand from Shuichi's shoulder. The pink haired boy felt so screwed. He looked up and saw Yuki smirk at him. "don't we Shuichi?" Yuki asked him and grabbed Shuichi's chin,his brown eyes bore into Shuichi's beautiful purple ones. Shuichi gritted his teeth and pulled his face away.

_Fucking bastard! He was playing with me! It was deliberate to make everyone see!_

Shuichi hoped Riku would forgive him when she finds her fiancé dead somewhere in a ditch near his house. But Yuki could be so cool about doing all that in front of the people who knew about them! What the hell.

_I don't care._

Was what he said. True. Yuki didn't care about what other people says. But Shuichi did.

Riku grinned and hugged the both of them, " Oh my goodness! So good to hear. Shuichi! Meet the rest." Riku said. Shuichi nodded and looked up at the bar. Yes. It was empty only for them. For the people who knew him and for the people who were just invited.

Yuki slid his arms around Riku's waist and pulled her near, Shuichi saw this, he didn't know why but he turned away his face a little bit pink. He seriously didn't know why but he just felt weird. Very weird.

Shuichi decided to walk and sit somewhere not in the middle of a Yuki/Riku moment. Its just weird for him.

_Weird? Why Shuichi? Because he was your ex-lover? And it hurts watching him with her?_

NO!

His mind screamed in his mind.Hurts? Nothing Hurts with him anymore.Nothing. He vowed.He would not think like that. He was over Yuki Eiri he was sure. He went to the bar and ordered a vodka. Ignoring the eyes which followed him.

"well well. For it's the great Shuichi Shindo which is the surprise." A woman's voice made Shuichi turn. He saw it was Yuki's sister Mika Seguchi. Still pretty and manipulative as ever.

" Hello Mika" Shuichi said politely. Then drank his vodka. Mika flipped her hair and leaned her elbows on the table top counter.

"Wow Shuichi.I'm surprised." Mika said.She was wear a long red skirt and black top. And her usual black lipstick.Mika was as beautiful as her brother. Shuichi knew that for a fact.No use denying that point. " you've grown up to be more I don't know. Umm alluring?" she said finally finding a right word. She looked at Shuichi from bottom to top. He sure was taller, and his boyish look was there there but he looks so much cuter.

Shuichi got this often so he didn't blush like he used to whenever someone gave him a compliment, " Thank you Mika." He said then drank his vodka. Mika raised her brows,she saw a totally different Shuichi now.

" HEY Shuichi! Mika! Come on here!" Riku called them both to one big table. Shuichi looked and saw that everyone he knew was there. Was this torture? Shuichi asked himself. He walked to the table, as he walked some of the guest he didn't know was looking at him whispering.

"isn't he from bad luck?"

"Yes! The one that went out with Yuki Eiri last time!"

"didn't he leave?he disappeared for years! He's back now!"

"Isnt it weird? Being at his ex-lovers wedding party?"

Who were these people? Shuichi thought. Must be some family and friends he didn't know.Who he didn't want to know.He hated people staring pointing gossiping about him.He hated the media.He hated all these stuff after he went to America.

When he reached the table he had a seat in the middle of….

" Tatsuha and ryuichi." He said in playful frustration.

" SHUICHII! Shuichiiii! Shuichiiii's back!" The now 35 year old man known as Sakuma Ryuichi. Shuichi wished Ryuchi didn't scream his name out. The people who didn't recognize him turned and stared at him, and started gossiping. He didn't know there would be other people here as well. Tatsuha was beside Shuichi's left when he sat down. He brought up his hand and patted Shuichi's back very very hard.

" nice to see you Shuichi.Glad to see you" he said loudly and cheerfully then he lowered his voice, " but that doesn't mean you can get in the middle of me and Ryuichi."

" Eh? Tatsuha what are you telling Shuichi? I wanna know too!" Ryuichi said. Shuichi sighed. But he smiled a little. Tatsuha was still the same and he didn't seem like he blamed Shuichi for anything and Ryuichi was being Ryuichi. In a moments time Shuichi was talking a little with Tatsuha and Ryuichi.There after with Noriko who was beside Ryuichi.

He still didn't feel comfortable. He noticed Touma wasn't there. Sakano and K did smile with him and tried to talk to him but he was far away from them. Suguru did wave at him. But didn't say much.

But who Shuichi was most uncomfortable with was Hiro. Hiro was sitting a distance away from him.Next to him was Ayaka. She waved to Shuichi who was looking at them. Shuichi was glad Ayaka was still with Hiro. But Hiro, didn't look at him at all. Since Shuichi came in, shuichi noticed Hiro glanced at him once then turned away. It hurt Shuichi to see his bestfriend ignore his existence in the room. But they didn't part on friendly terms. So its understandable.

" So Shuichi. How is America?" K asked suddenly. Shuichi looked up, " Eh? Umm its alright." He said putting his hand on his glass on the table.

"more fun than Japan, nye Shuichi nye?" Ryuichi asked. Ryuichi did live in America for a good 3 years. Everyone at the same table slowly looked at Shuichi.

" its alright.." Shuichi answered again. He shifted in his seat. He hoped to goodness they wouldn't ask more questions. Its Questions and answers he didn't like.

"where do you live now Shuichi? Which part of America?" Sakano asked. Shuichi noticed everyone was looking at him, except Hiro And Yuki. Hiro was looking elsewhere, he didn't look happy. Yuki. Yuki was ignoring what everyone was saying, but Shuichi knew both of their ears were on to listen. When for a while Shuichi didn't answer Sakano's question, sakano backed off, " eh Eh shuichi you don't have to tell me you know! Its not important-,"

" No. No Sakano its ok. New York. I'm living there" Shuichi said at last. Sakano smiled when he answered his question. Shuichi wished something else would pull everyone's attention away from him.

"You look really good Shuichi-kun," Ayaka said giggling a little. Shuichi looked at her, " Thank you Ayaka." He told her. He notice Hiro didn't like the comment Ayaka gave him.

" So 5 years there. Its pretty a long time there Shuichi. What do you do now?" Mika asked, putting chin on her slender hands looking at him. Everyone was curious. What did the Young boy do for a living in America? He couldn't be a singer, they didn't hear of him, so what did he become?

Shuichi didn't want to answer them this. It would be weird. Plus it seemed like to them they thought he couldn't achieve much.He could see that in their eyes. It wasn't comforting at all. He didn't know if he should lie or not.

Yuki now shifted his eyes to Shuichi. He didn't ask Shuichi all these questions as other busy bodies would. But interesting what did the boy become to? He looked fine and not in a ditch somewhere.

" Must be something he hates."

The voice starteled Shuichi, Shuichi turned and saw Hiro say that. Hiro was looking at Shuichi now. " Right Shuichi? Music just isn't your thing right?" Hiro said, Shuichi's eyes went big, that's what he told Hiro at their last fight.Everyone had puzzled looks on their faces. " You had no more music left in you remember? That's why you left. But it was something you loved.So whatever your doing now is something you dislike yeah?" Hiro said matter of factly.

Shuichi bit his lower lip. Hiro was still mad. Even until up to now. But Shuichi didn't feel the hate, only sadness that his friend would still had a grudge on him. Also, noone would believe he was still in the music business. So he didn't bother telling them the truth. It wasn't a big deal to him anyway.

"Hey! Hiro wait a minute, Shuichi is-," Riku got up to defend her cousin. But Shuichi looked at her, " Riku, he's right."

" What! Shuichi You-," but Shuichi looked at her to not make a big fuss on this.

Furthermore Yuki's eyes was the most disturbing stare on him. It was annoying. Plus he still would kill Yuki when they got out of the place.Shuichi wanted to open his mouth to tell them something else.

"yes I'm not doing anything useful-," He started.

" He's the manager for Shining Glow. And a very famous lyrics writer in America." everyone looked up to see who said that, the person looked up, Touma, " Am I right? Shuichi-kun?"

"T..Touma!" Mika said, " your late! And what are you talking about?" She asked him.

"Shuichi Shindou here is the manager for Shining Glow." Touma said he was looking good in while pants and shirt and his famous fur coat and hat. " Not only that he's a famous lyrics writer. Singers and bands want him to write lyrics for them." Touma walked over to sit next to Mika.

" uh…. Uh…" Shuichi didn't know what to say, Touma just had to come in and say that. He didn't want anyone to know and their surprise was visible.

" Eh? Shuichi? A manager? Wow!unbelievable!" K said.

" Shuichi? The one who loved missing band practice?" Suguru looked at Shuichi.

" Shindou-san? Isnt it hard work?" Sakano asked.

" You have to be kidding me" Mika said. " This small one?"

Shuichi felt like digging a hole, he didn't feel offended with what they said. He went through to much to get worked up over smug comments. But Riku didn't take it.

" WILL you all please stop that? I know Shu-chan was from Bad Luck, and he left you all to go to America, but honestly talking like hes not capable of being something is really hurtfull! Besides he manages Shining Glow well!" She said.

" Hmm that's veru true. Shining Glow's music has reached Japan." Sakano said matter of factly, " Theyre doing pretty well."

K gave a thumbs up to Shuichi, " You know im proud shuichi! You mustve learned managing qualities from me! Im proud!"

Suguru thought, " but then again… the songs Shining Glow sings sounds like Shuichi… maybe to a more mature side."

Everyone started praising and patting Shuichi's back. Shuichi smiled a little. But Hiro wasn't happy at all. He looked distant. Yuki didn't have a reaction at all. After he heard what Touma said he went back to drink. Like he wasn't bothered.

"Yes actually" Touma said a bit too happily. " He's a very good lyrics writer too. A lot of singers and bands practically ask him to write. But he's busy with his own band. But he still writes for them and some people."

"Heh burst your bubble there Bro your ex-boyfriend is a better lyrics writer than you." Tatsuha said without thinking. Everyone who was chatting now stopped talking. They all looked at Tatsuha who stil didn't get it.

Yuki narrowed his eyes at Tatsuha dangerously. " Ugh" His brother could be so dumb at times. But Yuki wasn't as disturbed as Shuichi was.Shuichi's eyes widened, he looked at Tatsuha, how could he say that so easily? He looked up at Riku, he hoped to god she didn't hear anything. Everyone who understood it kept quiet and did their own business after a second.

" I'm proud of my shu-chan too!" Riku said. Apprently she wasn't listening to what Tatsuha had said.She was talking with Ayaka. But Ayaka looked like she heard it as she was looking at Shuichi with a frightened look. But Riku didn't. Mika whacked Tatsuha's head when Shuichi breathed a sigh of relief.

Then a few minutues later everyone started talking normally. They still bombarded Shuichi with questions even more than before. Not about his private life, but more to his job. He was okay with answering that.Yuki wasn't bothered to join in the talk he was puffing on his ciggarate. Hiro however was still being distant from the group.

Shuichi was slowly getting used to everyone again, but his heart was still tugging. Hiro was ignoring him. He sighed, of all people to do this to him it was Hiro. But then again their parting didn't put any of them to peace. As how Shuichi's parting with Yuki hurt. But he was strong. He didn't let it bother him anymore.

Just when things were getting slightly better, Touma went on stage.

"Hello everyone! Having a great night?" he asked and everyone cheered. " Thought so. Well as brother in law of Yuki Eiri…"

"What the fuck is he doing?" Yuki shook his head and didn't look at Touma on the stage. Riku was giggling, " Oh Yuki come on!he's being nice! Eh Onee chan?" she asked Mika.

Shuichi's heart turned a beat. Riku called Mika Onee-chan.Which he never did. Mika nodded, " seems like it" she said. Shuichi looked down, when he was with Yuki not a lot of people approved right? So it couldn't be a good relationship.So It was good he left right?

_Why am I thinking about this? Why? It doesn't matter anymore. I have no more feelings for Yuki!_

_Yeah, but that's what you said when you thought you wouldn't see him again.ever. But you did Shuichi you idiot, you did._

" Bad luck!"

Shuichi looked up, " Huh?" he snapped out of his thoughts when Touma suddenly called out Shuichi ex-band name.

" Shuichi! Yay! You're going up to sing! Sing sing for me! Sing sing!" Ryuchi said excitedly.

" what?" Shuichi was puzzled and looked at Touma on the small stage.

" Nye.. come on members of bad luck, come on up and sing a song or two for this lovely couple!" Touma said happily on the stage.

"Wha.. what? But I cant sing.." Shuichi turned to look at suguru who looked puzzled. Then Shuichi slowly looked at Hiro. Hiro was surprised as well,he accidently looked at Shuichi, then realized what he did he turned away. Then Hiro stepped on the stage. Shuichi sighed, Hiro's still not backing down. Then Suguru followed him. It was only left Shuichi at the table. Touma brought up the instruments.

Everyone waited for Shuichi who didn't know what to do. He didn't lie to Hiro. He did stop singing, he was only in the music business but he doesn't sing..Shuichi looked at Riku,she looked like she really wanted Shuichi to sing for her. In truth Riku has never heard him sing. Only when she went to Japan,she saw his face on a cd, he didn't even tell her he was in a band. This was an opportunity to hear the famous bad luck.

" Go on shuichi!" Ryuichi said pushing Shuichi on the stage, Shuichi panicked and tried to go back, " no no. I cant sing. Ryuichi I cant-,"

" why don't you just say your scared?" Hiro told Shuichi as he was plugging in his guitar. Shuichi stopped and looked at Hiro.Everyone was quiet now.

" I'm not scared." Shuichi told Hiro. Shuichi really didn't want to sing, but Shuichi's choice of not singing made Hiro more agitated. Shuichi really didn't know what to do. His eyes flickered over to Yuki and Riku. The girl seriously still hoped she'd sing.And so did everyone else. But when Shuichi's eyes went to Yuki, the man was looking at him broodingly. He didn't know if Yuki wanted him to go up and sing or not. Shuichi was surprised with himself, what was he thinking? Yuki's opinion did NOT matter.

" If your not scared. Then come up and sing" Hiro said smirking at Shuichi. Shuichi looked at him, after a moment of thinking, he smiled.

" I will. If you'd talk to me and stop giving those unsatisfied looks ne?." He said that and jumped on the stage.The lights dimmed. What he said shocked Hiro,but under the dark light, Hiro smiled and started rage beat intro.

And Shuichi jumped in the beat singing. When he started singing everyone started aweing and clapping. How they remembered his voice, the famous Shuichi Shindou from Bad Luck.

" Waaa! Shuichi is awesome!" Riku said clapping, she practically stood up. Everyone else smiled, they remembered Shuichi's old personality which beated everyone up.

Yuki's eyes were transfixed on the singer. And suddenly he flashbacked. Remembering the first time he went to Bad Luck's concert. He watched Shuichi perform on stage, watched the boy freeze for a while when he saw Yuki there, watched the boy sing. And that was when Yuki decided to have a relationship with him.

He shook his head as if to make that image fly out the window.He didn't know why but why were all the memories coming back to him now? When all this time all this 5 years it hadn't come out once? Was it because Shuichi was here? No. Can't be. Besides. He finally put down his feelings for Shuichi ages ago. Didn't he?

" Still as energetic as ever that boy." K said, " Shouldn't have let him go in the first place. Shouldve strapped him to a chair or something."

" But he had to go. Were you to give him a chance to stay and suffer K? Somehow I thought he'd do better there." Mika asked him. K shrugged. Yuki heard this and turned to them, they better shut up. Riku was still engrossed with her cousins's singing. But Yuki heard how much Shuichi suffered after going to America. He heard Riku and Shuichi talking. Somehow… somehow… after hearing them talk about Shuichi's condition. He felt like he blamed himself.

_No it was his fault to kill himself. That's his problem._

Yuki thought pushing away all the guilt. But it seeped back in. He looked up again at the stage after Bad Luck finished their performance, everyone was cheering and Shuichi took a bow and gave them a beautiful shining smile. Yuki remembered that smile very very well.. But it annoyed him sooo much that he remembered so much about shuichi. He suddenly stood up and left the place. Riku didn't notice because she was applauding Shuichi's performance. But Mika noticed this. She frowned. " this isn't good." She told herself and turned back to look at Shuichi on the stage smiling.

Then she noticed Shuichi's eyes fell on to where Yuki sat. But Yuki wasn't there anymore, for a moment Mika thought she saw disappointment in Shuichi's eyes, then the boy waved to the audience and went down the stage.

" This is not good at all…" Mika said again.

XXX

A/N : ARGGHHH! If it wasn't for my onee chan Suzaku koi I wouldn't have finished this chapter. So many thanks and love to her. She threathened me she wouldn't give me gravitation track 56 and 57 if I don't do this. So I have to do this. Sigh. But again this is for my onee chan,with lots of love. Its longer than usual. Yes I know. Damn long. Sorry about that. But I had to get through this scene.

And somehow I don't like this one. I don't know about you guys but I didn't like this chapter ( too long.). Heh heh. I promise to make it up to you guys in the next chapter. Review review! By the way I take good flames. And if you flame otherwise, I'll join Yuki and light up our ciggarates with the flames anyone gave :D. But as I go on. Thank you for those who review. I super heart you guys! To : BakuraXmalikboys thanks for the continous reviews, Shadowkitsune67 it makes me sooo happy you review most of the time., 4evertinkerbell I don't think itd be like you say it is :P I promise I wont make it like that hahathank you for "A"!., Ranma064 haha!I updated so don't hold a knife over me ;) but if you don't review I do the same to u XD,Jk., Ccsbrat thank you like my story I appreciate you!. Angeldean love you girl, glad you like my story. Theres more I wanna thank cause your such great reviewers but I cant write it in a whole long list :D but all the same I heart you my reviewers!


	8. A little hint?

story:In the end shuichi got tired of Yuki's crap, and when Yuki brushed him off, Shuichi didn't run after him anymore, rather slammed the door in his face. They havent seen each other for a long time, but what happens when shuichi goes to his best cousins wedding. Guess whose the groom? (romance/angst).

A/n: I soo do not own gravitation, eventhough i wish they did. It such an awesome story :) . This is not my first fic, but my first gravi fic.Nee XD

XXX

" That was awesome shuichi!"

" Yeah you still got it in you."

" Love your voice shuichi!"

"Shuichi go back and sing!"

Were some of the things Shuichi heard when he was walking down the steps. He grinned, he felt more energetic now. He always felt like that whenever he sang. But he wouldn't want to sing again. That was the first and last. He sighed he had to pull up all his energy to sing that song. And it wasn't as good as last time. He knew why, but didn't want to admit it.

" Good show Shuichi." Hiro said, making Shuichi turn to look at him. " even 5 years in America, You never forgot one beat of the lyrics…." He said pulling back his long hair from his face. Shuichi wasn't surprised Hiro would come down and talk to him.

" I don't know why either. Maybe its because its my lyrics I wrote and my song." He said shrugging, " Our first debut single. Why would I forget it?" he asked hiro who shoved his hands in his pocket. The other man looked as hot as ever. Shuichi smiled. Then Hiro smiled at as well. For a short moment all they did was smile.

XXX

" WHAT!" Hiro stood up near to shouting. " Your kidding right Shuichi?"

Shuichi looked up tiredly at Hiro, " No…. Hiro… I'm quitting Bad luck." Shuichi looked like he didn't eat or sleep for the whole night. It was true after he left Yuki's place, he tumbled at Hiro's place only to let Hiro panic.

" Only for like a week right? Your going on a holiday right? With Yuki right?" Hiro gave his own ideas to why Shuichi wanted to leave. When Shuichi heard this, he suddenly teared up. Tears falling down his face. Hiro was surprised, " Shuichi!"

"No hiro. I'm quitting bad luck for good. I cant sing. I cant sing anymore." He told Hiro in short breaths. Hiro wanted to help Shuichi. But he stoppd when Shuichi said that.

" No. NO Shuichi. You can sing. This is just a temporarily thing…" Hiro tried to persuade Shuichi.

Shuichi shook his head, he was on the floor now,his tears splashing the ground " You don't understand. I cant sing anymore. I don't have it in me. I cant sing I lost it. My passion for music is gone"

Hiro didn't get it, he didn't know whether to pity Shuichi or get mad at him. Because Shuichi always cried, but this was the first time he said he wanted to quit so badly. And Hiro noticed how bad in shape Shuichi was.

" its only temporary. You always have these blocks. Its nothing Shuichi just go back and sleep and-,"

" NO damn it Hiro! Don't you understand? I cant sing without passion! I cant sing without Yuki!" He whacked the ground. " I have to quit bad luck. I have to get out of here. For the sake of some sanity left in me," Shuichi got up and walked groggily to the door.

" STUPID. STUPID STUPID STUPID!" Hiro shouted grabbing Shuichi's hand, " Where the fuck are you going? Shuichi! What the hell why has everything got to do with Yuki? Does he get in the way of our music shuichi? Why Shuichi! Don't I matter? We promised to start and end this in a good way!"

Shuichi shook his head, " its not that Hiro. But without Yuki I cant live… you know that. I have to get away. I cant be like this. If I stay here, if I see him i'll suffer. He hurt me so much Hiro… Hiro if you care… let the band go..… let me go…" Shuichi's tears still streamed down his face.

Hiro looked at Shuichi, he didn't let his bestfriends hand go, " Because of him? Your throwing away your dream?... Our dream? Shuichi we're already on top. Don't do this…"

" I cant do it Hiro. i have to get away. Besides all this media stuff. Isn't for me." He tried to smile, then he pulled his hand away from hiro's grasp and walked to the door.

" You walk out that door and leave Shuichi Shindou. I will never forgive you." Hiro said darkly.

Shuichi turned and smiled slightly, " You will never forgive me Hiro. True. But you wil never hate me either. Bestfriends forever ne?" he opened the door and left. After that. The next day like Yuki… Hiro never saw Shuichi again. It pained him that Shuichi left the band. But it pained Hiro more that Shuichi left him, his bestfriend.

XXX

" So how are you." Hiro asked Shuichi who was smiling back at him. Shuichi shrugged, " Oh fine. You know despite the awkward atmosphere, I'm chilling."

Then Hiro laughed, " Your Japanese is a little off, too much american blood in you in the 5 years?". Shuichi whacked Hiro, " eh Hiro. I wasn't that good in languages of any sort before anyway."

Hiro put out his hand for shuichi to shake. The boy just looked at his hand. Then jumped to hug Hiro. Then they both laughed.

_It was true Shuichi… I maybe could not forgive you. But I certainly could never hate you._

" OH my gosh Shuichi! You were so awesome!" Riku said jumping over to her cousin and glomping him. Shuichi grinned, " glad to know you like it."

" why didn't you continue singing in America? Rather you managed people" Riku asked. Shuichi looked down, was he supposed to answer this question?

" Umm… I didn't feel like… umm i dont have….," Heart, he wanted to say, " Style for singing in America. I kinda lost intrest." Shuichi said smiling. Hiro tilted his head to look at Shuichi was the boy serious? Lost intrest? That wasn't what he heard last 5 years ago. And Shuichi loved singing on the stage, it showed so much when he was singing on the stage just now.

It was definitely Yuki.

" Ugh Yuki is so inconsiderate." Riku said,. Shuichi looked up at her, " why?" He asked.

" Don't know before you finished he just left the place, don't know where he is. I left him alone cause he might be outside smoking or something." She told him. Shuichi bit his lip.

_He went out? Why? Did he hate my music still and that much? Should I go check on him? _

Shuichi tought all that without thinking properly of what he really was thinking.

" I tell you, when I get married with him I'll force him to stop smoking." Riku said again.

Bam. Married.

Shuichi stopped and cursed himself for thinking he wanted to go check up onYuki. That wasn't his job. It was Riku…. Yuki's fiancée. Nothing to do with him. Somehow, eventhough over Yuki… he felt… obligated to go look for Yuki… Why? Why?

" Know what. Me and Shuichi will look for Yuki and bring him in eh Riku? Or we'll just stay outside and have some guy time." Hiro said smiling at Riku. Riku nodded, " Sure go ahead. God knows what Yuki's doing outside." She said and walked over to where Mika and Ayaka was.

Shuichi was puzzled, " Eh? I don't want to look for-,"

" Come on Shuichi" Hiro said pulling his hand to the entrance. Shuichi just followed hiro.

" Hiro What? And why did you tell Riku I wanted to look for that idiot?" Shuichi asked.

Hiro smirked, " idiot? Your addressing Him ever so casually Shuichi." His hand went up to shuichi's cheek brushing off Riku's lipstick smudge off.

Shuichi turned slightly pink and turned his face away " Don't play with me Hiro. I'm over Yuki if that's what your implying. Im not connected to him in any way other than a cousin of the bride." The good looking pink haired boy said. Hiro looked at him for a while.

"well I hope so." Hiro said. " because honestly your appreance here is a surprise to everyone and walking in with Yuki Eiri at that. Weird." Hiro said, then he hugged Shuichi again, " But eventhough it was a surprise, somehow I missed seeing you Shuichi."

" Does this mean I'm forgiven for leaving?" shuichi asked Hiro after they hugged. Hiro shook his head, " uh uh man there were so many things I couldn't forgive you. One bad luck,. Two you leaving completely from Japan and didn't tell anyone. And three left your bestfriend hanging… "

Shuichi looked down, " I'm sorry. Soooo sorry Hiro. That time I wasn't thinking properly."

" That's right…. So it was good you left, so you could get a new life patched up right? A bestfriends life is more important than a crummy band." Hiro said giving Shuichi his usual playfull smile.Shuichi couldn't contain his happiness and he jumped and hugged Hiro again.

"Hiro hiro! I told you, you could never hate me"

" Don't push it dummy."

XXX

" crap." Yuki muttered, one more stick left. He really needed to cut down on the smoking. But then again. Nah. Just now,Shuichi up there singing, it brought thousands of flashes back into his mind. He couldn't take it he just walked out. He didn't want to be in a cramped up bar anyway listening to some crap song he always heard last time.

A song he helped Shuichi write. Suddenly it flashed back to when he first met Shuichi…

"Is this yours?" he asked the post cute pink haired boy that night.He was holding a paper of unfinished lyrics.

" eheheh yeah that's mine-," he started to respond but Yuki cut him off.

" It sucks. Elementary school standard. You should stop writing." He said walking past the boy letting go of the lyrics making it flight into the night, " You have zero talent."

Was what he said to Shuichi. And after that fate started. Then Shuichi kept coming back and after more insults from Yuki, he finished the lyrics and it turned out to be a good one. And their lives got entwined there after.

" fuck it." Yuki said as he bit his unlighted ciggarate end. " Why am I thinking about such stupid matter now? Where the heck is my brain?" he asked himself. He was truly annoyed with himself, never in all these years did he think about the past, but why now? It was so annoying he felt like douching himself with water. He kept on walking down block, then he decided to turn back and go into the bar.

He was going to light his ciggarate when he saw Hiro come out. Yeah whatever. He and Hiro weren't on good terms, they had a boxing match right after Shuichi was nowhere to be seen last 5 years ago.just as he was reaching the bar door,he saw hiro was dragging a confused Shuichi out.

Shuichi said something, but since Yuki was a distance away he couldn't hear their conversation. It was eavesdropping Yuki knew this, but he tried to look the other way and ignore what they were doing, it wasn't his problem, he just went out to smoke.

But then he saw Hiro put his hand up to Shuichi's cheek. Yuki frowned. "what the…"

Then he saw Shuichi turn his face away. After a moment of talking Hiro pulled Shuichi into a deep embrace. Yuki frowned even more. Then it was Shuichi, he practically jumped to hug Hiro. When this happened Yuki was trying to light his cigarette end, and because he was watching them he didn't noticed the lighter flame touched his finger which was holding the ciggarate.

He felt the pain then shouted out loud "DAMN IT!"

His loud voice starteled Shuichi and Hiro who were hugging. Shuichi turned to see Yuki a distance away from them running his fingers through his blone hair.

" huh? Yuki?" Shuichi asked walking closer to the man. What was Yuki doing there?

Yuki looked up he looked annoyed, it was so clear, " What!" he said rudely.

" What are you doing there?... Boy you look pissed, something got up your ass?" Shuichi couldn't help stinging the other man. He didn't know why, he could be nice to the others but not this one in front of him.

Yuki's brown eyes flickered at Shuichi, " No. But funny for you to say since you always got something up yours."

Hit that.

Shuichi gritted his teeth. Hiro who was behind Shuichi noticed that this two couldn't get along together alone. But he chuckled, it was so them.

" Okay before you two get into a ring match, we better go in before people start having funny thoughts." Hiro said, " damn I didn't tell ayaka I went out. See you both inside." He ran inside before Shuichi could stop him.

Now he was alone with Yuki. He was still irritated by what Yuki said. But the guy still had class in his insults. Shuichi glared at Yuki.

" What? Don't glare at me you slut. And poor Ayaka." Yuki said making Shuichi frown.

" What the hell?" Shuichi asked.

"Don't play dumb, I saw what you and Hiro did. You both mustve really missed each other. So tell me, you coming back to my house or Hiro's tonight?" Yuki asked casually. Shuichi was shocked to hear Yuki say that.

" What? ME and Hiro?" shuichi asked Yuki disbelievingly.

Yuki narrowed his eyes, " As I said, don't play dumb,You and that long haired sissy had always been affectionate towards each other." Yuki shoved his hands into his pocket.

Shuichi blinked a couple of times at Yuki before he guffawed. " me and hiro? Were never considered an item" he told Yuki still laughing. Yuki's cool stance still didn't falter. His gaze on Shuichi. After Shuichi finished laughing he looked up at Yuki.

And for a moment they just stared at each other, " Why Yuki? You jealous?" Shuichi suddenly asked. It just came out of his mouth. He didn't think.

Yuki's eyes dropped broodingly to look at Shuichi. Yuki knew that wasn't a question to ask him. The wind blew past them, both of their coats flying with the wind. For a moment it was total silence, they didn't know what they were thinking or doing at the same time. Yuki slowly walked to Shuichi who didn't move. His hand came up to Shuichi's cheek. They both didn't have a clue or sense to what they were doing. Yuki's palm felt Shuichi's warm cheek, his face showing no expression.

Then, as if Yuki broke out of the trance he said, " You wish."

Shuichi turned red,very very red. He jerked his head back from Yuki's hand " I don't wish for you to be jealous, But me and Hiro are mainly friends. Don't jump to conclusions. Besides why point that out if you don't have your own intention?"

" Mainly looking out for Ayaka." Yuki said coolly. " Anyways, its getting cold and standing out here arguing with you is useless to the point of stupidity. So get out of my way." He said to Shuichi who stepped aside. He watched Yuki go into the bar. Shuichi sighed, he didn't know how he could stay in the same house with Yuki if even being alone with him causes so much trouble. Shuichi touched his cheek where Yuki's palm was.They both didn't realize what was happening, maybe it was the cold air. He slowly walked back into the bar.

What Yuki and Shuichi didn't realize was that Mika was standing nearby,her arms crossed.The wind blowing her long hair. She had a troubled look on her face.

XXX

" That was sooo awesome!" Riku said jumping around Yuki when they got out of the bar. Shuichi smiled at his energetic cousin.She seriously reminded him of himself ages ago. " wasn't it shu-chan? And you sang! Its so beautiful!" Riku said now jumping over to Shuichi whose smiled widened when she went over to him.

" It was great" Shuichi lied and patted her head.

Yuki watched them both. They were too close and they were alike, in some ways. Riku did reseamble Shuichi…. He frowned. Was that why he…. NO it couldn't be.

" Well anyways I'm awfully tired. I'll see you two tomorrow? At the wedding rehearsal ok!" She said jumping and hugging shuichi. " You sleep well tonight. Take supper if you want. Yuki doesn't mind. Treat it like your own house."

Shuichi's breath stopped. ' treat it like your own house' Riku had said. He had treated it like his own house. A good 5 years ago. " sure… but I wont use it to the extent." He said making Riku happy with his answer.

" good." Then she walked over to Yuki who was at the side, she roped her hands around his neck, " And you be nice to Shuichi."

Yuki's eyes went over to Shuichi behind Riku, " Oh. No problem." He said his eyes still on Shuichi, then Riku's lips went over Yuki's. Yuki kissed her back with a bit more power, Riku gripped his neck harder.

Shuichi was embarrassed to be there, his whole face turned total red, he turned away from the scene and decided to walk to the car first. He walked to the car briskly.He was being a bother there, He didn't want to see that. But his hand clutched his chest all of a sudden, because it was hurting.

Eh, whats wrong? He thought, probably heartburn… ate too much…

But it had a slight pain in his chest.He beat his chest lightly. Definetely too much food and alchohol that's all. It was good he walked away he didn't feel comfortable watching his little cousin kiss yuki. He was just being in the way.

_Is that your excuse Shuichi? Or did you feel lost watching your ex-lover kiss your cousin?_

" no. Fuck it. Stop thinking that way Shuichi." He told himself he leaned against the black Mercedes. " I am so over him." He kept on telling himself. It was true. For 5 years he tried to get over that blonde man. And it worked. Seeing him now doesn't change his built up feelings.

No matter what he could never be friends with Yuki Eiri.

XXX

Shuichi lay in the room he was lent to sleep in. He looked at the ceiling. Today had been hectic. Finding out the man his beloved cousin is getting married to… was Yuki Eiri. He could have a migraine that day by just thinking about the whole days event.

He couldn't sleep that night. So he jumped off the bed and walked around the room. He remembered this room…. When he used to live here he owned this room. Yuki gave him the keys to the house and this room. Shuichi walked to the window and looked out the same view… he walked to the table shuichi touched it, he always wrote his song lyrics on this table…. Surprisingly Yuki bought this table for him to write when they first moved in.

Ugh. Shuichi was annoyed again, he didn't know why he was remembering all of this. But it wasn't a crime remembering memories… but it is a crime relieving them.

Shuichi opened the drawers of the table, he frowned.

Huh?

All his stuff was still there…. His papers, blank ones and ones which has half written lyrics on them was still there. He rummaged through some more, his pens a few chewing gums were all still there. He opened the next drawer, his cd's and a few more papers…. And… a photo frame… of he and Yuki…. In one of the parks…

Nothing in the drawers was touched. Shuichi stood up and opened the room dresser. He gasped. The clothes he didn't bring with him was still hanging there.At the bottom were a few shoe boxes on his favourite stuff and other lyrics.

NOTHING in the room was touched or moved…. Since the day he left, everything Shuichi left wasn't touched. He would've thought Yuki burned everything or threw it away. It just took space, why would Yuki keep it? It wasn't Yuki's so he could throw it away. In the span of 5 years, he could've found time to throw it away… But no… everything was in place. Not touched, not moved. It was just there.

But why?

XXX

"Idiot wake up." Yuki said whacking Shuichi with a fly swatter.

"ugh… Yuki stop that!" Shuichi said getting up.

" There was a huge fly sleeping like a pig just now. I had to swat it." Yuki shrugged and threw the fly swatter on Shuichi. Shuichi fumed, " Idiot."

" Just get your ass off the bed, the fucking rehearsal is in an hour or so." Yuki told him going out.

Shuichi rubbed his head, then remembering something his head jerked up, " Hey Yuki."

The blonde man turned, "what do you want?" his eyes looked lazily at Shuichi.

" Umm…" Shuichi didn't know what to say, he wanted to ask why his stuff was still there, but decided it would be stupid and awkward,so he just shrugged it off. " Nothing. I don't have to wear anything formal right?"

"No unless you want to start the wedding now." Yuki said dryly.

" I was just asking a simple question. Do you have to be so sarcastic with everything I say?" Shuichi asked irritatedly. He got out of bed and stretched.

Yuki's gaze flickered on him, the last 5 years did good on Shuichi , that's for sure. The boy wasn't bony, he wasn't skinny yet he wasn't muscular, he was beautifully slender. He wondered how it was now if he were to take Shuichi's slender body against his.Just then, he realized what he was thinking then got ticked, " Just dress up and hurry. I have to beat the damn jam" he said going out of the room slamming the door.

"sheesh…. Talk about moody" Shuichi said and quickly dressed up.

A few moments later Shuichi went to the living room dressed up in simple jeans and T-shirt. He saw that Yuki wasn't there. So he decided to look for something to eat. He went over to the kitchen and looked around. The fridge… beer. Shuichi shook his head. He saw leftover food from 2 days ago. He shook his head again, he opened the top cupboard. Tin food. Sooo not healthy Shuichi thought. But that wasn't his problem he thought quickly.

Then he opened the lower cupboard. He gasped when he saw what was in there.

" Strawberry… Pocky..?" he murmed the bottom cupboard had boxes of strawberry pocky. " wow!" shuichi said taking one. He loved strawberry pocky. "eh…" he looked at the box. Yuki doesn't eat strawberry pocky that much. Why was it there? Must be Riku's he thought and went out munching on some strawberry pocky.

" Shuichi are you done-," Yuki came from the entrance door calling him when he saw Shuichi eating the strawberry pocky. " where did you find that?" he asked suddenly.

" Eh? Oh bottom drawer. You had a lot, so I thought why not I take one?"Shuichi said munching on more strawberry pockies. " Besides chill theres a lot more for Riku" shuichi said walking past Yuki. Somehow Yuki breathed in relief.

Riku did eat pocky... Chocolate pocky. Not strawberry.

XXX

" What! You mean Shuichi spent the night in Yuki's place?" mika asked Riku, they both were already at the park. Riku planned a small park wedding.

" Yes… He did. And he'll be sleeping over that until the wedding." Riku said cheerfully picking out some flowers nearby.

Mika put a hand on her head, " Riku… that isn't a good ide-"

" Look Mika. I think pink would be nice for the side steps when I come down, what do you think? HEY these flowers look like shuichi's hair!" she said skipping over to the pink redish flowers.

Mika sighed and rubbed her head. This was just wrong.

" Mika… relax." Touma who just came said, he placed his hand on her shoulder, " Riku knows nothing about Eiri and Shuichi's relationship. So it doesn't threathen their relationship."

Mika shook her head, " You planned this all correctly didn't you Touma? So that Riku would never know about them. How long do you think it will last? Did you know she was going to call Shuichi down?"

Touma shook his head, " not at all, she didn't discuss his coming down here to anyone at all. So I didn't think he would come down. Plus Shuichi is a busy person, I didn't think he would come down at all… That's what Seiji said, I was surprised when he told me Shuichi came down to Japan, that's why I came back yesterday. One I ws surprised he knew shuichi, two surprised all this time behind Shining Glow's success was this boy. And thirdly, surprised he came down. I don't think he knows it is Yuki .Riku is getting married to."

Mika nodded, " And we know how persuasive Riku can be" they both looked at the other girl still happily picking out some flowers. " well as long as noone makes a big deal about Shuichi's appearance and noone tells Riku anything about their past, nothing bad will happen to any of them."

Touma smiled, " Yes. Nothing bad will happen."

" YUKI! You idiot you did that on purpose!" everyone heard Shuichi's voice from afar. The boy was in small koi pond.

" Hey, I told you to watch your step" Yuki said walking down the steps to the valley park.

" BUT YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO PARK NEXT TO THE POND! And on my SIDE" Shuichi said getting out of the pond. " Obviously when I step out I fall into the bloody pond.Whats your problem man!" shuichi was completely drenched.

Mika looked at Touma who was still smiling.

" Honestly. I don't think either of them have changed in terms of shouting at each other." Mika told Touma who nodded smilingly.

Mika knew it was a bad idea putting Shuichi around Yuki. She didn't know how the both of them felt about each other now. But whether its hate or not. Its still not something good when the both of them are involved. She had to keep an eye on them.

XXX

A/n : I think I did this in a rush… I just think. Anyways I did it in one go. I really think this is going to be a long fic. Argh. Not THAT long. But long. Hope you all don't mind. Since I don't really like writing a chapter long. He he. You can see the confusement with the two men here.. understand it. The next chap will be a bit more moving XD. Hey I need fluff too :P ;) Muax.

**Ccsbrat**,aww you like all my chaps. Thanks!** BakuraXmalik'sboys** I love your reviews makes my day happy. **Rikka-chan** ha ha thank you. I don't like long chaps but thanks. **Guren **Thank you! I love it when people say its unlike a few others.And yeah writing long is good sometimes.I'll learn to appreciate long chaps XD tee hee. **Angeldean** Muax,thanks all the way.And as usual to the others thanks :D Muax muax.


	9. Cant i resist you?

story:In the end shuichi got tired of Yuki's crap, and when Yuki brushed him off, Shuichi didn't run after him anymore, rather slammed the door in his face. They havent seen each other for a long time, but what happens when shuichi goes to his best cousins wedding. Guess whose the groom? (romance/angst).

A/n: I soo do not own gravitation, eventhough i wish they did. It such an awesome story :) . This is not my first fic, but my first gravi fic.Nee XD

XXX

" haih… Shuichi…. And I thought being the manager for Shining Glow was hard work." Shuichi said to himself, he leaned against the willow tree nearby. " But participating in a wedding is harder.stupid hectic day." He arrived the place at 9 and now it was 5. To him I was like working 9 to 5 in America. But he usually overworks. So this is nothing.

Everyone else was there after he came, those who are participating. Mika as the maid of honor,(wow) and Tatsuha as the bestman (another wow). Ayaka was one of the bridesmaid. Weird, Shuichi thought, his cousin is close with Ayaka. Touma was helping them out with the decorating and such. And of course Riku the bride and Yuki the groom. Hiro was around to accompany Ayaka. So Shuichi had company the whole while when he didn't have to do anything.

When they were planning it out and rehearsing Riku didn't let Shuichi out of the fun, she kept on asking his opinion until Yuki just told them to plan the whole thing themselves, he didn't care.

Of course Shuichi found this awkward as the groom should have some part in it. But the whole day…. Shuichi noticed Yuki didn't bother much about it. He didn't give his opinion he just nodded to everything. And at one point Shuichi did get ticked off with his attitude.

XXX

" Whats wrong with you? Riku's asking your opinion and you just shrug and nod?" Shuichi told him off that afternoon when they had lunch break. Yuki went somewhere to smoke, and ironically Shuichi followed him. He wasn't satisfied with Yuki's attitude.

When he said that Yuki turned around to stare sharply at Shuichi. But unlike last time, Shuichi didn't falter. He stared back.

" That's none of your business right? What does it matter to you how I act? If I want to shrug and nod. That's up to me. Twerp." Yuki said lighting his cigarette.

But Shuichi couldn't keep his mouth shut. " Hey. This is YOUR occasion. Not mine. You have to play an important part in it. The MOST important part. I think Riku's pretty much disappointed you didn't participate much, let alone act enthusiastic about it. You are such a unbothered heartless creature. I don't know why Riku's with you."

Shuichi turned to leave the place.

"Hey-,"

But Yuki grabbed his hand and pulled Shuichi towards him hard.

" Whats your problem idiot? All you do is Provoke me. Is it wrong for me to act the way I am?Do you have a problem with that? Honestly Riku did not complain about how I act. And I'm ok with that. But here you come telling me off? Who the hell are you to say that?" Yuki asked him, he looked pissed.

Maybe it was a wrong time to tell him off. But shuichi still didn't care.

" I'm Riku's cousin. She used to depend on me all the time. And now shes going to depend herself on you. And your like this. Useless.Unbothersome. Heartless.Shitty. Annoying. Aloff. Asshole."Shuichi said pushing a button in Yuki's mind.

The blonde man wasn't satisfied with how strong the boy's comebacks are now. And yuki was known for smart sharp comebacks.

But instead of making him mad like what Shuichi planned,Yuki smiled, " Hey. SO what ELSE is new?"

Then he did something that shocked the hell out of Shuichi. Yuki pulled Shuichi closer to him and his lips crashed down on Shuichi's. Shuichi's eyes widened, he didn't resist because he was too surprised to do so.

Yuki was practically sucking the life out of Shuichi and his toungue was probing Shuichi's closed ones. His grip on Shuichi's shoulders tightened, the younger boy ws still surprised, but he remembered this so well. He remembered Yuki's touch so well, he relaxed and opened his mouth letting Yuki's toungue probe in.

The two men didn't realize what they were doing, for a few moments, Shuichi hung on Yuki and Yuki held onto Shuichi. They were kissing each other, like they were remembering something, or rather remembering the taste of each other.

" SHUICHI! YUKI! WHERE ARE YOU TWO!"

Riku's voice was a heart jerker. Right when she called them, Yuki pushed Shuichi away from him hard until the pink haired boy fell down to the ground.

" THERE you two are! Sheesh! I've been looking all over for you." Riku said her hands on her hips when she found them. She saw Shuichi was on the ground. " Shuichi! What are you doing down there?"

Shuichi avoided her look, " Nothing I tripped." He told Riku. He couldn't let her see his face.

" Oh then I'll help you up-,"

" no. its alright." Shuichi said quickly getting up and dusting himself, he breathed in, ignored Yuki and put on a smile for Riku when he turned to see her. " See. I'm ok. Umphz I've got to the washroom." Shuichi said and walked away from them briskly. He couldn't be there any longer. He just couldn't. Not with him around. His face was full with guilt and he didn't want Riku to see that.

_But what the hell was i thinking? Damn it Shuichi! That was a wrong move. A WRONG STUPID MOVE…… but I couldn't help it…._

XXX

Shuichi sighed, the whole day he avoided Yuki worse than a plague. He hoped to goodness no one noticed. But his heart was crunching up on him. How could that happen? It shouldn't even be mentioned or written or anything.

YUKI is Riku;s fiancé. Going to be husband. What the hell was he doing? He couldn't blame Yuki. But that guy ascended on Shuichi first. But shuichi couldn't help it. He couldn't help feeling guilty. Was it a mistake going back? Even for his cousins sake?

Whatever it is. He vowed to forget what ever happened that moment. If he could get over Yuki, this was easy.

Wasn't it?

" YO Shuichi" Hiro called him coming down to see him, " where have you been?"

" Umm here. Why? Is there more," Shuichi dreaded if he was going to go throught the rehearshals again. Hiro chuckled, " No dummy. I just wanted to look for you. Riku's asking for you already."

" Oh.Ok. I'll be right there." Shuichi said. Going to walk to where everyone was. But Hiro grabbed him before he walked off.

" Hey Shuichi….. the whole day…. When you had time with anyone one of us… exclude Riku and Yuki… You never asked us a single thing." Hiro said to Shuichi who blinked at him a couple of times. Hiro smiled, " I don't think you get it. You were always so naïve. Never change eh?"

Shuichi rolled his eyes, " I'm not that stupid. But what are you talking about?"

" About… Yuki. And Riku? About how all of us are together and yet Riku doesn't know a THING about your past relationship with… umm….," Hiro didn't know whether he should say past relationship with yuki.

Shuichi sighed, " its not forbidden you know. To talk about Yuki and last time. But I prefer not to bring up the subject. But what about it? It never crossed my mind how it could be kept so secretive to riku. Honestly. Yuki didn't even know I was related to her. But then again it doesn't matter. That's why I don't ask.Why should i? Not my place to bring back the past. Noone likes the past because of what they've done wrong. So I'm not bothered to ask or know. Leave everything the way it turned out to be." He said looking at the the leaves on the ground fly following the direction of the wind.

Hiro looked at Shuichi for sometime. Suddenly he just hugged Shuichi. " Shuichi…. I don't know… I'm proud of you."

" Huh Hiro-,"

" Last time you used to nag and cry and well…. You remember, now your so laid back and take everything so lightly. And letting everything be the way it turned out to be. It doesn't sound you. But it is you. Somehow your attitude turned out more better than all of us put together. But I guess everyone changed." His bestfriend said. " But it feels weird having you say all that. Its like. The playful crazy Shuichi is…. Gone."

Shuichi smiled, " Not completely gone. But that part of me… was buried 5 years ago." His gaze dropped to the ground. " it was time to change. I couldn't harp on the past. A change was good."

Hiro smiled, " Yeah. But I didn't know what happened to you when you were in America… You know I met Riku through Ayaka. They're close friends and Riku did keep talking about a shu-chan but we didn't know it was you. Eventhough the reseamblance is so clear." Then Hiro leaned in closer to Shuichi, " tell you something. All of us… including Touma… I guess… we're close to Riku… because she looked and acted like you Shuichi…"

Shuichi blinked. That was impossible to believe.

" so don't act like a stranger with us. We missed you that much to be close with Riku. She is so much like you. A total Replica. Even Mika… Touma… Fujisaki… so on Riku knows all of them. They didn't tell me, but my theory is, they're so close with her because she is the same as you…. That shows how much you left your mark on all of us. Your parting with us was a sad and fast one… When we saw Riku we thought oh my goodness Shuichi… but it wasn't. We miss you Shuichi. So please don't act like you don't know us. It seems like your avoiding most of us. Including me." Hiro said still hugging Shuichi.

Shuichi thought he could cry, but instead he smiled, he was happy to hear this from Hiro. " I wasn't avoiding any of you." Except Yuki. " But… thanks for saying that. I don't know if I believe you but I really didn't leave anything but misery and complaints and holes in the heads for all of you." He said chuckling, then they ended the hug, " But still good job of you guys to um… cover and shut about my past relationship."

Hiro shrugged, " Well she came after 2 years you left. And… 2 years is a long time Shuichi… so the stories died down. Besides when you left, we all had our projects to do. I'm still under NG label. I do write songs for other people. Me and Fujisaki do composing of songs for bands. Its cool…. So we didn't really talk much to the press we were too busy, and soon… you died down from our mouths. But not our thoughts. Plus, we didn't talk about you much because of Yuki's condition after you…-," Hiro stopped abruptly.

" Huh? Yuki's condition what?" Shuichi asked Hiro who didn't continue his sentence. It looked like hiro wasn't suppose to say that. At all. The other man bit his toungue. " Hiro? what?"

" Oh nothing. Nothing." Hiro said.Shit. He had to get out of this trouble. Shuichi will keep on asking and asking. Well the old Shuichi would. But whatever it is, Hiro wasn't supposed to say anything on that. It was a slip of a toungue.

His pink haired friend kept on staring at Hiro but Hiro avoided his gaze, so shuichi knew it wasn't for him to know. So the other boy shook his head and said, "Nevermind. Anyways. We really should be going. Riku might throw a fit because I'm not there."

Hiro looked up, he saw his bestfriend smile at him, " Come on hiro. You don't want Riku to call the police just cause I'm missing."

Hiro smiled and followed Shuichi up. This was a totally different Shuichi, he didn't force anyone to do anything.He didn't ask Hiro to explain to him anything. But somehow… Hiro wanted Shuichi to beat him up so he could tell him what happened after he left. It was in his right to know… but for now. Its better left aside.

XXX

" Today was fun wasn't it?" Riku who was sitting in the front passengers seat of Yuki's car asked cheerfully. Yuki was driving and Shuichi was behind.

" um yeah." Shuichi said. Lately he's been lying to Riku about how he really felt about the day's events. But his cousin didn't seem to notice.

Then she started chatting with Yuki about something Shuichi didn't bother hearing about. All the while when Yuki drove back Shuichi wondered, what did Hiro want to say? Shuichi knew it was a slip of a toungue but it brought curiosity to Shuichi's mind.

Condition? Yuki's condition after he left? What?. Shuichi sighed, well he wasn't supposed to care about the past anymore.But somehow… while he was there everyone who knew about their relationship will keep reminding Shuichi. But shuichi trained himself to be patient and laid back with things. No more jumping here and there. No more jumping to conclusions. So because of that, he didn't prod Hiro about what he was about to say.

Besides his brain was still jumbled up from the kiss.

Ugh. I hate him even more now.

But flashes of Yuki kissing him kept on bothering him. Shuichi wanted to stab himself. This was a sin. Yuki is no longer his. He accepted that. He could live without the man for 5 years without problems. So? Why bother?

" Hey. Shu-chan"

Shuichi looked up to see Riku smiling at him, they were already back. Shuichi got out of the car and into the house. The three of them sat in the living room and started talking. The conversation was mainly between Riku Shuichi. Riku Yuki. Or at times. Only Riku and Shuichi. Shuichi didn't look like he wanted to talk to Yuki. And Yuki didn't seem like he wanted to talk at all. They both avoided each other well.

" OH! By the way. You wont see me for the whole week starting from tomorrow. Alright Shu-chan." Riku told Shuichi.

" What? Why?" Shuichi asked her. Oh shit. She will be gone for a week!

" Yes! You know I work for a magazine, I have to follow this band for interviews." She told him cheerfully. " its sooo cool! I really like them! So its fun. Besides. You and Yuki are getting along fine. So I already gave strict orders for Yuki to take care of you while I am gone."

Shuichi turned pink from what she said. True she didn't know about he and Yuki's relationship last time, and Shuichi did try to push the memories down the drain, but it still brought color to his cheeks. He found this annoying. But what he was worried about is how is he going to survive EVERYONE when she is gone? He thought he could spend his time down with Riku quietly with her 'new and unknown' family.But instead he got the ' old and familiar and people who knew a LOT about him' family.

How! How!

" He's a grown person Riku. He can take care of himself. Besides he _has_ lived in Japan before. And ironically around here too. Wasn't that right Shuichi-kun?" Yuki asked him.

What the hell.

The jerk! What is he trying to prove? He was better off ignoring him.

" Umm.. actually yeah Riku. I lived around here." He told Riku.

LIAR! You didn't live around there. You lived IN there. That particular house we're in right now.

" so it wont be a problem." Shuichi said. He was going to kill Yuki. What the hell was he implying?

" Wow seriously?" Riku laughed, " well its good! And see Yuki knew that before I did! That means you guys are already on heart to heart talks! But still Yuki your orders." she laughed some more.

Yuki smiled at her and "I'll still obey them."She was sitting next to Yuki and she kissed his lips. " Your so sweet sometimes."

Shuichi looked away. This is getting so wrong! It wasn't wrong to watch when your cousin kiss another man. But why? Why whenever she kisses that asshole, why do I turn my head. And in pain at that? Wait. It cant be pain. Confusement… yeah… confusement.Thats all. It was because it was his little cousin kissing someone he knew. That's all. Just a light feeling of protectiveness over Riku.

" Alright. So I better be going home." Riku said after her smooching session with Yuki ended. Shuichi stood up and hugged her. " So remember have fun while I am gone. And after I come back next 2 weeks is my wedding! EEK!" she squealed, " So I wont keep you here for long. Besides you have your band to manage."

Shuichi smiled, " yeah but its alright. I have someone to take care of them."

" Oh! You mean Yumi-chan!. Your girlfriend" Riku teased Shuichi who laughed.

" What? No! We're partners in business." He told Riku who kept on teasing him, " Yeah shu-chan. Partners in business of all sorts."

" RIKU!" Shuichi kept on laughed and tried to whack her, then his cousin jumped and hugged him.

She went out first, then Yuki followed behind, he was going to send her back. Shuichi still avoided him when Yuki passed him to go to the entrance.

Damn it. How can I stay here for one week without Riku?... With _him?_

XXX

The next 2 day was a good one for Shuichi. Yuki went out for two days and didn't come back till late night. So Shuichi was fine running around the house alone. He knew the neighbourhood. So he went out to buy some stuff and went back to Yuki's place. Ate on his own and sort, so it was alright for him.

But on the first day, Yuki didn't bother him, he went out. Shuichi went to the nearby grocery shop. One of the girls noticed him.

" Hey aren't you… oh my goodness! Shuichi Shindou? From bad luck? Your back!" she shrieked.

Shuichi backed away, " what? Huh! No! I'm not him. I don't look like him really." He told the girl quickly paid the cashier and left. Wow. People still recognized him even if he disappeared 5 years ago. Plus his image changed. His hair was more neat.Same colour but more neat and his dressing. He grinned, he had to admit was much more posh that Yuki's.

But then again? Why compare himself to Yuki?

On the first day itself, shuichi didn't know what to do for dinner. He didn't know whether he should cook for one or two people? It wasn't because he wanted to, but because Yuki did let him bunk in here until the wedding… so maybe cooking dinner was better than nothing.

But then again after remembering how mean Yuki is….. and because Shuichi didn't know what time he would come back, it would be a waste of food. So why bother? Dinner for one was enough.

Suddenly Shuichi had a flashback.

" Shut up," Yuki snapped. Shuichi stopped bobbing with his apron. " Doesn't matter is I call you or not."

" huh? I mean if you called me I could've prepared dinner or something….," shuichi started.

" My choice whether I want to call you or not. Besides its not like I ask you to cook everyday. Your just wasting food. When I come back I don't eat it. I straight go to sleep. Just cook for yourself and that's it." He said harshly walking into the house throwing his jacket on the chair.

"I cooked it just in case. Besides Yuki now you come back late. And I don't know why-," shuichi said, but once again got cut off by Yuki.

" Do I have to explain myself to you," Yuki asked his brown eyes glaring at Shu's purple big eyes.

Shuichi shook his head to get that flashback out of his head. Why did that just pop out like that? That was so wrong. He tried his best to just plain forget everything and it pops out now? Ugh. So wrong.So wrong.

He didn't see Yuki again the next day. Which was good. Another 5 more days till Riku comes back.

Then now on the third day, Shuichi didn't go out so he hung out at Yuki's place the whole day. He skipped around the place and tried to find something to do. Then in the end, he decided to sit down and write more lyrics. He loved writing, that's for sure. He would be in the slumps sometimes, but he would be out of it in a Jiff. He was writing and writing until the ink was gone.

" Oh bugger." He said, he had good ideas in his head, but his freaking ink ran out. He looked for pen or pencil but couldn't find it. A lot of paper.But no writing device. He walked around the house. But couldn't find any pencil or pen.

Shuichi looked at where Yuki's study used to be. And still is. Everything was in there. But it was such a territorial area he didn't know if he could even go in. But he wanted a pen. Besides, Yuki might be late again today, so he wouldn't know he went in. But still…..

Shuichi opened the door and went in, the place was as it was the last time he saw it,table, piled up books on the floor, just an additional book case and some books. Shuichi went over to the table which had Yuki's laptop. He looked for a pen and found some in the drawer he opened. The drawer was full of rubbish, so Shuichi had to put his hand in to grab the pen.

"Yeah. Sweet" he said taking the pen out. He wanted to close the drawer. But his eyes spotted something. " Huh?" a blade.

Does writers need blades? Its normal for people to have blades. So why am I bothered? But the blades not the one which caught shuichi's attention. It was the visible dry blood on the blade which did. Shuichi threw the blade back in the drawer, he didn't want to know whose blood. Besides he was already stepping in another person's privacy.

He walked to the door quickly, but his hip hit the pile of standing books on the floor made it tumbling down.

"SHIT!" he said loudly. He had to clean up that mess and fast. But then again maybe Yuki might come back late. He quickly picked up the books and put it back up neatly. There were some papers which were scattered on the floor. " Shit." he said, he didn't know from which books the papers scattered from. So he simply pushed them into any book he picked up.

Shuichi and me.

His eyes spotted a glossy paper with his name on it. He knew it was protruding privacy, but he couldn't help it. He was curious, he picked it up and turned it over. It was his picture. His and Yuki's. It was from their first date. The purikura one. But … It was a sticker. Did yuki get it developed and made it into a glossy photo without him knowing it last time? No way. He turned it over to read the words.

Shuichi and me. Our first date.Annoying brat.But cute pic.Love.Yuki.

Shuichi's hand went up to his mouth, Yuki wrote this? When they were together? But...

Thump.

" what the fuck. Are you doing in my study room?"

Shuichi still held the pic and he thought his breath got squeezed out of him when he saw Yuki standing at the study room entrance door.

And the blonde man didn't look happy.

" oh YukI! I thought you'd be late again today." Shuichi said quickly. Yuki continue glaring at him. " So that meant you could come in here and rummage through my things? Still the curious fuck you are?"

"NO! I was writing some lyrics, pen ran out of ink, the only place I could find it is here, so I came in to take a pen-," He tried to explain.

" So while taking a pen you decided, hey why not I run through Yuki's stuff and see what scoop I can get on him? Because honestly," he pointed to the floor with scattered books and papers. " did you find anything you want in those papers? Like a sorry note to you or something?"

Shuichi blinked, " what the hell? I accidently hit the books and it all fell down! I picked it up to put it back in place!"

Then Yuki's eyes dropped on what Shuichi was holding.The picture. And if shuichi thought Yuki didn't look happy. He looked enraged now.

" and that just appeared in your hand just magically?" he asked shuichi slowly indicating the picture, "you're a horrible liar Shuichi. If you want to lie, you shouldve killed evidence first." He smirked, " Had fun jacking off to that picture?" he asked shuichi harshly.

" You freakin bastard!" Shuichi said throwing the picture to him, " I found it on the floor damn it. So I picked it up!"

" and decide to look at it…. Remember the stupid foul memories of us together and THEN jack off?" Yuki said venomously.

Shuichi gritted his teeth. " Just fuck off." He told Yuki and brushed past him to get out of the room, he couldn't believe Yuki was still ever so himself.

But he didn't even get halfway past the door, Yuki grabbed his hand hard.

"LET ME GO ASSHOLE!" Shuichi shouted.

" You just shut the hell up." Yuki said quietly. Shuichi pulled his hand away but it seemed like Yuki was so much stronger than he is. " no point Shuichi. Your still flimsy as ever, stupid pussy."

" UGH!" Shuichi tried to hit Yuki's face but yuki grabbed his hand before it could touch his face and before they both knew it Yuki kissed Shuichi.

Shuichi resisted this time, he kept on pushing Yuki away, but Yuki was so much bigger than him, and taller that he is.

_No! No! Yuki this is wrong! STOP! _

But yuki kept on kissing him, his tongue pushing between shuichi's closed mouth. It was getting really intense.

_Yuki! Please stop! STOP! Please stop….._

It was such a good kiss Shuichi couldn't stand properly he had to wind his arms around Yuki's neck for support. Yuki kept on kissing Shuichi who tried his best to resist….Yuki's toungue still pushing in for access to Shuichi's mouth.

_YukI! Please stop… PLEASE STOP!_

_Before…._

Shuichi's grip on Yuki's neck tightened.

_I…._

Shuichi opened his mouth, and kissed back. He couldn't resist. Yuki was a damn good kisser and if he wanted it. He got it. Shuichi could remember his lips, hard but yet tender. Maybe that's why he couldn't resist.

Did they know what they were doing? They probably did…

Then Yuki's mouth ascended to Shuichi's neck and he bit his neck sucking it.Shuichi let out a sweet moan. Yuki smiled at the sound but after a moment, his eyes shot wide open. He pushed the boy away.

Wrong. This was so wrong.

Shuichi who had a pleasurable face looked confused with what Yuki did. " Yu… ki?"

Yuki looked frustrated he ran his fingers through his own hair " Get out."

" wha..?" Shuichi was still blur and confused, what?

" Just get the hell out shuichi." He said in a low and dangerous voice. Shuichi blinked a few times then quickly walked out. Yuki leaned against the door jamb rubbing his head.

What happened? What did he do?

He heard shuichi go up and slam the door to his room. Shuichi was mad. Very mad. Yuki sighed and leaned his head back against the study room door jamb.

_What the hell happened Yuki? What the hell did you do?_

XXX

A/n : ahem… and now we step into 'M' territory. I already warned you guys that it would go into M and I warned you now. Ne he he. Oh by the way I got asked, based on manga or anime? Both. I love both so I base on both.whee, I would love to see what you have to say here --". Review sweeties.

**Dakmentalangelofdesruction** Tee hee. You'll see. **Rikka-chan** Your reviews are so warming!Muakz.**Guren** You I like! Your reviews are long and nice! Its good to have an indicating mind :D.**BakuraXmalik'sboys **Of course you guys are cool!Thanks for reviewing all the way!**Jasline **See I told you id update soon XD **sansty-san** whee! I don't like it fast either.But still its slow.hehe.**Tothinkofanicename** and **December jewel** thanks! I hope its something good too. **Yuri Yuki** Hmm?Was it awkward now? Tee hee. Between Yuki and shu I did XD. The rest thanks as well!


	10. Confused in you

In the end shuichi got tired of Yuki's crap, and left him painfully. They haven't seen each other for 5 years. Shu manages a band in U.S, He's content. But what happens when Yuki is getting married? Too someone close to Shu? Shu has to go back to Japan. What then?

A/n: I soo do not own gravitation, even though I wish they did. It such an awesome story :) . This is not my first fic, but my first gravi fic. Nee XD. Btw I very so much adore Gravitation .whee!Hope this story works out.

If your not cool with Guy-guy relationships do step back. Smiles. And this story turned 'M' so remember to find it under 'M'. Muakz. Happy reading.

XXX

The next day Shuichi didn't even come out of the room. He was majorly pissed. He opened his eyes to see the room was bright. It was morning already and he didn't even get close to an hours sleep.

_What the hell is wrong with me? I didn't resist him. I mean I did. But I didn't try hard enough. In fact I kissed him back. Damnit shuichi!_

He beat his pillow hard. Why! Why? Why did he do that? Shuichi kept wondering. Yuki was pissed yesterday, yeah. He expected Yuki to give some nice sharp comeback or better yet hit him.

But to kiss him? That was so unexpected. Yuki had more brains than Shuichi did. But yet Yuki kissed shuichi first and two times!. And at those two times, Shuichi kissed him back. It was so hard to resist him. So, so hard. Shuichi didn't know what to do; he pushed Yuki away from his mind ages ago, but now... now being in the same room triggers him off. Whether he felt pissed or happy when Yuki is in the room, that man still triggered his feelings.

And that was dangerous, Shuichi didn't want the wall he built around him because of Yuki to break down and fall because of the man himself. For his sake and for Riku's.

When he thought about his cousin, shuichi buried his face in the pillow. How could he even touch him? He was Riku's! And Shuichi loves Riku and to even touch Yuki… brought huge guilt over him… But ironically… Shuichi didn't really regret the kiss. Guilt… yes. But regret?

He punched the pillow again. Was it that he wanted to kiss Yuki as well? He missed the taste… he could remember it but all of this was so wrong. Yuki is an asshole. Yuki is Riku's. Yuki made me this way.

He gritted his teeth. It was all because of Yuki. And now when his life is on course the freaking bastard had to do this.

"I hate you Eiri Yuki." Shuichi said in the room.

XXX

That morning Yuki didn't go out. He was in the study room typing his story on the laptop. But nothing was getting into his head. His mind kept flashing back to what happened last night. He took off his glasses and rubbed his brown eyes. It was impossible to think like this. Stupid and impossible.

He himself couldn't understand why he made a move on Shuichi twice. TWICE! In a day. Have you no shame Yuki? He thought. What was wrong with him?

Lately he's been having flashbacks of what used to happen. He hated this side of him. He could push out a memory and then when it comes back it hits him in the face HARD.

Just like the memory of Yuki Kitazawa… he pushed it to the back of his brain and when he remembered it again it whacked him in the face until he bled. But that was killing. Obviously it'd hit like a hurricane to think about it. But … Shuichi? Why did all the memories involving Shuichi come back to him now?

And instead of feeling hurt like how he did with the memories of Kitazawa… he felt more… calm. So calm that he wanted to kiss Shuichi… was it because he wanted to relive what he lost? That's why he kissed Shuichi?

_Fuck it… Yuki you're getting too corny even for your mind to handle._

No. Can't be. He was the one who pushed Shuichi away. So why was he harping on it now? Besides he was content with Riku. She's a nice undemanding person. Perfect for him. But he somehow didn't feel guilty about kissing Shuichi…. Maybe the boy was right. He _is_ heartless. But he has feelings for Riku… He didn't know it was love. In fact he still didn't know if he could love.

XXX

It was already night, and Shuichi didn't come out of his room. He was so angry he just didn't want to go out when Yuki was around. But he was soo hungry and Shuichi can't hold in his hunger. But he didn't want to see that bastards face. He'd rather starve in here.

But then again wasn't he being childish about this? This is sooo 'shuichi'. He sighed. He was drawing on a piece of paper.

"I talk about myself like I'm not Shuichi," he said to the empty room. He was drawing two people. True Shuichi changed a lot after he came out of his near death experience. After sometime getting back his health with the help of Riku he got up and built his life. He was so very content with his life.

Manager for a famous band, a wanted lyrics writer, Rich, tried his best to remain in the background, good looking, nice….

All great… but somehow something was so hollow inside of him… something was missing. Shuichi sighed, on the paper he was drawing he drew a few music notes. Now he was feeling tired, he didn't eat since morning, he lay his head down on the table and slowly drifted off. Indeed in his perfect life something was missing, he went home everyday for the past how many years to find it empty, did he miss someone's company? But it was his own fault he never went out on a date.

_I don't want to get hurt again…. That's all._

It's all his fault. That idiots fault. But I can't keep blaming him for everything. But after yesterday I have every right to burn his house down.

Knock, knock…

Someone knocked on the door but Shuichi was so caught up in his thoughts of burning Yuki's house and Yuki himself, he didn't notice someone knocking on the door. His eyes were slowly closing.

KNOCK, KNOCK.

The knocks on his door became a notch louder.

"SHUICHI ARE YOU IN THE THERE? OPEN THE DAMN DOOR!"

Yuki's voice on the other side of the door jerked shuichi up. "Huh?" he looked at the door. "Yuki?" he blinked.

Yuki kept on banging on the door, "Idiot! Are you even alive! Open the door ass!"

Shuichi pursed his lips and ignored the banging on the door. What the hell does he want banging on the door? Can't he just go away? Why is he doing this?

Was he… was he worried?

"Open the bloody door or I will bloody bang it open and whack it on your face." Yuki said loudly.

Or not.

Shuichi gritted his teeth, he doesn't understand Yuki and he never will but right now that man was getting on his nerves. "GO the fuck away man. What the hell do you want now!"

He asked opening the door, the knocking was getting too annoying.

When he opened the door he saw Yuki's handsome face looking annoyed. Shit. Why the fuck was his heart beating so fast? It was so weird. His heart began beating so madly when he sees his face. Was this the first time he noticed? Because it happened all the while since he came back to Japan. Ugh. He needed to exercise, breathing problem probably.

"Heh. Alive. I thought you were dead lying on the floor rotting. So what's the point of not coming out of your room at all and not eating?." The smug writer asked

UGH! Ass. "Look. That's none of your business so just go away." Shuichi said closing the door, but Yuki's hand held it so it wouldn't close. Shuichi tried to push it harder again but Yuki just held it with one hand and it still didn't close. "ARGH! You evil shit what the HELL do you want!"

Yuki raised his brows, ": didn't you tell Riku that if you don't eat you will get gastric or some shit of the same sort?"

Huh? Huh?

Shuichi didn't say anything. Then Yuki rolled his eyes, "idiot. I asked you a question. But since you're not really that fast to answer my question I take that as a yes. You know the first day you came to Japan you fainted lack of food? You're such an idiot."

"Where are you getting at!" Shuichi asked shouting, "What? What? Instead of banging my door down and telling I'm such an idiot? YES I will get drowsy if I don't get enough of food. YES I will faint. YES I'll get some gastric shit. YES I'm an idiot. What ELSE do you want to hear? Any more shitty remarks about me?" Shuichi couldn't stand Yuki at all he was being such a bastard he couldn't keep his mouth shut.

But all Yuki did was shove his hands in his pockets and said, "Get your coat."

"Huh?" shuichi was puzzled. "What?"

"Get your bloody coat is that so hard to understand? We're going out." Yuki said turning away.

What the hell….

"Going out? With you? Please. NO way. I'm not hungry." Shuichi said, how could they both go out?

Yuki turned to look at him now, "Shuichi just… just don't piss me off. I'm just going to go have dinner. There's no food. And if you die in that room Riku will kill me. Just get your damn coat and go out for dinner. Just do that easy task." He said and walked down.

Shuichi blinked a million times. What the hell was that? Yuki just asked him to dinner. Not a date, but because he was worried that he would faint again if he didn't eat? Nah. Its cause he's scared of Riku if she comes back and finds shuichi below level of Healthy she'd kill him. He sighed and took his coat, well if he didn't go Yuki might take the door and whack it on his head, so he might as well. Besides Shuichi was damn hungry.

XXX

MUNCH, MUNCH. GULP. GLOMP, GLOMP.

"….. And you said you weren't hungry," Yuki shook his head as Shuichi ate practically everything on the table. The pink haired boy glared at Yuki.

"I wasn't hungry just now. Now I am, "He said. They ate in silence most of the time Shuichi just tried his best to ignore the other man was there. But it was pretty hard because no one else could ignore him. Yuki didn't eat much though, he barely touched his food. And it was so very awkward being in a restaurant eating with him. He ignored his beating heart.

But he couldn't ignore what was in his mind now. He was thinking back to 5 years ago when he and Yuki used to go out for a date or two to eat. He bit his lip why was he thinking about that now? He hated Yuki, but then the memories keep flowing back to him whenever he was around Yuki. This is bad.

"So how is New York and Your band?" Yuki asked suddenly, shuichi looked at Yuki.

He asked a decent question. Was he being nice?

"Its alright. New York is ok. My bands alright. Doing fine. Pretty famous in America going worldwide I guess. They reached Japan's ears which is good." Shuichi told Yuki. Maybe it wasn't right being mean to Yuki and making him the culprit, why can't I talk to him like I talk to a normal person? I usually am nice to everyone but when it comes to Yuki, I just cant, maybe I can try now.

Yuki nodded, Was he even interested, "surprising actually you becoming a manager. A Singer yes but manager?"

Shuichi shrugged, "why is it a problem? Am I not smart enough to be a manager? Everyone keeps prodding me on that even Hiro. Like how? And why? And Whoa!" Shuichi shook his head, it was annoying but he WAS capable of doing something good right? He could grasp responsibility well.

"I didn't say your not smart enough to be one. I just meant … don't you like singing? Did you ever make a single there?" the blonde man asked.

Okay this was getting civil Shuichi thought. But why not? He couldn't fight with Yuki forever. And why should he fight? Because of what happened last time? No. That was being childish and its like holding a grudge, he was glad Yuki started the conversation.

"Sing? Umm no. I do love singing, that why I'm still in the music business just not me singing. I didn't want the publicity and I didn't want my face all around magazines." He laughed slightly, "But no. I didn't want to sing…." Shuichi's eyes fell to the ground.

_And with reason I didn't want to sing. But as if I want to remember and tell you why._

Yuki raised his brows; he knew Shuichi wasn't telling him WHY exactly he didn't want to sing. But why does he want to know? In fact why the hell did he bring them both out here to eat? Wasn't there food at home? For goodness sake he's asking Shuichi about his life in New York. It was just a friendly gesture. Right?

"Anyways you still writing?" Shuichi's turn to ask Yuki. Yuki nodded, "yeah."

"Still famous?" Shuichi said smiling when he saw a few girls pointing at Yuki's way. Yuki was still so famous no matter why, if not his writing, it's his looks. No wonder Riku fell for him.

Yuki's heart leaped. Shuichi's smile. It didn't reach his eyes yes, but his smile…. it was just a stupid smile, but somehow it impacted on Yuki's heart.

_Like it always used to…_

Yuki jerked out of his thoughts, why was he thinking this way? It was impossible he didn't have feelings for Shuichi anymore. At all. 5 years is a long time to keep everything good and buried.

Yuki turned away, what was wrong with him? What, what? And what the fuck is the guy on stage singing like a pig being stuffed with potatoes?

Then before he knew what he was doing he turned to Shuichi, "Shuichi. Save me and the whole lot of people in the place by going up there and sing."

Shuichi who was eating spat his food back out, "WHAT? No! Let the guy sing. He's fine up there." the guy sang out of tune, shuichi flinched. That was bad music even for some people. Yuki leaned back against his chair.

"Why Shuichi-kun. Scared? Cant sing anymore?" Yuki mocked him. Shuichi glared at him and just when he thought Yuki was being nice, he was back to mocking and pissing him off.

"No I'm not scared asshole." Shuichi said, he hated it when people called him a coward. He looked back up at the stage, true he missed the stage but with Shining Glow he didn't miss anything in the music world... he was just missing the feeling of being up there. It was tempting because this wasnt New York. And this place was small, he doubt if anyone in there knows him right? Bad Luck was 5 years ago. Plus everyone thinks Shuichi Shindou is dead somewhere in the ditch.

"Come on, if your not scared go up there and sing. If you want it in any better way. Why don't I bet you go up there, if you don't freeze or stutter I pay for dinner." Yuki said.

Shuichi looked at him, " You mean you brought me out and wanted ME to pay! What the hell is wrong with you!". Yuki smirked, "you're the one who ate a lot. If you go up there and sing I'll pay. But of course if you go up there and sing like crap... like you always do, I won't pay. Got it?"

Shuichi glared at him, "You're a born bastard Yuki Eiri." And in the end he stood up, ad walked up the stage. Shuichi did sing with his band members just to teach them the tempo and all but not on stage. It's been some time. But why was he going up there now? It wasnt because of who should pay the bill, it s because he wanted to show Yuki he could still sing, that and he really had an urge to go up there and sing.

Maybe he should just go back and sit down. He can pay for the bill no problem, but before he could turn back he was already on stage and everyone was clapping. Oh shit. Shuichi thought of running down but then he saw Yuki at their table he was smirking. Ugh. Bloody smug face, shuichi thought I'll slap that face.

Then someone ran up on the stage, "hey mister, what do you want to sing?" the man asked. Shuichi looked at him, "uh... uh..." he couldn't think, he didn't know what to sing. " ahh look never mind" the guy said, " we'll just put something random and you just sing it yeah?" before shuichi could protest the guy ran down and put the song.

He hoped it wasnt something he couldn't sing. Or something dumb. Then the intro played. Shuichi was trying to figure out the song and he nearly died when he finally recognized the song. He wished the earth would just swallow him up. WHOLE!

He bit his lip, how was he going to sing this song? Oh god help him now. A few people cooed when they heard the intro it was a famous old song. Okay correction famous old LOVE song. He didn't even want to look at Yuki. He must be laughing or smirking his ass of now. Of all songs why this one?

Oh, my love, my darling  
I've hungered for your touch  
A long, lonely time  
And time goes by so slowly  
And time can do so much  
Are you still mine?

I need your love,  
I oh I need your love  
God speed your love to me

Shuichi sang the song in a beat, everyone blinked, not everyone could sing this song so steadily like that. His voice was perfect for this song; everyone was mesmerized by his voice. He didn't go out of tune. He didn't make any close their ears. And he didn't make Yuki smirk… he made Yuki gape.

Shuichi seemed lost in the song, once he sang he didn't think what other people thought. He was in the moment and he just sang. But one thing was on his mind. And it wasn't a good thing.

Lonely rivers flow to the sea, to the sea  
To the open arms of the sea  
Lonely rivers sigh, wait for me, wait for me  
I'll be coming home, wait for me

Oh, my love, my darling  
I've hungered, hungered for your touch  
A long, lonely time  
And time goes by so slowly  
And time can do so much  
Are you still mine?

Everyone who was with a partner there held each other and thought, this guys voice is awesome! They were enjoying him. Yuki who was sitting at the table gaped at Shuichi, he was still as good as ever, but Yuki never heard the boy sing an old ballad before. This is the first time and he sang it beautifully.

Yuki shook his head, he was getting a minor headache and it wasn't the alcohol he was drinking. It wasn't only Shuichi's voice it was the song and the way he sang it. He didn't sing it bluntly…. He sang it with… feeling….

But why he, Yuki Eiri bothered to think about this? About how Shuichi sang it? He was looking at the Shuichi without knowing he was staring at him for so long.

I need your love,  
I oh I need your love  
God speed your love to me

(adapted: Unchained Melody, Righteous brothers)

The ending was beautiful, Shuichi sang it at high pitch but it didn't hurt anyone's ears, once he was done everyone in the place clapped and cheered on Shuichi. Shuichi who closed his eyes during part of the song opened it slowly, his eyelids still closing half of his eyes, he could see everyone clapping for him, he was surprised everyone liked his singing. But he was most surprised when he saw Yuki not smirking, but staring at him with such confused meaningful eyes.

XXX

"That was so weird." Shuichi said to Yuki when they were walking down the waterfront to Yuki's car which was parked the other side. They were silent since Shuichi came down after singing. Yes. Yuki paid for the dinner after that they went out and were silent since then on. But Shuichi couldn't stand the silence. Not even a wow. Or a not bad. Or a, that sucked from Yuki. Why? He usually gives good and bad comments.

"I didn't know I could still sing." Shuichi said half laughing, it was true he didn't know he could jump into an old powerful song and hit it off. Yuki had his hands in his pockets. He was still quiet. Shuichi sighed. What's up with him? Well… walking back in silence isn't a problem…

"You still can sing." Yuki said breaking the awkward silence, Shuichi looked up at him, "It wasn't surprising. You might not sing anymore but that doesn't mean you lost it in you. So don't act surprised you can pull off a song like that."

Shuichi rolled his eyes, and just when he thought Yuki was being nice, he just decided to ram those thoughts down.

"Yeah well… anyways… I miss singing. But I'd still rather not be on stage. And I don't want to sing again." Shuichi said. Truthfully… when he was singing that song he put a lot of emotions in it. That's why he didn't want to sing. Once he started, he'd put emotions in it. And that wasn't really a good thing to him. He'd rather manage a band than sing in one.

"Why not?" Yuki asked, "If I recall singing was your life,"

Shuichi stopped. Yes singing was his life. When Yuki was in it. There was one time Shuichi told Yuki Singing was his life… because he made Yuki part of his life. Yuki and music put together is better than anything. That time he loved singing and he loved Yuki. Both are his life, when he lost Yuki, he lost the urge to sing… after he parted with Yuki, he didn't bother singing… he didn't have the passion to do that anymore.

Why did Yuki point that out? Did he want Shuichi to remember? Did he want shuichi to remember why he stopped singing? Why he left Japan?

Did he want shuichi to remember how much pain Yuki caused him? Why? WHY!

Yuki didn't know Shuichi stopped walking, when he noticed the other boy didn't answer, he turned to look at Shuichi who was standing in one place. "And your problem now is?"

Shuichi looked up at Yuki; he had a troubled look on his face. Yuki frowned. "What the hell is wrong with you now?"

"No... Nothing" shuichi said and started walking again. What was wrong with him, why did his heart beat when Yuki stared at him just now? Why was he surprised AND happy when Yuki was looking at him in the bar? Why was he hurting when he remembered the past which he supposedly buried? What was wrong with him?

"Wait." Yuki grabbed Shuichi's hand. Shuichi jerked back from Yuki's touch like it stung him.

"Yuki… just do me a favor and don't… don't touch me. Alright?" Shuichi told him, Shuichi just couldn't let Yuki touch him… he didn't know why. Or rather… he knew what was going to happen to him if he did.

The blonde man looked at Shuichi, his eyes sarcastic and cold "Now why is that Shuichi, why cant we touch? Are you sensitive or something?" He smirked harshly "or... is it, you are still harping on yesterday? Excuse me if you think it is going to happen again, because it wont. You are to much off a dreamer"

Shuichi looked up, his beautiful purple eyes burning, " Know what? You're an asshole Yuki."

Yuki shrugged, " I've heard that too much to be so ticked by it."

" Fucking asshole. I just don't understand how a nice girl like Riku get stuck with you. Where the hell did she go wrong!" Shuichi asked loudly to Yuki who stared back. Yuki walked towards Shuichi slowly. The younger boy backed a little. What was up with this man?

" Don't make me sound like I'm some kind of low down creature that your cousin cant marry. You little shit." Yuki said coming closer and closer to Shuichi. Shuichi backed off a little, why was Yuki suddenly like that? What was Yuki's motives? It was like Yuki LOVED hurting Shuichi and tormenting him. That Shuichi didn't mind, but the touching… the kissing. What was that about? Was it because Riku wasn't there? He needed someone to lust on?

No… cant be… the day In the park? Riku was there… Or was it just plain that Yuki cant resist him?

That is soo unreal, shuichi thought. He wanted to laugh but having Yuki ascend to him closer and closer it was kind off scary.

" I don't like people putting me down. Let alone by people like you." Yuki said to Shuichi.

Shuichi gave him a sweet smile, " I don't know what you mean by people like me. But its people like you that deserves putting down.. ne? yuki?" he mocked the other man. And was proud of it. Yuki needed all the jabbing he could get.

Yuki clenched his jaw,Shuichi saw that he wasn't happy with what he said. Well. Tough luck.

Suddenly Yuki's hand went up and grabbed Shuichi's chin hard, Shuichi tried to pull or turn his face away but Yuki was far too strong.

" You know Shuichi…. Your mouth has become sharper these past few years. America really mended you didn't it?" his brown eyes which was blazing now dropped form his eyes to shuichi's mouth. " its very kissable as well. More than last time."

Shuichi wanted to run away. But he wanted to stay as well, it was horrible what Yuki was doing to him, it was like Yuki was breaking down his tight built up wall and making Shuichi weak again. But shuichi wouldn't let that happen. But… now?

" Very sweet and kissable…" Yuki said in thought out loud and his lips went down to Shuichi's. NO…. not again, shuichi thought, but whatever he drank just now didn't give him the strength to fight. But it was surprising it gave him the strength to kiss Yuki back.

The feeling was so familiar and so good. Yes so sinful and wrong to each other and to other people.

Shuichi's palms went up to Yuki's blonde hair and he spread his fingers on it and gripped it when Yuki's sweet playful toungue licked and ran across Shuichi's pink lips. Yuki's hand went around the slim boy's waist. And kissed deeply some more.. it couldn't be dubbed as a passionate one… but more of a hungry one… like yesterday.

_What was Yuki's motives…. He touches me like he cant resist me… and I him… that wasn't my plan. My five year plan of totally forgetting him is falling. It cant be right._

Shuichi's eyes were half closed savouring Yuki's kiss. It was so good. Shuichi hadn't kiss like this since…. Since the day he left Yuki.

All they did when shuichi came back was fight. Now they were kissing, what the hell is going on? And didn't he feel guilty? Riku…

It was like at the same time the both of them had her in each of their minds,this time Yuki didn't push shuichi away he just held him a distance away but still holding his shoulder.

Shuichi looked at Yuki through purple misty confused eyes, Yuki was catching his breath from the kiss. Shuichi didn't understand Yuki at all. He needed to ask, he cared about Riku too much to be doing all this eventhough its unintentional.

Shuichi chocked out,"How can you do this, how can you be with Riku if all you do is hit on me... Kiss me like you still want me?." Shuichi was too unbalanced to think so far he needed Yuki to answer. So far they kissed a lot of times this week and its frustrating. " Whats your game Yuki? Right now I don't understand you. Your screwing me up…" he said in a low soft voice. His resources were falling. He noticed, the more Yuki touched him, the more he wanted it. And the more his stone walls will break and fall. Didn't he build it strong enough?

Yuki finally looked up at Shuichi he looked confused as well, he shook his head.

" Trust me, this isn't what I planned to do when I brought you out."he explained slowly. " it isn't supposed to be like this. When you came it was supposed to be alright… then you fucking twerp had to faint. And Riku had to let you stay at my place. I don't mind you stay out of my way and I yours… but…," his eyes shifted to the ground, his hands were still on Shuichi's shoulders it was slowly slipping off. " But you just didn't do that. You had to be everywhere I am. And piss me off…. I just… I don't understand…" his left hand went to his mouth, he was confused with the situation as much as Shuichi.

He looked so confused and vulnerable Shuichi couldn't help it, shuichi's heart couldn't help melting…. Before Yuki's other hand slipped of shuichi shoulder,he grabbed it and winded his fingers through his. Yuki looked at Shuichi frowning.

"what are you-," he started.

But Shuichi brought his hand which was entangled with Yuki to his mouth and kissed it, " I don't know what I'm doing but your confusing me too much to look at sense. So just…. Just…" his huge purple eyes looked up at him,

"Kiss me."

XXX

a/n: HAHHAAH. Okay I just had to do that. Wow.. this must be the longest update. Listen guys I had writers block. It was bad. And I think this chapter was bad? Was it? WAAA (cry). Anyways…. I had to put a soppy song… I think I'll put more soppy songs to make myself happy. He he he he he he. Anyways the next chapter will be up REAL soon. Cause there's a continuation to this one…. I split it into 2 because I thought this chap was TOO damn long. Argh. And if I put some fluff… it'll be EXTRA long. Blah. So wait up : ) ( grin, grin grin.) Next chap will be a lil lemon… okay I'm bad at lemon just to forewarn you guys on it. By the way note that I am horrible in writing 'titles' for every chapter as well. He he XD.

By the way I love my lovely beta reader,** Angeldean**. Muakx. Thanks for helping me out darling. And to **Suzaku koi** for providing me with the new Volume 2 Gravitation. I looveee youuuu Onee-chan!

**Guren **Your like the coolest! **Darkmetalangelofdestruction** tee hee Yuki is like that isn't he? Gotta love him. **Ccsbrat** You get a lot of praising from me XD and for the singing thing you got to stay to see eh?lol **XXXLetsdreamforeverXXX** and **Tothinkofanicename **and** Rikkachan **and OH my goodness you three make me soo happy by saying that!I like I like! **Santsy-san **Yaro Yuki indeed!lol **jasline **and **infinite Ryen** Yeaps..dangerous!hehe.JAS your mail ;). **Masterchieflover** Your review…me happy… I like tatsuha.. let me slot him in, hes important too you know ;). **Touma4me **LOL thank youuu! And your giving me ideas :P whacks and next chapter… something… something XD. **Pandorazellas **huggles and smoochies. He he!

To all the other reviewers I appreciate you guys. Thanks! Keep on reviewing to make me happy.(skips in the meadows.)


	11. Do i want you?

A/n: I soo do not own gravitation, even though I wish they did. It such an awesome story :) . This is not my first fic, but my first gravi fic. Nee XD. Btw I very so much adore Gravitation .whee!Hope this story works out.

If your not cool with Guy-guy relationships do step back. Smiles. And this story turned 'M' so remember to find it under 'M'. Muakz. Happy reading.

P.s: I am awful at writing lemon…argh. I try I really do try.

**XXX**

Yuki hesitated for a while, but looking at the cute boy's face he dipped his head and kissed Shuichi. Right now the both of them pushed whatever was bugging them and just kissed, to the both of them this was wrong to the maximum. But they couldn't stop themselves.

**XXX(Start NC-17 )XXX**

Shuichi's arms winded around Yuki's neck and pulled him down to kiss him more, Yuki's left hand was on shuichi's slim waist and the other was gripping Shuichi's messed up pink hair. The air was blowing coldly around them but the two of them didn't notice it, their heat among each other was hot enough to withstand the cold air.

Shuichi's finger ran smoothly down from Yuki's cheekbone to his chin .Yuki took his hand and licked Shuichi's fingers which traced his face. The younger boy moaned lightly. Then Yuki licked his neck, there after he bite Shuichi's neck slightly. Shuichi shut his eyes, it was soo good. So far Yuki was the first and so called last to do this to him.

And shamefully, Shuichi still loved his touch. Yuki's tongue ran from Shuichi's neck to his shoulder blade and Yuki bit him hard there, leaving teeth marks on it. His hands went under his shirt and teased Shuichi nipples which was hard rock.

Yuki smiled devilishly as he sucked shuichi's neck, "You're not patient are you? Remained celibate for long?" he asked Shuichi. Shuichi turned pink and his hand gripped the blonde mans hair and pulled it hard. "OW! You bloody-," yuki started to say but Shuichi's hands went down to Yuki's zip and unzipped it.

Shuichi smirked at what he saw, "How about you? You responded just as hard as I did…. Hypocrite." He told Yuki who gritted his teeth.

Shuichi was sharp. But Yuki could be sharper. He Pulled shuichi's shirt off and bent his head to suck his nipples. The pink haired boy moaned loudly and gripped Yuki's head for support. Then he pushed Yuki away after the height of his pleasure risened.

" Yuki… Yuki.. we have to stop." He said breathing heavily. He couldn't. He couldn't do this. As much as he wanted it…. They couldn't. Shuichi still had a little sense in him.

Yuki looked at him with his lust filled brown eyes, Shuichi could melt in it, but he had to stop this and NOW. Yuki sighed and ran his fingers through his blonde hair, " I know."

" You know! And it took me to stop you? Do you know how much I hate you? For being you and for this!" he asked Yuki loudly and angrily.

But Yuki waved his hand, " I know asshole. But I can't stop. Do you know fucking frustrating this is?... And STOP looking at me with that stupid purple eyes of yours." Yuki sighed and leaned against a tree. It was tiring he was so confused with his feelings and thoughts right now. He was thinking of riku. But he was lost , he wanted to bad to touch Shuichi now.

Shuichi blinked at Yuki, " Yuki…." He noticed Yuki was as confused as him. And no self control… that was so weird. And so…. Sexy.

" What! First you tell me to stop. And then you tell me to kiss you. Now you tell me to stop. Make up your fucking mind brat. I'm already wrecking myself thinking of this and… and touching you. The fucking wine i-,"

He couldn't finish his sentence, Shuichi captured his mouth and kissed him ferociously.No matter what either of them did they'd still continue,they couldn't et enough of each other. Besides the both of them were high and hard.

They both know so bad that this was wrong, but it was too late to turn back. This was beyond right. They both knew this would hurt the both of them and other people who they love especially…. Riku. Especially her.

But the pleasure they both gave each other just by touching pushed that to the back of their minds…. For now. Pleasure now. Regret much later.

Then Yuki groaned against Shuichi's mouth, " damn it we're in public.." but he didn't stop touching shuichi. Shuichi looked around, " that's good.. we can stop." he said slowly releasing his grip on Yuki's neck, maybe this was a chance to really finally stop, but Yuki was to aroused to let go of Shuichi. He grabbed Shuichi and kissed him passionately on his lips. Thoughts of ending it faded. They both were losing it, that's for sure.

The next thing Shuichi knew he was pushed against one of the trees at the waterfront side walk where they were. His back was grazing the tree bark and he withered from the pain in his back but more to hand which was unzipping Shuichi's pants.

"Ahh…Ah.." Shuichi tried to stifle his pleasurable moan when Yuki's lips brushed lightly against his hard erection. It was getting hotter and hotter. Yuki teased shuichi much more. His middle finger slid in Shuichi's entrance,and the boy gasped. Then another finger.

" That's only two, don't be such a limp now." Yuki said. Shuichi could've kicked him if he wasn't weak with desire. Even during sex Yuki could still be so mean. Well fuck him… that would have been funny to Shuichi if he weren't really doing it.

Yuki's fingers starting moving in and out and Shuichi let out a loud shrill cry,his fingernails digging into the author's back.Yuki could feel the boys sharp nails eventhrough his shirt.

" Yu.. Yuki I need.. don't do that! I need…lu..lube i.." Shuichi tried to gasp out but he couldn't finish his sentence. Yuki pushed his fingers hard and deep in him.

" No need. You're already wet enough…slut." Yuki said. Shuichi's knees were too weak he collapsed on top of Yuki. Hanging on him. Then,Shuichi shuddered as Yuki grabbed him, used his thumb and pressed it with pressure and rub it up and down.

" Ugh. Yuki…st…stop playing…" Shuichi strained to say but Yuki was having his fun. After teasing him a little, Yuki took him in his mouth and started tormenting him. Shuichi couldn't hold in his loud sexy moan. He withered with every touch Yuki gave him.

" You better scream at a low pitch. We're in public." Yuki said sucking him,Shuichi was ready to burst.. His hands now were gripping the blonde man's hair hard. Shuichi's pants were around his ankles now and his shirt pushed back, he looked totally ravished.

Yuki slowly stood up, his eyes were fiery brown, when he stared at Shuichi from top to bottom. Then Shuichi didn't think it was fair for Yuki's shirt to be on, so he unbuttoned it and Exposed Yuki's chest.

Yuki was still beautiful. Shuichi loved his body. Shuichi loved everything about him last time. His soul, his body, his personality… everything. But now? Was now different?

Whatever it is… Shuichi was afraid… because he was doing this… with feeling. He didn't know if it was hate or love. But both were the same thing. It was screwing him up.

Shuichi leaned and kissed his chest while his hands worked to unbuckle his pants.Then his mouth trailed every inch of Yuki's body. Yuki's hand went up and caressed Shuichi's cheek,shuichi leaned against his palm and kissed it.

But he noticed something.

" Whats this?" he asked turning Yuki's wrist to expose series of dry cuts… dry deep cuts on his wrist. The cuts weren't that visible but when shuichi looked closer it was a deep slashes… until the veins. It wasn't one slash but a few.This was disturbing. Shuichi asked again when Yuki didn't answer, " YUKI! What the hell is this!" he pulled Yuki's hand up to show Yuki himself.

But Yuki's eyes darkened and before Shuichi could do anything else Yuki grabbed and crushed both of their naked bodies together. And in one swift move he rammed into Shuichi filling him up. Shuichi let out a shrill cry and jerked back giving full acess to Yuki. The blonde man thrusted into Shuichi first in a slow tempo, then faster and faster each time. Both of them going with th ryhtm.

"Aa…aaahhh…Ah! Yuki!" Shuichi's voice could be heard around the place, while Yuki couldn't keep in his visible pleasurable moan. Finally when they both reach their peak of sensation, Shuichi cried out very loud this time piercing the night with his voice as he came all over Yuki. A little while later Yuki groaned as he released himself inside of Shuichi. They both shuddered with pleasure.

The both of them panted and breathed heavily, trying to take as much of air as they could, or they would suffocate in each others heat. Yuki stayed inside Shuichi until Shuichi fell into oblivion loving the pleasure he just had. Before he fell into darkness, he heard Yuki say something but was too tired and too spent to ask him to repeat.

For now, he decided to make it last in his sleep… before he woke up hating himself and Yuki.

**XXX(End NC-17 )XXX**

"ugh…" Shuichi opened his eyes and looked up at the ceiling. It was bright in the room now.

Hey wait… Ceiling? Shuichi got up fast, but gritted his teeth when his back hurt. Hurt? What?

Then the recent happenings of last night flshbacked into his mind like a dvd player going fastforward. Shuichi breathed in slowly at first… then breathed out… before he buried his head into his pillow and screamed the world to dust.

_No no no no no no no no no no no._

He kept on screaming in his mind.

_That did not happen! IT did not happen! Not with him. Not with him…._

Shuichi felt like crying, " Not with Riku's fiancé…"

Worst thing was… he was well aware of what he was doing with Yuki yesterday but didn't do anything to stop it. The biggest guilt was that he fell back into his ex-lovers arms…. And he was to be married to his beloved cousin in a few weeks time. This wasn't what he planned out when he arrived in Japan.

He didn't expect to see Yuki. He didn't expect Yuki to be Riku's fiancée he didn't expect he had to stay in his house. He didn't expect to touch him so much. He didn't expect to respond so much. He didn't expect to spend a night with him.

But what really knocked Shuichi out of his mind was that…

He didn't expect he still had feelings for Yuki….

Not feeling well he ran to the bathroom and started throwing up.

**XXX**

"Whats this!" he took Yuki's hand up, " YUKI! What the hell is this!" Shuichi's face and voice flashed into Yuki's head.

"Yuki…..YUKI EIRI!"

A voice jerked Yuki out of his flashback yesterday, he looked up at his brother in laws face, " What Touma? Whats all the shouting? I have a headache!" Yuki said annoyed with his brother in law.

Touma gave him a sweet smile. The man always had a smile on his face whenever, wherever. It actually annoyed Yuki. But it was normal for him.

" Well. I would like to ask you. How is Shindou-san?" Touma asked walking over to the office bar to make Yuki a drink. Yuki narrowed his eyes. Noone absolutely noone should know what happened yesterday. When he woke up that morning Yuki thought a meteor hit him, he cheated on Riku. He cheated on RIku while she was working.

Best thing was he cheated on Riku with her favourite cousin…. Damn it… fucked up situation, he thought. He knew shuichi would keep his mouth shut…. In fact, from now on he was betting Shuichi would keep his mouth shut forever. He sighed at the complicated problem.

" He's fine.Alive and fine." Yuki told Touma, " Not dead or anything. Why? Worried Seguchi?" he asked Touma. Touma smiled and put a glass in front of Yuki.

" Worried? About Shindou-san? What for? He is quite capable of taking care of himself.Plus its not him I'm looking out for. You should know that Eiri." Touma sai sitting down opposite him. Yuki rolled his eyes.

" Yeah sure Touma whatever.and if indirectly your asking me if anything happened. No. Nothing happened." Yuki said looking at Touma who there after laughed.

" You know me well Eiri." Touma said. " But honestly should he be in a hotel or something? It's a little too inconvenient for both him and you. Isn't it?" Touma asked, " But I don't mean to talk about the past, but you know what I mean."

Yuki waved his hand, " No need to explain. Its true. Its inconvenient for the both of us. But Riku wants us both to….bond." he nearly puked on the word. The both of them couldn't get along well right now.

But yesterday….. they got along pretty well for an hour or two….

Yuki tried to shake off the image of Shuichi's body against his. " Yes… but its because Riku doesn't know about your past relationship-,"

" Touma. Will you please shut up about me and Shuichi's past relationship crap? Riku doesn't need to know it. And the past is gone. Do you have to bring it up?" Yuki snapped at the other man.

Touma nodded apologetically, " I am really sorry Eiri. Really sorry I brought it up of all people you know, I wouldn't like to hurt you with the past but-,"

" Hurt me? The past didn't hurt me." Yuki said coolly. " Don't think it has an effect on me."

Touma frowned, " But your condition… and the cuts on your wrist, Eiri isn't it-,"

"Okay. Time for me to jot off, and just drop this matter Touma. Whatever happened has nothing to do with Shuichi. Whatever happened. Happened. Just don't bring it up." Yuki said walking out of Touma's office and closed the door.

Touma stood up and looked at the door for the longest time, " But Eiri….. its for you and Riku… and also for Shuichi's sake…" Touma sighed. Then someone knocked the door, " Come in." he said then smiled when he saw two people come in. " Welcome Star Productions…"

XXX

Yuki walked out of Touma's office and into the lift to go down. He leaned against the lift walls. What was Touma on about? Why was he so worried? Did he know that whatever happened yesterday WOULD eventually happen. This was getting weird.

" Damn it." Yuki suddenly said when he remembered what happened yesterday. How could that happen? How could he let it happen? With Shuichi none the less. It was easy for him to hide it from Riku. But the guilt planted in him when he did that. And Shuichi….. wasn't it enough the boy hated him, now he would despise him.

He wouldn't be surprised if he walked back home and found Shuichi packing his bags. But he wasn't completely to blame Shuichi invited him to kiss him, how could he resist?

_How? I can resist anyone easily… but Shuichi…. Why? Why the hell?_

Yuki had a lot of questions running through his mind. He couldn't resist himself around Shuichi. How could this happen? He kept on asking himself. He was getting married a few weeks from now. And he slept with his fiancés cousin. COUSIN.

" Um excuse me sir are you going to get off?" someone who just came in the lift wearing a raincoat and a hat so you couldn't see his face.

Yuki looked up, " yeah yeah." He stepped out, thank goodness he got out of NG studios without meeting any of the goons.

" Hey sir, do you know where Ryuichi Sakuma is right now? Which floor?" the guy in the raincoat asked pressing all the buttons on every floor but holding the lift open. Yuki looked at him and frowned, " How the hell should I know?"

" Ugh. Grouch." The man said. Yuki raised his brows went to the lift and pulled the hat off. " HEY HEY what are you doing? Harassment!" the man shouted.

" Tatsuha. Thought so." Yuki said once he saw a man who looked almost like him but with black hair. " Me harassment? Your going after a guy half your age… I know pedophiles.. I don't know what they call people like you." He smirked.

" Yuki you idiot! It was a disguise, give me back the hat!" Tatsuha said, then he giggled, " I'm supposed to have lunch with him today. Ahh My Ryuchi!"

Yuki rolled his eyes, " and you say I'm gay." Tatsuha stopped grinning then got out of the lift putting his hands on his brothers shoulder.

" You still are." His brother said. Yuki's eyes darkened and he slapped his brothers hand away.

" I don't know what nation your from but I'm marrying a girl." Yuki said. Tatsuha grinned , " so all feelings for Shuichi is gone? I don't think so."

Yuki glared at Tatsuha, " You don't know whats in my mind. So don't make assumptions. Shuichi is nothing to me except my fiancé cousin. I don't give a shit what you think about it."

Yuki was annoyed with everyone. Didn't they get that his relationship with Shuichi was AGES and buried and dead?

"hahah. Keep on saying that.You know bro. That's up to you. But if you fall in love with Shuichi again. All hell will break loose. And if I'm not wrong. Judging by that cute hickie on your neck if Shuichi falls for you AGAIN. It wouldn't be hell anymore. Total doomsday for hell." Tatsuha said pointing to Yuki's neck.

Yuki closed up the red love bit with his collar and hit Tatsuha's head. " Mind your own business idiot!"

Tatsuha laughed, " I cant believe you! Still the total sleep around you are! Riku's not here and you decide to jump on to your ex-boyfriend?" he asked. Yuki grew more hotter and hotter he was about to hit Tatsuha again, but his brother said something before he did, " But watch out Yuki. I'm not sure if you notice this, but even being the ass I am I know, if you be ignorant with the situation your going to hurt both Shuichi AND Riku." Tatsuha said matter of factly.

Yuki stared at his brother for a long time. What? Tatsuha said that? He made sense. Tatsuha made sense? His black haired brother looked at him as well. Then after sometime he laughed, " But then again, that's not my problem. Its yours. If you ask me Shuichi coming here is another door to opening another sweet drama. Ahhh reminds me of when I had to bring him to your so called wedding 5 years ago." He smiled at Yuki, " But that was ages ago right? Buried and dead right? Say Hi to Shuichi for me when you get back." He ran off into the lift, " See you aniki. I've got to find my darling Ryu-chan! Have fun again." He winked and the lift closed.

Yuki fumed. He was cursing Tatsuha so bad he thought he would have another migraine. What right did his brother to say all that? But worse of all… why did he make sense? Tatsuha was talking to him like Yuki was falling for Shuichi again. What the hell? Were there any signs?

He was walking out of NG when someone called his name. He turned and saw Shuichi's 'bestfriend' running towards him.

" Yuki!" Hiro said stopping in front of him. Yuki raised his brows staring at Hiro. Hiro looked up at him. They both downright disliked each other. They both remembered how they punched each other after knowing Shuichi left Japan. They haven't talked civilly to each other for sometime.

" What?" Yuki asked curtly. Hiro shifted his leg and asked, " Shuichi's at your place right?". After asking that Yuki ddint answer he just gave Hiro a ' are you dumb or something look.'

Hiro stared at Yuki who didn't answer, he didn't like Yuki, that's for sure but he tried to be polite, " He is right? Well can you tell him to come over or bring him here again because he has… some… stuff to deal with here."

Yuki shrugged, " not my problem, you talk to him about it. Not me. I don't deal with him." Yuki said pissing Hiro off. But Hiro just sighed, " yeah but you are in the same place staying. So can you please-,"

" HELLO!" a loud voice boomed on them and a pretty brown haired girl came their way. " Hello! Hiro-san right? Am I right. I am forgetful with names." Then she turned and looked at Yuki who looked blankly at her. " and you are?"

" None of your business." Yuki told her. He just wanted to get out of that place. And to think he wouldn't meet any goons while getting out. The girl frowned, " Rudeness." She said then she smiled, " Oh well, people in Japan aren't really friendly are they."

Now Yuki noticed, the girl wasn't from Japan. She talked Japanese well but with an accent. Like K. She looked half Japanese and half American. Must be K's relative. He didn't care. Then she turned to look at Hiro.

" So Hiro where is he?" the girl asked Hiro putting her hands on her hips. Yuki decided he should just walk away this was wasting his time.

" Well. He's not here he's over at Yuki's house." Hiro said. Yuki frowned he was walking away but could hear the both of them still talking.

" Yuki? Who is Yuki? And Honestly Hiro I miss Shuichi. I want to see him! We all do. But we want to surprise him too! Where's Shuichi?" She asked Hiro again who looked tired answering her.

Yuki stopped and turned, " You want Shuichi?" he asked. The girl turned and nodded, " Yeaps I do."

Who was this girl? She was very pretty. But that was none of his business. "I'll bring you to him." He said.

The girl smiled. " Thank you!" she walked out with him. Hiro frowned, Yuki was helpful, he thought.

**XXX**

" So where is Shu-chan?" the girl asked when she went in his car. Yuki didn't talk to her much at all. She was trying her best to strike up a conversation.

" my house." He told her. The girl frowned, " Your house? What is he doing there? Are you a relative or something?" she asked again. But Yuki shook his head, he hated questions and hated giving answers. The girl sighed again, it was hard talking to this guy. But she was staring at him the whole journey.

He looks familiar, she thought.

Yuki didn't bother to entertain her, he was just wondering who she was. It was none of his business, but it did tug at the back of his head. Why did she want Shuichi? Was she a friend? A girlfriend? A girlfriend who would come all the way from America to Japan? But Shuichi told Riku he doesn't have any. Who was she?

" Did Hiro call you Yuki?" she asked him. Yuki just nodded. " Um by any chance are you Yuki Eiri?" she asked again.

Getting fed up of her questions and his own questioning mind,Yuki turned to look at her with his brown cold eyes, " What is it with you and questions? Yes I am Yuki. Yuki Eiri. And Shuichi is in my god damn house. No he is not my relative he is my fiancés relative. He is just bunking at my house for a few weeks until the wedding cause my fiancés wants him too. There are you happy? Any other Q's and A's ?" he asked her.

The brown haired girl pursed her lips, " You didn't have to answer if you didn't want to. I didn't mean to provoke you." She said. Then luckily for them both they stopped in front of a nice house.

Yuki got out and opened the door, " He's in there." He told the girl and she walked in. She looked around. And to her luck she saw a familiar pink haired boy walk out of a room wearing short pants and T-shirt. She was happy seeing him after so long she ran to him, " SHUICHI!" she said loudly.

Shuichi turned and saw something glomp him up. " ahh! What the-,"

" Hi there Shuichi," A familiar voice greeted him still huggin him. Shuichi's eyes were wide when he saw who it was, " YUMI!" he said, " What? What are you doing here?" he asked he was happy to see her yet puzzled. What WAS Yumi doing there?

She flashed him a smile, " the funniest thing happened."

" Like?" Shuichi asked. Behind Yumi he saw Yuki ignoring them walking into the living room of the house. Shuichi shuddered lightly, he really thought of leaving the place but decided it would be cowardly for him to run, he could just plain ignore Yuki, besides Shuichi felt that Yuki would know better by now to stay away from him. But Shuichi didn't know if that was a good enough reason for him to stay away from Yuki. He tried his best the whole day thinking did he still have feelings for Yuki… If he didn't why did he let Yuki take him?

Yumi patted his cheek, " are you listening shu?" she asked. Shuichi nodded, " yeah now I am."

" well…. You know Touma Seguchi? NG-studio president?" Shuichi nodded, " well… he and Seiji are real good friends. And You know Shining Glow is supposed to make another album right?"

Shuichi raised his brows, " No I don't."

" Shut up. Bloody manager of Shining Glow…" she said grinning, " Well we didn't tell you this, I mean I wanted to ask you first, but Seiji insisted! And was sure you would agree but I -,"

" wait wait, Yumi slow down. What?" Shuichi asked her trying to understand what she was saying.

" okay. Well Shuichi… since you're here for the next part of the weeks for your cousin's wedding…. Seiji thought it would be a good idea to make Shining Glow's new album produced in Japan. And since Seiji and Touma are good friends they decided to make this something like a collaboration of some sort. But its still under Star-studio productions.Half of the records will be done here. The other half back in America."

Shuichi blinked a couple of hundred times seeping the information in.

" this mean Shu-chan that we would be staying here for until the album is done. Me and the whole lot of Shining Glow." Yumi said smiling. " I mean we HAVE to be near our manager anyway… to give us orders and gigs and stuff. And I heard we are HUGE in Japan."

Shuichi looked at Yumi for a long time before he got everything processed, then he started laughing. Yumi looked at him weirdly. " all…right… didn't think that would be so funny."

" Nononono. You mean I'll be stuck in Japan? Until all of this is done? " shuichi asked again, he didn't think this could happen. Now his whole crazy band is down here. They would seriously cause Havoc around.

Yumi nodded, " But you make it sound like we're going to be here for years. Its only a few weeks Shu. Until half of the records are done, then the other major half in America. So it'd be cool like we did half in Asia the other half in America!"

Shuichi sighed, he couldn't stop it, he guessed, besides it wasn't a bad thing, he could go to work here and not worry about his band. But he had to worry about them running around banging the whole place down. " I guess that's a good idea. Since I am going to be here for sometime."

Yumi smiled, " We knew you would agree. Besides we wanted to come. I mean I did… I didn't know I could miss you so much Shuichi." She said to him. Shuichi looked at her and said " I miss you too Yumi."

Yumi shook her head, " Not like I did." Her blue eyes looking at him. But shuichi didn't get her point.

Shuichi laughed, " no no I really did miss you. Anyways want to go out for lunch? You didn't have any right? Let me get my coat." He said walking to take his coat to go out.

Yumi sighed, she couldn't understand why Shuichi see through her blue eyes that she likes him a lot? But he just made it as though as she's being such good friend. She perked up and smiled when she saw Shuichi come down.

" Come on." He said grabbing her and going out. Yuki was standing nearby, he didn't hear their conversation much,but he saw the look in Yumi's eyes when she told Shuichi she missed him. She looked like she really liked him. But being Shuichi he didn't notice.

She must be Shining Glow's producer, Yuki thought and she likes their manager. It was so obvious.

" well good for him. Lets them hook up and have a nice life." He suddenly told the empty house.

But why was he feeling so tight about it. Why did he feel his chest tighten up when he saw Shuichi smile at her? Why did he frown when he saw Yumi's longing eyes for Shuichi?

Yuki quickly douched his face with cold ice water.

**XXX**

" Shuichi…. Is that Riku's fiancé?" Yumi asked as she walked down the block with Shuichi. Shuichi nodded. " Oh…. He's handsome." She told him. Shuichi nodded again. The boy didn't seem like talking. What happened to Shuichi? He didn't look much happy. And he looked like he had a lot of his mind. "is there anything wrong shuichi?"

Shuichi shook his head. " no.. nothing wrong. Don't worry." He told her. But actually everything was wrong. Everything right now was wrong he was interpreting what was going on with his heart and mind.

" Shuichi…. Can I ask you a question?" she asked. Shuichi nodded. "…. That was Yuki Eiri wasn't it? I remembered you telling me his name once. And then again you never mentioned him…."

Shuichi didn't answer. He told Yumi once who scarred him. And he only mentioned Yuki's name. But nothing else. He didn't want to tell anyone what had happened. After he told Yumi who it was, they both didn't talk about his past or who hurt him.

" ehehe know what Shuichi? Forget it. Alright? I didn't mean to be such a bother. I hope your not mad…." She said. She seriously didn't want shuichi feeling down or mad at her. She liked him too much to hurt him as well. After a while Shuichi smiled at her.

" mad? At you? Are you kidding? No way Yumi. Come on. I'll treat you in my mother land." He said grinning. Yumi's eyes twinkled when Shuichi did and her heart dropped when his hand went around her shoulder, " come on hurry. I'm hungry." Shuichi said. Yumi smiled.

Shuichi knew Yumi liked him and a lot at that. But he didn't want to break her heart. Somehow now he knew why he pushed her and everyone else… its because.. the walls he built around himself because of Yuki… is made to protect himself from other people….. but not Yuki.

That was his biggest unconscious mistake he never knew until now.

**XXX**

A/n : There… fast chapter XD . Argh. Hoped you guys like this chapter and the lemon part. (shudders) Ha ha XD you guys ask for it too much :P lol. Anyways. Thanks for your reviews. The next one will be up after my exam… yes I have another one. Another 2 more then I'm done and I can focus totally on my darling fic.

**Darkmetalofdestruction** Yeah. Ha ha I know how you feel.**XXXletsdreamforeverXXX**thanks!I hope it stays good to you.**tothinkofanicename** I'm damn sappy if you wanna know.haha.**Ranma064**Well you got the lemon…and some fluff?is it cute? To your liking? Haha! **Kawaiiearbiter** ahh! I love your review:P. **Pandorazellas **Thank you! huggles again **Siriusly delusional **I wanted to do another cliffhanger..but..argh XD at least now I don't have to rush uncliffing the hanger XD hahah. **Masterchieflover** YOU SOOOO ROCK! I love your review :P You make me sound soo…soo…. Up there (points) Thank you so much for your review! Omigosh thank you. Muakz muakz. By the way I told you Tatsuha plays an important part in the story (winks). Oh an the 10th chap. Yes.. more of shu and Yuki..sorry about that… this chapter has more people though. Haha.

**To all the rest thank you for your reviews!** Review somemore. He he.


	12. No more zero talent

A/n: I soo do not own gravitation, even though I wish they did. It such an awesome story :) . This is not my first fic, but my first gravi fic. Nee XD. Btw I very so much adore Gravitation .whee!Hope this story works out.

If your not cool with Guy-guy relationships do step back. Smiles. And this story turned 'M' so remember to find it under 'M'. Muakz. Happy reading.

**XXX**

" Akeno! Its ' I'm still in love with you. But can I be with you again?' The beat is 3 quavers beats meaning that part is fast the rest after that is normal then it becomes slow again. Its not the same beat the whole way." Shuichi said for the 3rd time that day to SG's lead singer.

It was the next day, Shuichi got woken up by Seiji, president of Star productions, early that morning to get to work…. In NG productions studios. They were doing a half an half project in Japan and America.

"Shuichi I can't sing the notes properly… it comes out retarded." Akeno grumbled, he was annoyed with the fact he couldn't hit the notes at the right beat and at the right pitch. Shuichi just kept on smiling and tapped his chin, " Try again, one more time."

Akeno sighed, "Fine, fine!" He said and launched into the beat again when his band mates started playing, he sang well until he reached a certain part of the song. He took off his headphones irritated, " No, Shuichi I'm serious, if you don't come here and tell me how to sing it I'll just whing it!" The younger boy said.

Shuichi had his hands on his hips, but he was smiling. Akeno seriously reminded him of himself, the determination to get it right even though it meant asking people help. Shuichi looked around no one was in the studio, Touma gave them this particular studio to do their recordings until they're done. So there wasn't anything to worry about. He was annoyed with himself, he didn't want anyone in Japan to hear him sing anymore. Apparently he sang once at Riku and Yuki's dinner and once when he went out with Yuki.

Yuki…..

Shuichi shook his head, he avoided Yuki like the plague and so did Yuki after he came back. The night before he went out for lunch and dinner with Yumi and didn't come back after a certain time. He couldn't go home and face Yuki. How could he? Whatever they did the night before was way beyond mistake. But he didn't blame Yuki… he was in the wrong as well and he guessed Yuki might be feeling guilty just as much. So he didn't harp on it much.

As long as it's kept between them and them only.

"Fine, fine! But only once, then you better hit it off better than I can." Shuichi said to Akeno who muttered, 'Fine, fine!' Just then Yumi came in the studio she gave a sparkling smile to Shuichi. " Hey Shu." She said, she was happy, for once Shuichi spent half the day with her, that being yesterday, and not because of work, but for company. Shuichi saw her come in and grinned.

Yumi….

_She really likes me.. she's always been there for me since we met.. why am I hesitating?_

"Control the sound panels for me? I have to sing for baby Akeno" Shuichi said walking to open the door into the mic room. Yumi nodded, "Sure. It'd be nice to hear you sing again."

Shuichi bikued a smile and went in, he took Akeno's headphones and looked through the lyrics. He hasn't sang any of his songs for a long time. While he was writing and composing he did sing but not like this, he missed the microphone, he missed the headphones he missed the atmosphere in the music room. Right when Ayumi and Rei started playing he launched into the song like it was natural for him.

" _Blinded by you Oh, oh, I'm searching for you._

_Beyond my imagination I didn't know it was you,_

Yumi was sitting outside playing with the equalizer and she gaped at Shuichi. He can really sing. She knew he could, but she never heard him live, he didn't sing much. But his singing, right now, was superb.

"Heh…. That's the Bad Luck's famous lead singer."

Yumi turned to see Hiro stand there he was, also staring at Shuichi. He walked in once he heard that familiar voice. He had this look in his eyes, more to missing than anything else.

_And it was you who made my dream come true_

_I can't believe I fell in love with you at first glance,_

_How can something so deep, fade away like yesterday?_

_Can I not have tomorrow?_

Touma walked in as he was going up to his office, he thought he heard someone familiar, and saw Shuichi in the music room singing. He smiled slightly, he remembered the boy's voice quite well. The lyrics were deep. Yumi saw him and waved. Touma asked her, "Who wrote the lyrics?"

Yumi smiled and pointed to the one singing. Touma wasn't surprised, Shuichi could write deep lyrics. True, Shuichi was a really good lyrics writer before…at times. But now, he's much better. Touma heard and read his lyrics by SG, and other people, and thought, for once, highly about the boy. Now he was just standing behind, watching the boy who started it off from NG.

_I'm still in love with you, can I be with you again?_

_There's no other place where I'd rather be,_

_Tears keep falling, and we keep running,_

_Because of the pain we went through, _

_But no matter what my feelings are left unchanged_

_Through the bad and good of our lives,_

_I followed you through_

"Touma what's your problem you weren't in your offi-…" Yuki came in looking for Touma irritated by him, Touma told him to meet him in his office but he wasn't there. Who wouldn't be annoyed? Then he frowned and saw through the glass in the music room he saw Shuichi singing…

_Even though you pushed me away and left my heart astray_

_Its more than just a phase, this love cannot be erased,_

_Cause you took my heart and soul…_

_And made it yours…always…_

Yuki was stuck on the spot. The lyrics….

Shuichi was somehow singing it again full of passion again. His let hand was on the headphones and his eyes were slightly closed adding into the song atmosphere.

He looked great.

Touma saw him, and frowned, " Umm Eiri…" But Yuki ignored him, his eyes transfixed on Shuichi. His lyrics? Were these his lyrics? Yuki didn't know if he could call it Zero talent anymore, he heard from Touma that Shuichi's lyrics were really selling now. But he didn't know how it went.

_I'm still in love with you, can I be with you again?_

_There's no other place where I'd rather be,_

His eyes couldn't drag away from Shuichi's frame… this was so weird and stupid. He wished he could look away, but he remembered how he was so vividly back then.

Touma saw his look and frowned.  
Everyone was awed with Shuichi's singing.

_Tears keep falling, and we keep running,_

_Because of the pain we went through, _

Yuki turned away and walked out before Shuichi finished his last sentence. Touma looked at Yuki walk out with a trouble face, " Eiri…"

_But no matter what my feelings are left unchanged"_

Shuichi ended lightly, his eyes were half opened when he pulled off his headphones. His eyes were looking distant, when he was singing…he just realized something…

"Shuichi! That was awesome!" Yumi's voice sounded through the intercom. Shuichi looked up jerkily and smiled at her.

_Doesn't matter if its beautiful… Its supposed to be beautiful. Oh god... Did I just realize?_

Then he saw Hiro and Touma behind her, his eyes widened. Shit. They were there? All the while? Shit, shit. He didn't like this. He didn't like anyone at all hearing him sing his new lyrics. His "new" him. But instead of dreading their thoughts and comments his heart lightened when he saw Hiro gave him a big smile and a thumbs up.

" Shuichi! You kicked ass singing that song. Our voice is so ballad! You own Akeno over SG man!" Rei said. Akeno grabbed Rei's drumsticks and whacked him on the head on it. But he didn't disagree. It was true, Shuichi sang damn well.

Shuichi laughed, "Ah no way. Akeno's great, he just has to be more awake at times. Besides I DO own SG" he winked, " So no problem there. Besides I'd never go back to singing again. Too much limelight hurts the eye. Managing and lyrics writing is more me." He winked again at the band, " Now one more time, from the top!"

They all groaned, "Oh man Shu…."

Shuichi quickly went out of the music room into the mixer room where Yumi and the rest was. Hiro grinned, "Missed your voice. It was always the best," Shuichi smiled at him, "Well that's once in a lifetime. I don't sing anymore."

Hiro nodded, "Yeah I've heard, but once in a while awes people." He winked and went out. Shuichi smiled. Hiro…. You are definitely one of the best people I know.

"Very nice lyrics Shindou-san" Touma said to him. Shuichi blinked at Touma. Touma Seguchi was praising him for his lyrics. That does not happen often, last time was at NG-productions. Wow. Even thought Shuichi was leading on the music world for his lyrics he still looked up to Nittle Grasper and it's band mates. Especially Sakuma Ryuichi.

Touma smiled at him and Shuichi smiled back. Two good musicians sharing a fact in the world of music. " Thanks" Shuichi said and went out. Touma did too and went the other way to his office in a hurry to find Yuki.

Shuichi walked down the hallway he let Yumi do the sound mixing, he just wanted to go out and walk. Even thought everyone loved the way he sang, he actually hated it. Even though he missed singing, he hated it. Cause one, he starts singing. He starts getting personal. Even when he writes lyrics… most of it isn't personal. So it didn't affect him. But this… song… this freaking song he just made. He knew why, from the beginning, it was weird. He just realized it when he was singing the song.

When he was in a corner, he leaned against the wall. And put a hand to his forehead. Before he answered his thoughts, he had to question it. Because his realization didn't impact him as hard as he thought it would.

Was this song personal? And was it directed to someone?

Before he even knew it, these answers were already answered. Even before he came back to Japan. But why? He thought. Why now? His life was getting better and better. And now?

" Nice lyrics."

A deep voice startled Shuichi. He looked up to see Yuki on his far left, coming out of the shadows puffing a cigarette. Shuichi frowned, Yuki was there! What the hell was he doing there?

" Wha… what?" Shuichi stuttered asking, he was still stuck in his thoughts and Yuki had to show up.

"I said. Nice lyrics. You deaf or something?" Yuki asked, irritated, walking towards him. Shuichi frowned, did Yuki read his lyrics somewhere or something? " I heard you sing just now. I thought you said you don't sing anymore. At least not in public."

Shuichi gritted his teeth, "I sang it for my lead singer, he couldn't hit the right notes. I didn't know there would be an audience. And what the hell were you doing there anyways?" Shuichi was actually disturbed, Yuki was there when he sang. He hoped to god Yuki didn't feel what was happening when he sang the song.

Yuki raised his brows, "Yeah sure, aside showing off to Touma Seguchi nothing else I presume?"

Shuichi couldn't stand it. All Yuki did was crush him down, what was his problem? He decided he should just walk off from there, Yuki was way beyond getting on his nerves now. So he just glared at Yuki and turned the other way to walk off.

Yuki watched Shuichi just turn and walk away, he knew the boy hated him by now. But that was a good thing isn't it? Better for the boy to hate him, then, to just play nice.

But he didn't know why he extended out his hand to grab Shuichi's hand, Yuki saw the boy's surprised face when he was forced to turn to face him. He was even more surprised when Yuki's face went down to kiss his lips.

Shuichi would've pushed him away, but Yuki's lips kissed his ever so lightly, he just couldn't push away something so soft and innocent could he? If Yuki kissed him hard. He would've kicked him in the shins.

But Why?

Yuki kissed Shuichi again prodding the boy to respond back. And shuichi did.

_Why Yuki? Why?_

Shuichi's back was supported by the wall Yuki pushed him against. Shuichi's hard walls he built, was to only separate him from other people. Not Yuki. What a stupid move that was, but he didn't realize it till late. Yuki… the one who started his happiness, and started his tormented, sad life.

The events which happened 2 nights ago flashed back in Shuichi's mind. It had been replaying in his mind since he woke up, the morning after they slept together. He still couldn't believe it, he slept with Yuki. He had so many times, he could've stopped him. But he didn't. Like now, now all he could do was push Yuki away because the blonde man wasn't pushing him down forcefully.

But that was the problem, because he wasn't forcing…. He couldn't push him away. Plus, Shuichi couldn't really deny his feelings, which were kept in him for the last 5 years.

Yuki's mouth was ever so sweet and soft. Then they had to stop for air. They parted.

Shuichi looked at the ground for a long time, Yuki was staring at him. Both of them were in a awkward silence.

Yuki didn't know what was in the boy's head. Because honestly, in Yuki's head it was jumbled up. All he wanted to do, just now, was irritate Shuichi to make him hate him more. But instead he couldn't, he just couldn't let Shuichi walk away like that.

Yuki had even more questions to be answered than Shuichi, and he didn't know how to settle it. What was wrong with him? He had a beautiful, sweet, fiancée and he was doing this. With Shuichi. This was plain betraying Riku. But all the while, all the kissing and the nights before. He couldn't stop himself. He hated himself for it. So very much. And he couldn't understand it.

Shuichi still didn't say anything, the boy looked at the ground for a very long time. Yuki wished the boy would do something. He actually was hoping Shuichi would slap or punch him after the kiss ended. In fact he thought Shuichi would push him away while they were kissing, but he didn't. Yuki couldn't stand there any longer. He had to get away from Shuichi. The longer he stood there, the more he wanted to kiss Shuichi. He slowly turned away when Shuichi spoke up.

" Why Yuki?"

Yuki turned in time to see Shuichi's head look up at him. His big purple eyes were glittering, he wasn't crying, but it was glittering. It was beautiful.

" Why?" Yuki echoed.

" Why do you do all this? You're tormenting me. What do you want?" Shuichi asked in a low voice. He didn't sound angry. That made Yuki even more guilty.

_Shuichi please hit me. Scream at me. Shout._

But he didn't he just stared at Yuki with his purple eyes. Yuki shifted his gaze elsewhere. How could he answer that question when he didn't know the answer himself? Could he just answer, ' I don't know idiot, I just do, you're so irresistible, I just had to have you… again.'

Hell no.

"Nothing." Came out his answer, he knew what he was going to say was going to sting, but he couldn't make the situation worse than it already is. "You were just around. And willing. In fact you don't resist me. Do you do this with everyone who invites?"

Yuki knew Shuichi would hate him for life, like he already didn't. Yuki could laugh if the situation wasn't so tense. Shuichi's face turned dark red when he said..

"Aren't you the faithful bastard? YOU'RE the one ascending to me most of the time." Shuichi said, " And do you know how fucking guilty I'm feeling right now? What's your problem. You do this all out for kicks," He was furious with Yuki. What was he playing at?

Yuki stared back coolly, "As I said, you don't resist."

"You do know you have a fiancé?" Shuichi asked angrily, " She's my cousin, Yuki, and I love her a lot. If you fuck around, I will kill you. Your time around me has just shown me how an unfaithful shit you are." Shuichi said, "are your sexual needs so limited that you have to turn to me? Your fiancé's cousin?"

Shuichi counter stroke Yuki. Play fire with fire. Yuki's face reddened up, as well his brown eyes pierced Shuichi. But he younger man stood firm in front of him.

"Don't you dare interfere with me and Riku," Yuki said dangerously.

"Look Yuki. I wont stop your relationship with Riku. So whatever happened will only be between us. In fact after this, lets just forget it totally." Shuichi was tired arguing. He was tired of shouting. He was tired being angry. He just wanted it all to end. " She loves you a lot. I don't know about you. But whatever reason you have to kiss me… or whatever… it has to stop. You're not only hurting person you know…." Shuichi said tiredly.

" _if you don't be careful bro, you'll hurt Riku and Shuichi and yourself. That's 3 people in one go."_

Tatsuha's words came rushing back to Yuki. Even his brother saw this coming. But Yuki still couldn't figure out why he was doing this. Sure, he was beyond guilty doing this to Riku. But around Shuichi he doesn't think of Riku. He wished he could just stab himself there and then. He did love Riku, no doubt about it. But since Shuichi came back. All the boy did was cloud his mind. Why? Their relationship was a past best forgotten.

And when Shuichi sang just now. The lyrics were…. So sharp he really thought it was directed to him. That was when he decided to make Shuichi hate him before anything else happened. But Yuki knew it wouldn't make a difference. But Shuichi hated him to the maximum now. He was just giving himself his own fun when he thought the song was directed to him. Cause it wasn't. Shuichi didn't have feelings for him anymore. And so did Yuki to him. Or was that what Yuki wanted to believe?

His confusion and mixture of feelings was getting too great. He had to stop this. Especially for Riku. He loved her…. why was he doing this?

"I won't bother you anymore." Yuki said at last. Shuichi looked at him blurry. " I don't know why I touch or kiss you. I feel guilty. True. And I love Riku. It'll stay that way." He told shuichi.

Shuichi smiled lightly, but there was pain behind it, "That's good to hear. Especially for Riku."

"Ummm Yuki. Don't mind me asking though… Is your hand alright?" shuichi suddenly asked referring to the cuts on his wrist. He still didn't know what he had slashes across his left wrist. And he was slightly worried. But Yuki didn't have to know that.

Yuki looked over at him, even through the fight Shuichi actually cared to ask about him? That boy was amazing sometimes, " Its nothing. Its fine." Yeah sure. Its fine now. Not last time.

Yuki turned away before they both could say anything else. Shuichi watched Yuki walk. Then before Yuki walked a few steps away he turned to look at Shuichi, " By the way. The lyrics. It was good. At least you stepped up a notch from zero talent." And continued walking.

Shuichi watched Yuki walk away completely. He was smiling, with tears flowing down his face. Finally Yuki said he wasn't zero talent anymore.

_But then again Yuki… What's written about you can never be zero talent can it?_

**XXX**

Ana, The MCLover: Hey! New Beta reader here… Can you guys believe how much this girl needs a beta! It took me a long time, not becuz the chappy ish long.. becuz off all the mistakes :p! XD! Love you Cryssy !

Yukishuii: My first beta is always busy, So thanks to my new beta-reader **Masterchieflover**,a good beta-er but loves to question me gah! Know it all.. But still she does her job (Hugsss). Thank goodness there are beta's so you guys don't complain about spelling and grammatical errors. Tee hee.

**A/n:** okay this chapter is shorter than most XD haha. But still long right? Anyways I think I stalled this one for sometime, I'm supposed to only continue after my exams which will be in December. But I was tempted to write it. Plus with the asking me to continue XD . The next chapter uh… hopefully soon but I doubt. Hope you guys enjoyed this one. I love your reviews. So keep me happy and review ne?

And **Kody** Yeah thanks for liking my story :P ( pats dear servant) You royal highness is happy to hear that!

**Hellstar17** oh wow thank you! You seem to be reviewing every chap you read.And seem to like it too. Yay! **Ashcat **thank you! Thanks for pointing that out in chap 2. I was thinking of that too! But I cant dind translations in jap and it made it hard for me. But thank you for liking it at last go!** Angeldean** haha! Thanks you always liked it. First yaoi eh? **Darkmetalangelofdestruction** This short.me happy. How about you? Haha. Thanks for reviewing! **Tothinkofanicename** I'm a lemon person too,winks. Glad you liked it. **Decemberjewel** You followed all the way through! Thanks! And yeah Yumi likes him. Eek! **Jasline,darkphoenix245,Sacha,engambt** Lol updated :P happy? **Guren** I MISS YOU and your REVIEWS! Tee hee! You give great ones you know that? **Lilyevanspottrblacklupin** I'm still figuring out the problem. Trying to solve argh! Hard! **Imawilburd** Ooo glad you like the lemon. And yeah I hope they were grinning! **Bloodydaysoflust **Don't cry! Please! I updated! Actually you should be proud. After your review I started writing. Haha! Thanks for liking it! And school is hectic I knowww!

**To the rest thank you for your reviews. Muaks!**


	13. Wanted but unwanted

A/n: I soo do not own gravitation, even though I wish they did. It such an awesome story :) . This is not my first fic, but my first gravi fic. Nee XD. By the wayI very so much adore Gravitation .whee!Hope this story works out.

**XXX**

_Not again…. Finally admitted to myself…. Like I always do. Like the stupid dog I am…. I succumbed to my feelings….. again…. For like the millioneth time to the same person._

_Oh god, why was I born weak to my feelings. _

"…. Was thinking about getting it done by 4 days from now…"

_Yuki…. Why did i have to fall for you again? _

" Shuichi?..."

Shuichi sighed gazing out the window, outside was raining heavily. The air inside the restaurant was cold. People were busting in and out from the rain. And someone was calling his name?

" Shuichi!"

Shuichi jerked up and saw Yumi's brown eyes staring at him. Shuichi looked around. Oh yeah he was in the restaurant having dinner with Yumi that day. He shook his head. He was being rude. He knew that spacing off while she spoke to him. He quickly apologized, " Whoa. Sorry Yumi…. I wasn't here just now."

" Whats wrong? Something bothering you?" Yumi asked. Her eyes searching his face. Eventhough she knew Shuichi wouldn't say it, she probably guessed it was something to do with his personal life. She wondered. Is it Yuki Eiri? But he didn't show any reaction to Yuki lately.

She still couldn't believe she saw the 'Yuki Eiri' who broke Shuichi's heart few years back. She had some hard time trying to sink in the fact that Shuichi was or… Is gay. But somehow that fact didn't stop her fleeting admiration for him.

"Nah. Not really." Shuichi said brushing back his pink almost brown hair, " Anyways what were you saying just now?" he put his chin on his hands. Making Yumi gaze at him even more.

Yumi smiled, yeah she didn't care, " I meant we can finish the recording in like 3 or 4 days time." She said. " by that time a week has gone. Then I think your cousin's wedding?"

Shuichi thought for a while, then nodded, " yeah… wedding…" he said non-enthusiastically.

A lot of whirring probabilities were in Shuichi mind right now. The wedding didn't help. But he was still happy for Riku. And she would never know whats in his mind right now.

Yumi looked outside the glass window and smiled, " hey the rain stopped. Want to go out and walk?" she asked.

Shuichi nodded, " better than sitting in here I guess." He said. His mood didn't lift up since that morning when Yuki kissed him. They both stood up and walked outside. They were silent until they walked by the waterfront.Shuichi looked at the sea as he walked.

His whole feeling that time was feeling so down because he finally admitted to himself. Only that time when Shuichi got dragged up to sing in the studio for Akeno did he realize why he wrote the song. And why he was so emotional singing it the most.

He leaned against the waterfront railing and gazed at the still water. Yumi was still quiet, she noticed Shuichi wasn't his usual self.

" Why…." Shuichi suddenly said after sometime, " Is it so hard to interpret human feelings?" he asked.

Yumi blinked a couple of times when he asked that. Shuichi was still gazing out.

"Like… you know? You like that person… but you don't know how to understand it. Eventhough you went through it already. But what is more frustrating is. You don't know what the other person is feeling." Shuichi said tiredly.

Yumi looked at him slightly shocked. Something was wrong with Shuichi. She knew that. But she smiled and said, " yeah I know…. I know the feeling very well." She laughed softly. " But I mean this is about you not me. So… umm I don't know really." She said looking away from him and her brown eyes dropped to the ground.

True, since the first time she met Shuichi she liked him. For 3 years…. She didn't do anything, because to him it was a manager-producer thing. And they didn't go further than that because Yumi knew Shuichi still harboured feelings for that 'yuki eiri' person.

Somehow, when she turned her head away Shuichi felt the vibe what she said was about her. Her feelings towards him. Shuichi's heart squeezed. He knew for sometime now Yumi liked him and still did…. Thanks to the band of course.

But how could he return her feelings like this? When he was still madly in love without someone else he never stopped loving?

His right cold hand went up to her cheek,and Yumi was forced to look up. She frowned, " uh shuichi wha-,"

He kissed her.

That silenced Yumi and shocked half of her heart out.But shuichi didn't seem like he was going to stop kissing her and full of air she wound her arms around Shuichi's neck and kissed him back.

_What is happening… shuichi is kissing me…._

Yumi thought, but she didn't care. Right now. The man she always liked kissed her. She wasn't about to let this go.

They kissed until both of them were out of breath. They broke off the kiss and breathed in for air. And for a long moment they were silent. Shuichi's arms around Yumi's waist and Yumi's hands on shuichi's arms.

" I… I think we should go now." Yumi said puling out of his embrace. But Shuichi grabbed her back and said, " Yumi! I'm sorry. It was random I have a lot of things on my mind. And I-,"

Yumi put her finger on his lips and smiled, " sorry? I think…. That's the best thing you did so far in your three years to me." She said then she slid her hand down and wound her fingers in his.

Shuichi half heartedly smiled and pulled her to walk with him.

So what about his feelings for Yuki?

_Screw that and screw him. There's no way in hell both of us can ever be together again. And there is no way in hell am I ever going to let Riku get hurt because of my selfishness._

Shuichi thought that as he walked with Yumi hand in hand. Besides, he thought. Yumi had always liked him, and he had been single since the day he left Yuki's house.

It was time for Shuichi Shindou to really drop the past unconsciously and consciously. He smiled as Yumi turned to look at him. Yeah. This is what Shuichi shindou needed.

At last.

Eventhough its not what his heart wants.

**XXX**

"Actually quite glad you came for dinner Eiri" Mika said surprised to find her brother sitting in front of her and Touma.

Eiri rolled his eyes, " I had nothing to do. And you leaving me with more than 20 messages got on my nerves. The longer I procrastinated to come here. The more messages I get."

Mika smiled and rested her cheek on her right palm. " Yes. It's a simply hypothesis."

Touma smiled, " Eiri, I didn't see you after you went out of the studio this morning."

Mika turned to look at her husband and frown, " Why on earth would Eiri want to go to NG-studious for?"

Mika suddenly asked. Lately she's been seeing her brother's behaviour around Shuichi a little bit odd. She doesn't even want to know if anything happened between them lately.

" Nothing darling, I just told him to come by NG. Wanted to ask him about his wedding plannings. On his Tux." Touma grinned.

Mika gave a breath of relief, " oh. So you're bringing him to get the tux?"

Eiri rolled his eyes, " No one is going to baby me. Its just a freaking tux. White black. Whatever….." he said a bit annoyed with them both. They acted more like his parents that his own father ever did. " Know what…. Black. I want black. No way am I going to wear white."

Touma gave a sweet laugh and said, " But we're following you anyway. So Mika how's the wedding planning going on?"

Mika took a sip of her coffee and said, " alright I guess. Not having Riku around makes decisions harder because it's her wedding and I cant really choose for her can i?"

As Touma and Mika discussed about the wedding Yuki's look drifted elsewhere. The wedding… yeah…. It didn't cross his mind so far. Although he knew he was contributing one single bit to it. It was Mika, Touma and Riku who did all the planning.

Riku…

Suddenly her look flashed into his mind. He didn't think about her lately. Since she left and since Shuichi came back. Was he being inconsiderate? Will he hurt Riku this way?

Whatever it is, he knew whatever happened between him and Shuichi would never leak out. Shuichi wouldn't breathe a word. He loved Riku all way too much. Typical of to care so much, Yuki thought. Till now Yuki knows for a fact he didn't care about a lot of people that much. He used to. But now?

"Hey Yuki"

Why did Shuichi have to come back now at this time. He was fine just giving himself the 'green light' to get married with Riku. She is so attached to him.

_Stupid brat messed up my mind again. Bloody brat._

"Yuki?"

But he smiled somehow thinking brat….

" YUKI EIRI ARE YOU LISTENING TO ME?"

Yuki jerked his head up to see an angry Mika glaring at him.

"With you screaming like a maniac? Of course not." Yuki said annoyed with his sister.

Mika glared at him, " We asked you a question! You didn't answer . we called your name. You didn't answer! So obviously I'd get mad! Are you ignoring me again? Do you always have to be so inconsiderate.. we asked about your wedding. Its good enough I don't say anything because you're not helping in making the wedding perfect!" she asked.

Yuki sighed and looked at his sister, " I'm tired. You bringing me here is not what I need for the night. And you screaming and starting to lecture me, will not give me peace. So Mika. Just can it." It was true. Yuki seriously couldn't take all this stupid nagging about his behaviour and about the wedding.

It's just a freaking wedding.

He stood up, " thanks for dinner." He said and walked out.

Mika sighed and sat down.She put her hand on her forehead. " what am I going to do with him Touma?"

Touma who was watching quietly shook his head, and put his arms around Mika, " That Eiri. Its normal isn't it?"

" Yes. But I thought after meeting Riku… and after everything working out. He would change. But he never did!" Mika said. " He's still all brooding and pitiful pushing himself to one side. I know he has feelings for Riku… but I think its not enough."

Mika told Touma. That was always in her mind. Yuki did like Riku. Just not enough. Or not as much as he used to love Shuichi years ago. She was afraid.

Touma storked Mika's fine hair, he didn't want to say anything about Yuki's feelings about Riku. Because he too, thought the same. Yuki never changed.

But at one time. One time at his life he did. Yuki was happiest when he was with Shuichi. But that was for a while then he went back to the old ' Yuki' again which led to Shuichi leaving Yuki.

" Don't worry so much though Mika." Touma said giving his sweet smile " He'll come around when its near to his wedding"

But……. even Touma doubted that.

**XXX**

Yuki reached his house nearly quarter to nine. He opened the door and realized Shuichi didn't come back yet.

Hmp. Which was good. He didn't want to look at him anyway.

His feelings are all twirly now. All because , " Of one brat" he suddenly said to them empty hall.

He sighed and walked to his room. He felt tired and weird. He kept on kissing Shuichi. And he didn't know why. Was it hormonal unbalance again? Mental anxieties? Stress? What? What? He had to see his psychiatrist soon.

**Flashback**

" Oh Yuki-san!" Dr. Kazukata said surprised when she saw Yuki came in throught the room door. " I was surprised when you made an appointment with me today."

Yuki didn't look bothered when he stared at her, " I wonder why. Means you don't want to treat me Doctor?"

" Oh nono! Its not that Yuki-san. But I thought you stopped coming a sometime ago. You are quite fine already." She said. She stopped giving him prescriptions 2 months back when Yuki finally let go of his past and accepted Shuichi.

"…. Well… I'm back again. Is there a problem with that doctor?" he asked.

" No no… of course not…Please sit down Yuki-san" she said. " How is Shindou-san?"

Yuki's eyes narrowed. " Long gone."

" Oh! Why? Is he alright Yuki-san" Dr.Kazukata asked.

Yuki's brown eyes lifted slowly as he looked at her, " Don't know…. Dont care….So far as I see it we're dead to each other."

**End flashback**

Yuki munched on the pocky and opened his window blinds to see the the cold dark night. He wondered when Riku was coming back. She hadn't called him, which was weird. Whenever she went outstation she would call him. But maybe this time she was really busy.

He just wanted her to come back so the tensity between him and Shuichi wouldn't be so bad. But it already reached the worst state. He slept with him. Yuki shut his eyes, and ever since that day he couldn't stop thinking about it. And he wanted to do it again.

But that was insane.

He shook his head and looked out the window. And he saw two figured walking up to the house.

Eh?

Shuichi and…. Yumi?

Where did they go? Yuki smirked, like he cared. Yumi liked Shuichi but shuichi was such an idiot to notice.

He watched them stop and talk for a while. But…. They were holding hands? What?

Then, he saw Shuichi raise his hand and touched her cheek. Leaned down…. And kissed her.

Yuki smirked, " finally got his act up…" he said. But he wasn't happy about it at all. In fact….. he felt like punching the wall.

_Fuck it man. Shuichi shindou is not my fuckin problem._

Then why does he care so much?

**XXX**

Shuichi let out a long sigh when Yumi turned to go back into her car. He still couldn't believe he kissed Yumi. His band's producer. He shook his head as he opened the door. Whats worse is that he didn't feel better about it. Was he being selfish going out with Yumi?

But in his mind, it doesn't matter, he'll grow to love Yumi more maybe. He was sick and tired of his thoughts running about a certain man

He closed the house door, it was dark, Yuki probably would be in bed or the study room.

" So, now decided to go for your producer?"

A deep voice asked him, and shuichi jumped back. He quickly turned on the lights. Yuki was sitting on the single couch chair at the corner of the living room. He was wearing a black T-shirt and his usual glasses.

And to Shuichi's eyes he looked damn hot.

" I really thought you were the queer type. But hey, going for producer's isn't a bad idea." Yuki said.

" Your mocking me. Don't fucking mock me" Shuichi said. Great. Yuki's on his evil-mocking-annoying mode.

" I wasn't mocking you. I was pointing out whats obvious." Yuki said smirking. " You're the stud aren't you? Your producer now."

Shuichi's hands balled into a fist. " Whatever Yuki. I already told you its stupid and tiring to talk to you like this. We're going to live in the same house for the next better part of the weeks. So don't ruin it more than you already have. Besides Yumi's a great girl and I thought it'd be a waste just having a friend relationship with her."

Yuki raised his brows, Shuichi really has grown up and matured in his brain. Somehow, he liked that. More matured and rebellious than ever. He stood up and walked towards him.

" Heh. Shut up brat. You think I care about her and whatever you think about your relationship?" he asked as he came closer. " I don't."

Shuichi stepped back a step, " Ok. I know you don't care. So lets drop this. Ok?"

He trembled slightly when Yuki came really close to his face.

Oh no! was Yuki going to kiss him again?

" Sure. Whatever you say."

Yuki said his breath right on Shuichi's face. Shuichi looked at him as Yuki's eyes dropped down to his lips.

But Yuki promised he wouldn't kiss him. Shuichi knew he couldn't trust Yuki. But right now he didn't care. He wanted Yuki to kiss him. The urge to wind his hands around Yuki's neck was getting heavier. He really wanted Yuki to stop playing around and kiss him.

Yuki came closer and Shuichi automatically closed his eyes, he really needed this kiss. He didn't know why, and he didn't care. He wanted to kiss Yuki.

But the kiss never came, Shuichi opened his eyes and he saw Yuki staring at him with smile on his face. And it wasn't a comforting smile.

" You got leaves on you hair." Yuki said raising his hand to flick off the dried leaves on his hair. " been walking in the park haven't you?" he drew himself away from Shuichi.

Shuichi stood there.Like a stone.

_What the hell? He didn't kiss me?_

Yuki walked up to his room then turned around to see Shuichi still standing at the same spot. A stoned look on his face. Ohhh that made Yuki Eiri smile even more.

" What? Still standing there Shindou-san?" he gave a sly grin. " Whatever for? Did something not go the way you wanted it too?"

Shuichi's purple eyes looked fiery when he looked at Yuki. " NO! it's the point of staying in the same house with you that I'm unhappy with!" he said nearly shouting.

Yuki laughed and said, " If you're mad I didn't kiss you, didn't I promise this morning I wont do it again. And didn't you say yourself you didn't want me to kiss you?"

Shuichi jerked up,he was angry Yuki didn't kiss him, but it made him more frustrated when Yuki noticed why he was unhappy.

" IM NOT UNHAPPY BECAUSE YOU DIDN'T KISS ME! DON'T FLATTER YOURSELF YOU PRICK! BULLY!"

Shuichi shouted the house down. But all Yuki did was smirk, " You made my day Shindou." He said as he laughed and closed his room door.

Shuichi's face was red. Very red. He was fuming.

He hated Yuki. Yuki Eiri was a big stupid bully.

He sighed and sank on the couch. Today was hectic.

Recording,paper work, Yuki,work,Riku,Yumi, Yuki,work, Yuki and Yuki.

His mind was full of Yuki.But he didn't care. He was happily with Riku now. He wanted it that way. And it'll stay that way.

" I am with Yumi...Riku and Yuki." Shuichi said, " happy ending" Shuichi told himself. To reassure that this is the perfect pairing.

But his heart didn't feel like it.He felt like breaking down and cry over his confused feelings and stupid heart. He needed some pocky.

He stood up to go to bed when he saw a box of strawberry pocky on the single couch chair Yuki was sitting on earlier.

" strawberry pocky?" Shuichi walked over to the couch and took the box. It had a few sticks left inside. The rest were eaten…. Eaten by Yuki? He thought. But Yuki didn't really eat strawberry pocky.

But he does now…Yuki eats strawberry pocky. Shuichi's heart gave a clench, he remembered how he used to sit down and cuddle up with Yuki and just eat pocky.

Why was he remembering all of this now? He was fine all these years without Yuki. But he didn't care. He has Yumi now. And Riku can continue having Yuki.

That's a good thing for all of them.

But Shuichi frowned.

He felt like something worse is going to happen.

**XXX**

A/n: OMG! Finally! I am back. Kinda just finished my exam. Which took most of my time away. I used to update so much. So I'm really sorry I didn't update. Exams. I had exams. Now its nearly done. So I decided to write. So soo glad to be back and writing. This chapter is long… I know. Don't you just hate me? But I had to write. Its been months. So sorry its long hehe! But this one i had to write like in few hours. cause i got exam. it was rushed. and i dont like this chapter.lol. But hey :P still made it.

And I missed everyone's reviews! And now since has put up this reply review thing I think I can send you guys a review reply. Like I always do :D.

By the way, I made up my mind… as you can see… its going to be sometime until the story is finished. Lol! Hope you don't hate me for that either . But now I can update often. So to be continued…!


	14. Kidnapped by Ryu to the Theme Park

A/n: I soo do not own gravitation, even though I wish they did. It such an awesome story :) . This is not my first fic, but my first gravi fic. Nee XD. Btw I very so much adore Gravitation .whee!Hope this story works out.

Warning:…. This chapter… lots of dialogue…and confusement… and Ryuichi 0o tee hee! … No I'm serious Lots of talk… and Ryuichi… XD lol

**XXX**

"Shuichii!" a familiar squealy voice shocked Shuichi off his chair.

"Sa..Sakuma-san!" Shuichi said while getting up from the floor. He looked over at his past idol, or still is. No matter what Shuichi thought, Nittle Grasper is the best band he ever knew. And he still thought Ryuichi Sakuma as the best singer he ever knew. Dang he grew up listening to him. Even at 35, Shuichi silently thought Ryuichi looked very good. Still.

" Hi Shu-chan na no da!" Ryuichi said cheerily. Well still the same old Ryuichi, Shuichi always thought how a 35 year old guy could get away with that and still be loved. "Sorry Kuma and I couldn't see you earlier on or anything. We'd been busy. So where were you?" he asked.

Shuichi smiled, "Yeah very. Pretty hectic actually. Now I know how all our managers felt managing us."

Ryuichi nodded, "Umm hmmm I wouldn't ever think of managing." He thought. "But Shu-chan makes a good manager." He smiled widely at Shuichi. The pink haired man couldn't help but feel happy around Ryuichi. He had that vibe. There was once and only where Ryuichi was mean and stunned Shuichi to shock. But that was only once and never did Ryuichi become so sinister towards Shuichi. The Nittle Grasper singer could make anyone smile with his over perkiness.

Shuichi sighed, yeah, that's what he needed.

"Mmmm Ryu-chan's feeling bad vibes from Shu-chan" Ryuichi said looking at Shuichi.

Shuichi chuckled, "Not to worry Sakuma-san, I'm all good."

Liar. With Yuki around. And being in Japan for long. What is good?

The both of them were in NG-studious, Shuichi had to come in to do some last minute checking before his band calls its wrap in Japan. But what was Ryuichi doing. Shuichi thought.

"No one is around to see Shu-chan. So why don't Shu-chan go out with Kuma and me. It's stuffy up in here." He grinned, "So lets go out. What do you say Shu-chan?"

Huh? What? Ryuichi Sakuma asking me out? Have I died?

"That's cool Sakuma-."

"Ryuichi." The older man said, "We've known each other long enough Shu-chan." Ryuichi said still smiling, "Call me Ryuichi."

Oh my god.

I have died yet again. And gone to heaven. My idol told me to call him by his name.

"Oh.. oh ok Ry…Ryuichi." Shuichi stuttered a bit unfamiliar with saying it that way to the person himself.

Ryuichi jumped and glomped Shuichi, "Much better! Come on Shu-chan! Lets go to the theme park? DISNEYLAND! What do you say?"

Shuichi looked over at Ryuichi, "Theme park? Wha.. why? Thats somewhere downtown Tokyo…. Disneyland"

Ryuichi grabbed his hand and dragged him away from his work, "Because….Shu-chan…" he looked over and Shuichi, " You can't sparkle enough working boringly there. Ain't fun."

**XXX**

"WHEEE Shu-chan! This is fun." Ryuichi said slurping on his ice cream. Shuichi laughed at his idols cheeriness.

Kuma was perched on Shuichi's head according to Ryuichi he said that Shuichi needed Kuma to cheer him up.

Earlier on Ryuichi told Shuichi that he did not have the sparkle anymore. Shuichi did not know what he meant… but then again not many people could understand Ryuichi. But Ryuichi was a genius. Shuichi knew that what ever Ryuichi did, it was just plain genius.

They spent 3 hours in the theme park having fun. They tried all the rides and for the time Shuichi actually forgot all his worries.

Shining glow, Riku, Yumi, the wedding and most importantly Yuki…

All those flew out for the last 3 hours he had his idol beside him. Ryuichi looked like he didn't care about the world. What was he single? Still? Whoever had Ryuichi would be in a pretty fun mess. He laughed.

"I see Shu-chan's having fun?" Ryuichi asked him as they stopped at the theme park bay.

Bay…. Shuichi looked up at the side port of the sea. He had been here with Yuki… yeah he had been here. It was here where Yuki ran away from him and left for New York thinking about Kitazawa. It was here where Shuichi felt his heart broke because Yuki left him.

Then because of determination Shuichi got him back, looking non-stop for him. He ran the whole of Japan looked for him and last found him in the states. That was how strong Shuichi felt for Yuki.

_Hey Yuki…. Did you even TRY looking for me when I left you?_

"Shu-chan?" Ryuichi called him again, "Something bothering you again." He said sniffingly.

"What? Ryuichi! Don't be sad. I'm happy! See! Kuma says I'm happy too!" Shuichi said quickly when he saw Ryuichi got sad because he thought Shuichi was not having fun. "I'm having fun." He smiled taking Kuma down from his head and hugged the pink plushie, "More fun than I ever had in like 5 years?" he said truthfully.

"5 years? Wow! Who CAN NOT have fun for as long as 5 years? No way. I'd be squirming and kicking with Kumagoro for fun! What did you do for 5 years if you did not have fun?" Ryuichi said jumping up in front of Shuichi.

Shuichi raised his purple eyes to look at him, "5 years is a long time I know. But I had enough of problems to go through. Took me some years to get my life in tact." He sighed," see Ryuichi, I had some problems…this was way back. And I left Japan."

Shuichi couldn't believe he's telling this to his idol… His idol! But he felt like he could tell Ryuichi this. He did not know what but he felt like telling him. After 3 hours of fun with the idol, it felt like Shuichi wanted to tell him something that he never told anyone about his life after leaving Japan.

"It took me sometime to get my normal life back. After um I left Japan, I did not really take care of myself. And I hurt a few important people and She….. Since that day I tried to get everything in my life back in line. Leaving Whatever I had in Japan." Shuichi hugged Kuma even tighter now leaning on the railing at the bay, "Then what could I do? All I could do was sing. How could I cope in America without singing?" He looked at the sky, "Then I met Seiji, he came across my lyrics one day when I was in a Café. I was writing a few stuff…. He got hold of it accidentally and started hunting me down. Together with Yumi they caught me. For a while I was a songwriter. I did not know I could still write meaningful words. But other people liked my work. Then I came across Ayumi, Akeno and Rei. They reminded me SO much of Bad Luck. I offered to manage them."

He laughed, "But honestly I didn't think they'd do so well even though I did my best. But they did. I was too busy bothering about my band and everything else around me. So I did not have time to have fun… Besides I was not entitled to have fun. That's what I thought."

He shrugged. Shuichi thought after he left Japan he did not have any happiness left. Then he nearly died and hurt his family. Because of all that he did really bother much with his own life, he'd rather bother about other people aside himself. He was not happy at all.

Yuki stole all his happiness and love away.

Shuichi looked at Ryuichi who was leaning against the bay railing looking at the sea. He gasped did he bore Ryuichi with his ramblings? Why didn't he say anything? Shuichi panicked.

"Uh uh so Ryuichi we should uh go ba-," he started to say and walk away.

But Ryuichi said something that made him stop in his tracks.

"You really shouldn't do that to yourself Shu-chan" the singer said turning his head to look at Shuichi who was stuck to where he was standing, "Sure you can write now. But you are not the same anymore. You say that but you're very much unhappy." He tilted his head to the side, "Where was the famous Bad Luck singer that everyone fell in love with?"

He walked up to Shuichi who was clutching Kuma tightly. Ryuichi descended his face really close with Shuichi who could smell his cotton candy breath.

_Oh my god. What is happening? Shuichi kick yourself… is Ryuichi going to-,_

"Shuichi…" Ryuichi said very near to his face.

"Y…ye..yes?" Shuichi squeaked. This was way beyond weird for Shuichi, Ryuichi was flirting…? Was that the word? Flirting with him, Shuichi Shindou?

Even if it had been a long time since he had his little fan boy worshipping stunts to Ryuichi he still felt like a fan boy. And was going to die soon if Ryuichi didn't pull back.

"Do you… want Cotton candy or Pop corn?" the crazy 35 year old singer asked happily making Shuichi faint backwards.

Ryuichi grinned and took Kumagaroo from Shuichi.

"Uh… I will take a cotton candy then…" Shuichi said getting up from the floor. And for a minute there he thought he could have died and gone to heaven if Ryuichi kissed him. But Ryuichi had Tatsuha. Eh? Are they together? Shuichi thought, they sure looked close on the dinner night.

And he, Shuichi Shindou has a girlfriend. He blinked, Shit he forgot he had one. Even though he felt right being with Yumi…. He felt like he stepped over trodden grounds that would make the earth shake because of one fall. He did not know why but he did not feel right.

Yeah sure. Shuichi guffawed to himself he didn't feel right the day he found out Yuki was Yumi's fiancée. Yumi…. Where was she? It had already been a week. She didn't even call. Maybe she called Yuki. But like he'd know…

Yeah sure. Shuichi guffawed to himself he didn't feel right the day he found out Yuki was Riku's fiancée. Riku…. Where was she? It had already been a week. She didn't even call. Maybe she called Yuki. But like he'd know…

He looked back at the bay where he once stood with Yuki.

_Damn it Yuki. You had to make it hard for me…_

"Shu-chan!" Shuichi could hear the perky but very randomly weird singer call his name, " Lets go get your cotton candy ne?" He grabbed Shuichi and dragged him away from the bay.

Shuichi smiled happily and nodded. Ryuichi was a good person to talk to he might have even forgotten what he said. Shuichi again forgot all his problems after Ryuichi passed him a pink cotton candy which Ryuichi said looked exactly like Shuichi's hair.

**XXX**

"What do you mean Ryuichi is gone? Where did he go?" Noriko asked Tohma after she found out Ryuichi was not in NG-studios.

Tohma sighed, "I don't know Noriko. I already ordered the guards to search the whole building."

"But Tohma, its not likely he'd just trod off to leave! He usually leaves a note!" Noriko said starting to worry. She always worries about Ryuichi. Tohma nodded, true no matter how genki and crazy Ryuichi was he would at least leave a note.

"Hey Seguchi-san!" Seiji said trodding into Tohma's office, " Is it me or are the guards running around a lot today?"

The blonde man nodded, " Apparently we lost our vocalist."

"Really? Good. Cause we lost our manager." Akeno said walking in casually into Tohma's office.

Noriko and Seiji in unison said, " What!"

Tohma rubbed his forehead, " Ah alright then, at least we know the both of them are together. Because its unlikely that they'd go missing the same time. Plus, I think Ryuichi wanted to spend time with him."

Akeno, Noriko and Seiji looked at Tohma with puzzled looks on their faces. Tohma just shrugged, " I don't know why. Don't ask me. Its not everyday I know what my vocalist wants to do."

Noriko smirked, " Yeah but you still find out anyway."

Tohma smiled, " Actually yes I do." And right on cue his phone rang. He picked it up answered it for a while. Then put it down, " And the both of them are safe at Tokyo Disneyland" he announced making Noriko breathed in relief and Seiji nodded.

**XXX**

"Shu-chan had fun today didn't he? Na no da!" Ryuichi said perching Kuma on his shoulders. " Huh? Huh did you? Did you Shu-chan?"

Shuichi laughed as they passed through the exit gates of the theme park, " Yes Ryuichi I had a blast today." Who wouldn't? With his own favourite idol at that. " Lets get back, people might get worried since we didn't call or anything. And it's already" he check hid watch, " Shit! 5 pm? They seriously be worried."

Ryuichi nodded, " But wait. Did Shu-chan really have fun today?" he asked again. Shuichi has to admit he looked cute wit Kuma perched on his shoulder.

He grinned, " YES Ryuichi. I had awesome fun today."

"In that case is your mind cleared?" Ryuichi asked his brown eyes fixed on Shuichi who blinked in puzzlement.

"I think so."

Ryuichi smiled now his eyes dancing, " Then…. Write a good song, a song without any problems or obstacles just like how you felt just now. Carefree and fun. Think properly."

"Wh..What? Ryu-,"

" Ryu-chan and Kuma loves your lyrics Shu-chan. But some of them, your were holding back something. Like there is a lot in your mind. And you tend to write with an one track mind. Just feel free to write. Ryu would love to hear a good happy song from you soon." Ryuichi said hugging Kuma now.

Shuichi didn't get what Ryuichi meant, " Ryu..Ryuichi i-,"

" Sparkle Shu-chan! That way you wont get confused and sad so much." Ryuichi smiled.

Shuichi didn't know but he felt like Ryuichi was trying to make him feel better. Mentally and physically. But…. Did Ryuichi know he had a lot of problems going on now?

_Ryu-chan and Kuma loves your lyrics Shu-chan. But some of them, your holding back something. Like there is a lot in your mind. And you tend to write with a one track mind_.

My songs? Ryuichi did you notice how half heartedly I wrote my songs? How unhappy I was?

Then again Ryuichi was a music genius, it wouldn't be surprising if he noticed anything wrong with his music. Shuichi looked back at the smiling Ryuichi.

_Sparkle Shuichi._

Yeah. Shuichi finally smiled back at Ryuichi. He needed to clear his mind and be happy. For the past few years of his life he never once 'sparkeled'. It was because of Yuki and all the pain he inflicted on other people without knowing it. So he didn't feel right or happy. And now with Yumi. Did he feel any better.

No he didn't. Did he love Yumi? Not yet.

Did he love Yuki?

Yes… he still did.

Could it be any clearer?

" RYUIICHIIIIIII!"

A loud voice screeched out Ryuichi name. A familiar raven haired boy came running towards both of them.

" Tatsuha you idiot." Someone grabbed Tatsuha by the collar before he got a chance into banging into Ryuichi flattening him to the ground.

" Eiri. Let me go you bastard." Tatsuha said trying to get away from Yuki's grasp.

" What? And squash the little singer freak? Tohma will kill you." The handsome blonde said letting go off Tatsuha. " We came here because Noriko called up to ask us to pick these two children up. She didn't think it was necessary for Tohma to come down."

His golden eyes went up to look at Shuichi and Ryuichi. Then it slowly glided to look at only Shuichi. " Come on. Lets go. It was actually wasting my time being here."

" Why did you even come?" Shuichi asked annoyed with him, it was true why did he even bother to come if picking them up was going to be such a pain. That's what he didn't like about Yuki. Always make it like Shuichi was a pain.

Yuki narrowed his eyes at Shuichi, " Forced too."

" You could've said no. It was that easy. I didn't mind being picked up. But if your're going to be so dick headed about just picking us up might as well I take a bu-,"

Shuichi was busy talking he didn't notice Yuki going up to him and grabbing his arm hard, " Hey. Listen brat. I ditched work and I came all the way here to pick you up to go back to where you fled off with the other freaky singer be grateful for that at least."

"EIRI DON'T CALL HIM THAT!" Tatsuha shouted at Eiri. Tatsuha was now beside Ryuichi hugging him like he was protecting him.

"Hi Tatsuha." The older man said smiling at Tatsuha who was hugging him. Tatsuha felt like he could've melted there.

"You ok Ryuichi?" He asked like he was familiar with Ryuichi already. " Did the big bad ol' Shuichi hurt you?"

Shuichi sweat dropped, " But he's the one that dragged me out…" He told Tatsuha who ignored him.

" Come on get in the car. I don't have all day. You two freaks too. Come on." Yuki said annoyed with all of them. Shuichi couldn't help but chuckle. " What?" he asked going to his car opening the door to the drivers seat.

"It's actually funny. But you and Tohma let Tatsuha near Ryuichi?" Shuichi asked. Yuki shrugged non-coherently. " I don't care about the singer. Tohma didn't let. But Tatsuha found his way around and sadly got the weird singer…and they always have lunch…ew… Then again I don't care. I'd prefer it when Tatsuha couldn't reach Sakuma-san… now all he does is talk about him. Pointless to me really."

Shuichi sighed, " Always an inconsiderate unthoughtful bastard aren't you Yuki?" he said coolly. Yuki put on his sunglasses then turned to look at Shuichi.

"Aren't I always?" Yuki asked back.

Maybe it was because of the free stress, fun time, cotton candy day he had that day but Shuichi smiled at Yuki genuinely. Even Yuki was taken aback by that smile, " You know your own personality so well it doesn't phase you if someone says bad stuff about you."

The older blond man wanted to smile at him as well but he turned his face away from Shuichi saying, " Idiot." But Shuichi just smiled. He felt somehow Yuki knew that fact about himself too..

"Okayy guys we're going!" Tatsuha's voice was heard a distance from them.

" Eh Tatsuha-kun… shouldn't we be-," Ryuichi started.

"Nope. Its not nessary… my brother in law is busy to have band practice anyways." He said smiling mischeviouly. Surprisingly while Shuichi was watching Ryuichi smiled back to.

Lucky Tatsuha.

"Okay then… BYE YUKi-san! Bye SHUICHI! Hope you had a good time with me today. Ok? Remember what I said." Ryuichi said when he tturned to wave back to Shuichi and Yuki.

"Huh? What do you mean by hope you had a good time with me? And what did you say to him? Ryuichi are-," Tatsuha started gabbering.

Ryuichi cut him off by saying, "Tatsuha. You talk too much." he said a little sternly then grinned. They walked off arguing a little but hand in hand. Somehow Shuichi found that a very sweet sight. Very. At least one of someone's happiness got fulfilled.

"God. They're both freaks." Yuki said getting in the car slamming the door. Shuichi slid in the passengers seat. "Yeah. Well I think it's damn sweet."

"Sweet? Excuse me? That's like a what? 35 years old guy with my only tturned 21 brother. Sick." Yuki said harshly turning on the engine of his car pressing the accelerator to move on.

"Age doesn't matter." Shuichi said. He then suddenly chuckled, " You can't help who you fall in love with."

Hiro said that to him the first time Shuichi fell for someone. Fell for Yuki. Shuichi could've laughed if the outcome of those words didn't end up with his heart breaking into a million pieces.

"IS that right?" Yuki asked in a mocking tone.

Shuichi sighed, he knew Yuki did not take those words to heed, because if he did he would've known how it was hard for Shuichi to fall in love with him, to get Yuki to fall in love with him, how hard it was to get Yuki to stay with him.

How hard it was to get on with life after he left Yuki.

"I don't think you would understand anyways. I'm just saying that you can't say people loving each other disgusting just by judging on age, looks or whatever you can come up with." Shuichi said a little ticked off.

Yuki did not answer to that statement. What was he implying now? Yuki tried his best to push all the raging thoughts running into his head. For the better part of the journey back to NG building they were both quiet. Yuki concentrating on the road and Shuichi looking out at the passing view as Yuki drove on.

Both of them thinking hard, very hard. Maybe about When the building entrance came into view Yuki stopped the car.

"Your stop." Yuki said.

Shuichi nodded and slid out of the car. Thinking, wow this is getting better nothing happened in the car, except for his thoughts running around the world.

But before he completely got out of the car Yuki grabbed Shuichi's hand startling him.

" Yuki?" he asked puzzled with that gesture.

Yuki still had his hand clasped onto Shuichi's, he didn't look at Shuichi yet. His eyes were focused on their joined hands.

Shuichi was confused with this, and wanted to pull his hand back, but he too, didn't. He felt something when Yuki held his hand, maybe he too, knew that Yuki had no idea what he just did.

"Shuichii!", a loud voice came from behind Shuichi.

And like electricity jolted through the both of them, their hands parted. Shuichi abruptly turned to see Yumi jump and glomp him tight.

" Shuichi! Where did you go! I was worried!" she said, " I was looking all over for you with the band and Seiji…. Who freaked out more." Her face was full of worry. Her right hand went up to Shuichi's cheek and she caressed it for a while.

In the car Yuki's jaw tightened, he was annoyed, way annoyed with himself, he wasn't suppose to feel that way but he was slightly agitated with Yumi, not that he didn't like her, but he didn't like the way she pampered Shuichi. Also, he was angry at himself for grabbing his hand on impulse. He just felt like he needed to do it.

" Uh well, I was Ryuichi… kidnapped really" Shuichi said smiling slightly, " Don't worry I am fine Yumi." He said kissing her lips quick.

Yumi seemed satisfied with that and smiled back, " The bands in the building, if you want we can watch them practice. We have like a few more days, to put the album compilation together. Then we're done."

Shuichi nodded, " Yeah… done…."

" Well since I brought the needed one, I'm off." Yuki said, making his presence known to them. At that time Yumi just noticed him and smiled weakly.

" Alright. Thank you Yuki-san. See you." She said. Yuki didn't give her any greeting of any sort and just drove off, leaving a trail of smoke behind.

" Wow, he is soo not friendly. I don't know how your cousin can fall for him and get married." Yumi said shaking her head.

Looking at the trail of smoke Yuki left Shuichi gave a small smile and shrugged, " Ha ha really… no clue… There's just something about him…"

" Riku is such a nice girl….Yeah but if you think about Yuki-san isn't such a nice perso-…" Yumi trailed off suddenly.

When she saw the lost thoughtful look on Shuichi's face when the car left.

_Shuichi….Why…._

**XXX**__  
**A/n: OMG People I am SOOO Sorry for not updating for like AGES! I just moved to Canada, settled down, now in college which has more workload that I usually have! Its crazy! And I know I haven't updated for months. And I usually update fast. But now I cant update so fast because of the time, which I don't usually have much because of schoolwork but I will try. I hope you like this chapter I had it done a few weeks ago but I was too busy to put it up. Hopefully you all like it! And Yeah I still like reviews hehe so don't be shy and review to make me happy okies guys!**


	15. Mutualism

A/n: I soo do not own gravitation, even though I wish they did. It such an awesome story :) . This is not my first fic, but my first gravi fic. Nee XD. Btw I very so much adore Gravitation .whee!Hope this story works out.

Tee hee, AHHH! I'm near its peak in this chap. Well not the peak but near it.

**XXX**

" Where is Riku? That girl was supposed to be back like 2 days ago." Mika asked her husband while they were having dinner together at a Café near NG studios.

Tohma sighed and shrugged, " Truthfully I don't know where that girl is Mika. According to sources…"

Mika raised her brows at him. It was typical of her husband to use 'sources' to find out things.

" She is still touring with the band halfway across Japan… I really think she wants the full scoop on the band or something. So let her be Mika." Tohma said shaking his head. Mika worried too much, but even he was worried. Why didn't Yumi come home fast? And she didn't call anyone.

"Even Eiri had not heard from her. I'm not even sure if the idiot calls her." She said putting a hand on her forehead. " Sometimes Eiri is such an insensitive person…"

Tohma smiled, "Eiri will be Eiri, Mika. He will come out of it." I hope…

" And their wedding is in a week's time. Preparations are made by us Tohma!" Mika said.

" You like doing it Mika…. What is the problem?" he asked. Mika stared at him.

" The problem is its not my wedding and I am worrying about it more that the bride and groom!" she complained.

Tohma put a hand on his wife's and said, " Don't worry too much Mika. Things will work out."

As they were speaking outside of the café they saw Eiri walk past by. Behind him an enraged Shuichi, " YUKI EIRI! Get back here. Listen to me you bastard! Inconsiderate asshole! Why do you always have to make me sound like an idiot. Don't you get tired of insulting people? Hey! Are you listening!"

" Go away idiot. I don't need you trailing me like a pile of crap." Yuki said annoyed.

" SHUICHI! Come back! We need you for the recording session! Shuichi Shindou!" and running behind them was Seiji, Star Records president.

Mika and Tohma blinked for a while… then a minute later…

Following behind him so casually were the band members of Shining Glow. Ayumi was shaking her head and staring at the people in front of her. " Why cant they stop,"

Akeno shrugged, " No clue. But it's a good thing I get to have a break. "

" Why are we following again?" Ayumi asked.

Akeno looked at her, " Umm… just in case that Yuki dude decides to hurt Shuichi, we'd be there to back Shuichi up… Plus, I need a break…. I want a hot dog."

Mika looked at Tohma and gave a cynical look, " Don't worry too much Mika. Things will work out Mika…" she said repeating what he just said a minute ago, " Yeah right."

Tohma sighed and sipped his coffee, he was too tired and matured to bother about what was happening outside. Usually he would butt in and save Eiri, but today watching them was just some ridiculous spat. " They can handle it themselves I'm sure."

He had way too long butted in Eiri's problems and that he felt like he was one of them to blame about their break up ages ago. He sighed, but he knew it wasn't entirely his fault it was Eiri's choice in it. But still, he couldn't always be there for him could he? He finally realized that.

Mika rubbed her forehead, "Goodness help us…"

**XXX**

" Ah I give up!" Seiji said turning around, out of breath. He wasn't bothered chasing after them anymore. Let them sort it out.

" Yo Seiji." Akeno said, " gave up?"

"Naturally. Those two are hard to keep up with. Such a pain. Lets just get on with the recording without Shuichi, he can do it later. Or I just watch over you…" he said walking back to the studio.

" May we ask Seiji…" Ayumi started.

" Hey hey… 'we?' whose the we?" Akeno asked.

Ayumi ignored him, " Why are you so willing to help Shuichi through all this? And us? You're the president you can fire us or Shuichi for this. Lacking time and stuff." She asked.

Akeno looked at Ayumi, " She's lost it. Know what Seiji, You can fire Ayumi. Not us. She's not making sense."

" Hey! You asked the same thing too!" Ayumi said hitting Akeno.

Seiji laughed and shook his head, "Youngsters… anyway… I don't mind helping." He smiled, " You guys are the most happening and famous band S-productions have now. Would I let you go to waste?" he asked walking onwards without them. " Besides Shuichi is a pretty special person." He said, he turned, " So I don't mind at all."

**XXX **

"YUKI!" Shuichi finally got a hold on him by grabbing his jacket and pulling him. " Asshole!"

Yuki turned to look at him annoyed, " What brat,"

" What was your problem back in the studio? Cant you be nice for once? You hurt Yumi's feelings! You seriously are inhuman aren't you? Idiot! And my feelings. I don't care if you hurt my feelings. I'm so used to it. But Yumi!" Shuichi wanted to scream louder.

Yuki looked at him with piercing eyes as he grabbed Shuichi's hand, " You're very annoying. It cant stop there can it? I insult the whole word fucktard like you didn't know that." He said his face close to Shuichi's " Saying mean things to your girlfriend doesn't make a difference. It was true anyways. And you too. You don't look like you love her. Even you're girlfriend,Why rush? Heh Shuichi, didn't know you were the sex driven types probably just like before."

**PUNCH!**

Shuichi punched Yuki square on the face. " WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM!" The writer staggered a step back surprised at Shuichi's load of punch… okay surprised Shuichi actually punched him. Again. This was the second time.

_Was Yuki jealous of Yumi? He sounded like it even in the Studio. But about what? It couldn't be about me… it couldn't be.. of course not. Who the hell am I kidding? That remark hurt so much. Yuki was only trying to make him suffer. Like before… like before._

" Is it so hard for me to be with another person?" Shuichi asked he tried to contain his tears, he hadn't cried for so long he wont start now. But heat was rushing through his whole body, he felt like crying. " Even if I like or don't like, it makes a person happier if they're not alone." He said. This time a tear fell down his cheek. " You have Riku… she's a great girl, obviously you'd feel happy. You have someone." Another tear and another, his face was looking at the ground, so the tears fell and splattered on the ground, " I…"

Shuichi looked up his face red and tear stricken, " I had no one since I left you…" he said with a chocked voice.

Yuki just stared at him dumbfounded with that sentence.

_I had no one since I left you…_

Watching Shuichi cry… just like before made his heart….. _Make his heart what?_ Yuki thought. Shuichi looked beautiful…. Shit, Yuki thought, remembering all those times he spent with Shuichi, and all the times he cried because of him.

But this situation, it was exactly like the rainy day Shuichi left him.

" I had no one Yuki…" he choked, " So is it hard for me to be with Yumi? Cant you be nice to me… for once?" he asked. Not asked, he sounded pleading. Yuki's heart crunched up.

There was a moment of silence between them, the air breezing blowing their coats, drying up Shuichi's tears and stinging Yuki's swollen face.

Each other giving time to recollect themselves, Shuichi didn't need an answer for his question. Just like how he didn't need an answer years ago when he asked Yuki if Yuki loved him. He didn't need anything.

"SHUICHI!"

Yumi's voice called from afar, making Shuichi stand up straight and wipe his face, he breathed a couple of times and Yuki thought it was cute. But that wasn't the right time to think about it. His head was still spinning and his heart…..Shit it couldn't stop clenching.

Shuichi turned to see Yumi run towards him and wrap her arms around his neck. " There you are!" she said happily. He smiled and hugged her back, " Yeah. Here I am."

She smiled at him and kissed his lips, she turned to see Yuki standing there watching them, blood coming out of his nose and it was swollen. Yumi knew something had gone wrong while she went off from the studio to look for Shuichi. She had disliked Yuki from the beginning, but now she officially hated him. But somehow she felt like, she pitied him as well.

" Umm.. Eiri-san, are you ok--," Yumi started to ask before Yuki himself cut her off.

" I'm fine." He said gruffly.

Yumi wanted to protest as the bruise looked like it hurt but she decided not to get on his nerves. Even though he got on hers just now at the studio.

"Ah um.. alright.." She said looking at Shuichi.

" Lets go." Shuichi said walking away first. Yumi knew it was Shuichi who punched Yuki, but she wasn't going to bring it up. She looked at Yuki, he face full of question and wonder.

Yuki glanced at her giving her no answer to the situation. Yumi then turned to follow Shuichi catching up and walking next to him.

The blonde stood there for a long time thinking how the situation could be so calm, then the next hectic. And he couldn't stop his clenching heart. It hurt more than the punch.

_But why the fuck did he just say all those? To annoy him? Get a reaction from him? Shit Eiri, get a frickin grip!_

**XXX**

" Shuichi?" Yumi started. She knew Shuichi did not want to talk about it. She wanted to know why he punched Yuki, Shuichi was not a violent person to begin with. But for now her problem was more important.

" Yeah?" he answered his hands in his pocket.

"Can we talk now?" she asked as they reached her car. They stopped at the door, Shuichi turned to look at her and nodded, even though he showed he really did not want to talk.

" okay…. Is it true what Yuki said in the studio? About you rushing into things with me, and you don't like me the way I do? Are we being fake?" she asked meekly. Remembering the hurtful words Yuki Eiri used on them.

They were nicely recording SG's last track in Ng-studios and Yuki was there looking for Tohma again only to know he went out with his sister for lunch. So he stopped by them recording. Yumi didn't know but she could feel him being annoyed at the sight of Yumi sitting on Shuichi's lap during the recording. It was civilized for a while until Yuki made a comment on Shuichi not doing his work properly because he was too involved with a workmate. Shuichi then fought back by saying Yuki shouldn't butt into things that wasn't his problems. Then it became nasty when Yuki said that everything Shuichi does is fake including the relationship Yumi and he was in, hitting home run on Shuichi when he said that Shuichi was rushing things with Yumi and thus going to hurt her if it was going on.

Honestly none of them knew how that happened, but it did. Unusual for all of them. Even to Shuichi who just blew up at everything Yuki said.

Shuichi continued looking at her, his face showed slight disappointment. Of what? Yumi couldn't read or know. She needed it from his mouth.

" Yumi? Do you believe in what he says?" He asked simply.

She shrugged and looked away, " I really don't know Shuichi. I really don't. I…" she trailed off, hurting herself for telling him this but she had to know, " I always watch you. Since America I watched you, you were never this emotional at all. Back in America you seem to be driven and did not have much emotions. It was always Shining Glow, lyrics, music but never your own life. I only saw the real you ONCE when you were reminiscing the past… and the name you told me was Yuki Eiri."

Still looking away she said, " And of course it has to be this guy isn't it? Since you and I came here, I have been watching you even more." She said sadly, " And I have seen the way you look at him…" she looked at Shuichi at last her eyes full of tears, " And… you don't look at me that way, you never liked me Shuichi, I don't know what was your plan in this, but Yuki was right, you don't like me the way I do. Only Yuki could take out your feelings so emotionally, even though all he does is hurt you." She said choking the words out.

Shuichi really didn't know what to do, suddenly Yumi coming our like this, catching him with these words, he didn't know what to do.

But whatever she said was true, he couldn't deny that, but what the hell was going on today? Did the world just turn on him and gave him the middle finger?

" We..well.. I guess I got a bit far on this didn't I Shu? But you had to know what was on my mind. Somehow I agree Yuki on this, you're rushing… and… I think you have to sort out you're feelings first."

Yumi used the ends of shirt to dry out her tears but Shuichi went over to her side and offered her his handkerchief, " I don't need this." Shuichi said, " You do."

The girl looked at him, she really liked him, but she couldn't be with him if he doesn't have the feelings for her, somehow she could see and feel that his feelings for Yuki never left. " Shuichi…" she took his handkerchief and wiped her eyes.

Then, he hugged her tight startling her, " Yumi.. I don't know how you have the patience with me. And I feel like shit now knowing this. I had no clue I made you felt that way. I feel like a useless bastard."

Yumi cried even more and hugged him back, " No.. no… I thought I could use this opportunity to get you to like me. But it didn't work out."tears falling down her face. " Well at least I thought I had a shot with you."

She pulled away from him and looked at his face, she could see a tear falling down his face. She smiled and asked, " Is that for me?" she grinned. She knew he cried for Yuki a lot of times even before she and Shuichi met, and a few minutues ago Shuichi's face was tear stricken having that stand out with Yuki.

But it made Yumi happy that finally that one tear that fell down his face right at that moment was for her, she didn't care if it was a pity cry for her. All she knew was that she managed to make him cry for her.

Taking the handkerchief she wiped his face, " Well today we had a crying rally didn't we? And sorted out the stupid problems." She sighed, " What else could brighten up our day?"

Shuichi laughed, " I don't know… another recording session with SG?"

" Yeah that will soo totally brighten up my day." Yumi said sarcastically.

" Yumi. You're not mad… at me?" Shuichi asked.

" Which part? We technically broke up because of your left over feelings for Yuki and that you didn't really like me like I did. Plus I bawled in front of you because of it." Yumi said trying to summarize the whole situation. Looking at his purple eyes she smiled with her red puffy eyes, " I couldn't be mad at Shuichi, no matter how hard I try. You just have that effect on me. You made me happy though… the few days we were together, I really thought we could… you know make it work out." She shook her head, " But no, it couldn't if you love someone else. And I couldn't be the fourth party in it."

Shuichi clenched his fist, " Yumi, nothing is your fault. You have nothing to do in this relationship. Me and Yuki have NO relationship whatsoever anymore. He's marrying my cousin. And that is that." He said ready to walk over into the car.

Yumi grabbed his hand, " But like me! Shuichi! What if Riku's situation is like mine and yours? What if Yuki still loves you like you do? What if? This will be a wrong wedding!" she said finally realizing the situation with Riku as well, what if it was like hers? It would be worse. Yumi had mutualism with Shuichi, so it was good this way. They talked it over. But Riku doesn't know anything!

Shuichi sighed and took Yumi's hand in his. " Yumi… No… I highly doubt it. Unlike me, Yuki can get on with his life and dump all feelings for me. He can love Riku. It isn't a wrong wedding because Riku loves him as well. And he loves her. Why do you think he asked her in the first place?"

" Because he was rushing it!" Yumi said, ironic at her actions to help Shuichi in this situation. " Like you! You want to bury all feelings you have for Yuki by dating me and see how it goes. Whether you have feelings for me. But it did not work out! You constantly think of him look at him like you still love him. What if Yuki did the same? Marrying Riku to bury the hatchet with you! Haven't you thought about it?" she asked.

She might dislike Yuki, but somehow, it was the right thing to do. Help out. This situation was so screwed up. She noticed more than the idiots around her and Shuichi had to know what she thinks.

Each word that came out of Yumi's mouth made more and more sense in Shuichi's mind but he knew it was not true. It couldn't be, Riku and Yuki are in love and meant to be together, he would not think otherwise. He couldn't be the barrier between the girl he loves… and the guy he still loves. No way. They deserved happiness.

" Yumi. You think too much." He said ruffling her hair, " Lets go back to SG they need a manager and producer." He said.

" Shuichi-," Yumi started but Shuichi smiled at her widely.

" No worries Yumi!" he said getting into the car.

Yeah no worries… but why was his heart crying so much thinking about his little confrontment with Yuki?

**XXX**

Hiro sighed, " Ayaka? You're having lunch again? With who you never told me? I'm worried you run off somewhere anonymous." He said talking to his girlfriend on his cell phone.

" Hiro. Don't worry, you fuss too much, I miss you too. I'm just calling to say Hi. And yes I love you. How is Shuichi?" she asked. " I.. I mean how is he doing again in Japan? You complained to me the last time that things were tense is it alright now?"

He sighed, " Not sure honestly. But it's going fine, he and Yumi seem to be getting along fine. However just a moment ago there was a huge fight in NG studios today with Yuki and Shuichi. They never stop…. On the other end,He's talking to me more. We're still best friends but it will be along way more for us to go to be like we used to be."

" It'll be alright Hiro." She said unsure, " It'll work out.."

"Yeah…"

"Ummm Hiro…" Ayaka started to say in a nervous voice.

"What is it?" Hiro asked a bit suspicious with the situation, was Ayaka going to break up with him? It sounded weird.

Ayaka breathed in, then out loudly on the other end of the phone, " If I do something very wrong. Or anything like that… I want to apologize…. And if you get mad afterwards, I would understand it. Usually we tell each other everything…. But for now I want to tell you I love you and umm, I'll tell you everything later. I promise. I felt guilty … this is going on for too long…"

" Wait wait! Slow down Ayaka what?" Hiro asked gripping the phone tightly, what was happening? Ayaka was stammering, what didn't she tell him?

An Affair! Pregnant? What!

"Ayaka tell me now or I'll get anxiety attack thinking about this." Hiro said.

"No no no. I KNEW I shouldn't have called you if you were going to freak out. No whatever you think it is about. It's nothing about us. Something else. But its still important. I'm sorry I cant tell you now. But I just want to say sorry. Alright? See you tomorrow Hiro." She said.

" No! Ayaka please-,"

Ayaka sighed, " Hiro… please?"

He gruffed, " Fine fine, Love you."

"Love you too. Night Hiro…" Ayaka said putting the phone down. " Why me?" she asked the empty room.

**XXX**

**Now now! Thanks guys! I appreciate those who keep on pushing me to continue the story! Review! Make me happy! And I continue! Thanks to all those who did review! Sorry again for the LATE update. School and stuff. Ah well I will keep updating. Okay, so what is Ayaka and Hiro gotta do with this? And did Eiri flip out? Hehe. This is the starting of the pinnacle of more angst I guess. Oh well… drama drama. But I think it's coming to an end another 3 or 4 more chaps to go, and this story's done I think. But keep on reviewing! Yeah! Yeah! I love them reviews, tell me what you think and all those. Thanks! And sorry i dont review reply like i usually do... But, the connection bites here. So i will try thanks! **


	16. Realize it

A/n: I soo do not own gravitation, even though I wish they did. It such an awesome story :). This is not my first fic, but my first gravi fic. Nee XD. By the way I very so much adore Gravitation .whee! Hope this story works out.

Oh and this chapter has smut in it, so jumped if you don't want to see it. Or press the back button Hehe. Nearly there guys.

**XXX**

"Yuki-san… Seriously, the deadline is in one week's time and in that week you are getting married when are the transcripts coming in?" Yuki's editor asked, pissing him off.

"It'll be in your hands soon alright." he said in an annoyed voice, "Call me when I'm in a better mood." He was ready to slam the phone down.

Sighing she said "Yuki-san, when are you ever in a better mood? Anyway before you're wedding!"

Yuki put the phone down before she did. He wasn't doing his damn work and he knew that if he missed the deadline, he'd get blasted, his editor would get blasted and… everyone in close proximity of Yuki Eiri will get blasted.

He was sitting in his study room staring at the computer screen. Since yesterday's events with Shuichi, Yuki couldn't think properly. The brown haired boy did not come back that night.

"Must've stayed at his fake girlfriend's house." He muttered to himself.

Oh god, he thought as he closed his laptop shut. Why was he so worked up over it? He was over Shuichi. He was.

But why did his heart hurt even more now?

He walked past the empty dark living room into the kitchen. He opened the fridge and took out a can of beer. Opening the top he downed the beer in one gulp.

Not enough.

He took another and drank it down. Yes, a perfect way to down one's sorrows.

But what sorrows? What? Yuki leaned against the open fridge door.

"Damn it Brat…"

_Why, why are you still in my head?_

**XXX**

"You know Shu… Hiding out here isn't really one of the brightest ideas you have so far." Hiroshi Nakano said to his best friend who was hiding underneath his blanket. "Come on Shu, You can't sulk any longer." Hiro said taking the blanket and tried to pull it away so he could see Shuichi.

But the former singer tugged it back wrapping himself like a Swiss roll cake saying nothing.

After the fight with Yuki, Shuichi had gone back with Yumi. For a few moments he was deep in thought and couldn't think properly. Yumi offered him to stay at her hotel, but he refused saying it wasn't right this way. Even though they were now friends, he still felt guilty for hurting her. However, Yumi just shrugged it off saying 'shit happens.'

Next thing he knew he found himself in Hiro's house, he didn't know why but he had told her to drive him here and she did.

"Shuichi! God! Come on." Hiro said grabbing the sheet away again, this time tugging harder than ever. Hiro knew something happened between him and Shuichi until after the fight in the studio but neither him nor Yumi knew what really happened or what really went on.

No matter how annoying and a big cry baby Shuichi was being right now, Hiro didn't mind. He was just happy Shuichi came to him.

At last with all of Hiro's strength he managed to pull the blanket that was shielding Shuichi away from him. Judging by his red face and eyes Hiro knew he was crying the whole night.

"Geez... Shuichi…" he said looking at his friend.

"Hiro... am I stupid?" Shuichi asked finally, his face was still red from crying, "Am I stupid for still loving him?"

Hiro just stared at him. So flashbacks were racking through his mind, this was so nostalgic wasn't it?

"Yes." Hiro finally said. "You are stupid for still loving him.Baka"

Well, he had told Shuichi the truth that was what Shuichi wanted to hear… right?

Shuichi thought he could break down again. He came to Hiro because in situations like these 5 years … he always ran to Hiro.

And in situations like this... 5 years ago… Hiro always said the same thing...

"_Yes you are Stupid for loving him. Baka."_

After remembering this it was Shuichi who looked up at Hiro. For a long while they stared at each other.

Then, they both started laughing. It was like repeating the whole sequence again. They both could still remember Shuichi running into Hiro's house uninvited. Crying to him because Yuki dumped him or Yuki was mean to him, or Yuki kicked him out of the house. In that every moment that happened Hiro would always say the most comforting things to him yet he also kicked Shuichi back into reality.

"Thank you Hiro." Shuichi said after they both finished laughing. Hiro winked, "Anytime. You know that Shu."

Shuichi sighed and flopped back on the bed, "You know, I think I know why I came here of all places. Because you're here and you always try to make me feel better…" he closed his eyes, "But that was 5 years ago. I didn't actually believe you would let me in your house and let me take your bed and cry on it because of Yuki again."

Hiro shrugged, "To tell you the truth when I saw you at my door yesterday I didn't really think it was about Yuki."

Shuichi looked up at him, "Hah? Really?"

Hiro raised his brows, "What? You really believe that? Every time you cry it's because of that blonde bastard." He laughed. "Even if it's after 5 years, I think all you ever will cry truly about is him." he said kindly now.

Shuichi's eyes glistened, "Hiro…"

Peaceful and understanding Hiro. Shuichi still wondered how he could leave should a friend like him for 5 years. Then again in 5 years he spent his life building a wall around him so that no one could get close to him anymore.

"Ha-ha, yeah I rock don't I? You left Bad Luck without a word, Japan without a word... ME without a good word… And I still treat you like nothing has ever happened… Well the first half that is." He said hugging Shuichi and laid his head on his shoulder. "You're my best friend and always will be. I know this thing with Yuki is hurting you but you have to think logically… Even if you cry over this, what can you do?"

Hiro was laying out the entire pros and cons for Shuichi. He didn't want his friend to get hurt; then again he didn't want a sad ending to this life. Plus Hiro was thinking of it in other people's prospective ways. There was the biggest factor in this problem… it was Riku.

"There is nothing I can do Hiro." Shuichi said after thinking for a while, "I have left Japan for 5 years and come back just to find out I am still in love with Yuki? I'll never get away from it." The young man said shaking his head, "Its inevitable….. Like night and day, the stars in the sky, a new born child…" he took a deep breath, "I will just never forget Yuki. He is a part of me; I have tried to deny it all these years… even when I came back… But no matter what I do, I will never stop loving him… It's just fated that way. Cruel fate's gift to me."

Shuichi gazed at the floor for the longest moment, he didn't need to think much about what he said, and it just came out naturally, like he finally let himself loose to what he should say. But only limited to Hiro.

For the longest time Hiro was quiet as well, he didn't know Shuichi was such the poet. He didn't remember his friends using such good metaphors to explain his situation. He also couldn't remember a time where Shuichi was reasonable.

"Wow… Shuichi, I am speechless, that was so unreal of you to say anything like that. Then again it's so unreal for me to write songs for other Japanese bands as well." He laughed; he never thought he would make it as a songwriter as well in Japan.

Shuichi laughed slightly, "Miracles do happen Hiro." He sighed again, "Just not to me, in fact I think it's going to get worst."

Hiro put a hand on his forehead and massaged it, "Shuichi I don't get it, and you are not the perky ambitious strong person I used to know. Sure hardship in life has taken a toll on you…. But don't you always fight for what you want? Yuki... I mean look at Yuki! A person like that could never stick to one person… could never love, but you made him…. The first few weeks you were trying to get his attention I thought it was impossible… but you made it possible. You chased the man halfway across the sea! You NEVER gave up."

The purple orbs owned by Shuichi moved sadly to Hiro's face, "That was when I knew nothing could stop me, no powerful barrier… But Yuki has made up his mind. He is getting married with Riku. I love Riku too much to do anything stupid. I've learnt from all my stupidity and this is one chase I will let off. I wouldn't hurt other people on account of my own happiness. Also I don't think Yuki likes me. He never did and he never will, it's a one sided relationship… even years ago and I am fine with that. I really am. I accepted that fact."

He gave a small chuckle that came out sadly like a choke. Hiro couldn't stand it; Shuichi's situation was unbearable even to him. He pulled Shuichi into another tight embrace and he brown haired boy started crying again, "It's ok Shuichi… It's ok."

He held him in that position for a long time.

**XXX**

After hearing the click which meant the lock was open, Shuichi walked into Yuki's house at 3 AM in the morning. He was at Hiro's place the whole day and night. He couldn't go back so early. He couldn't face the human object of his affection that is Yuki. No way. He was still vulnerable because he accepted the fact that he would always have feelings for Yuki.

Crap, his life was crap.

Well all he had to do now was act normal, go through the wedding, wish them god happiness and go back to America. Stay there and die alone.

He was such an optimist wasn't he?

He looked around, he frowned, what the hell, the place was a MESS. Papers were strewn about, cigarette butts and box everywhere. Beer cans and bottles on the table and floor. Bags of chips... pizza boxes... Did the burglars just decide to have a party before they have a stealing spree in Yuki's place? Geez! He thought as he jumped over a bag of chips.

"What the hell happened here?" Shuichi asked the empty room softly. Where was Yuki? Not that he wanted to see the man so soon but did he know his house was a living mess?

He remembered Yuki to be very clean and neat. Not a neat freak type of way but the man was quite clean. Shuichi picked up a few bottles off the floor, he smiled. Yeah, he remembered Yuki shouting at him for making a mess in the kitchen when he tried baking something for Yuki. He also remembered Yuki screaming at him to clean up the mess he caused in the living room.

Drop. Drop.

"Crap." Shuichi muttered, he didn't realize a tear fell down on his hand to the bottle he was holding. How could one person like Yuki still have so much influence on his feelings?

He finally accepted it after years getting over it. His walls he built around himself were for Yuki. And like usual, the man managed to break it. How true was the saying 'The first cut is the deepest'. He wiped his tears away; this was getting horrible and embarrassing.

He stood up and did a bit of cleaning. After half an hour Shuichi had the place prim and proper again. Yuki must've had a party or something when he was at Hiro's place. The man had no shame. He wiped the bead of sweat on his forehead with the back of his hand. He was tired and didn't get enough of sleep as he was too busy bawling his heart out to Hiro who would keep his secret with his life.

Tomorrow it would all be normal again Shuichi would act like nothing ever happened. He wouldn't show his feelings to Yuki. He just had to endure all this until after the wedding and that's it. He promised Riku he would be there to watch her walk down the aisle. He wouldn't back down on his promise. Even if the wedding will break his heart into a million pieces.

He walked towards his room door and opened it.

"AHHH!" he shouted when something pushed the door and fell on him, he hardly even opened it halfway.

"YUKI!" Shuichi said out loud when he pulled away from the person taking a good look at him. The blonde looked awful. His blonde hair was disheveled, his eyes were bloodshot. His whole appearance was soo not Yuki.

"You reek of alcohol!" Shuichi said holding his shoulders so he wouldn't collapse any further on him.

Suddenly Yuki started mumbling, "Damn brat,where have you been, all worried... how come you're still in my head."

Shuichi was surprised at that, "Yuki you drank a lot!" he realized Yuki was beyond drunk to say all that, the real Yuki would never say such words… ever. "Come on lets get you back to your room, you're heavy." He said still supporting the heavy and drunk writer.

"No…" Yuki muttered as he stubbornly slumped against Shuichi which caused him to loose balance and fall backwards.

They both stumbled on the floor. "Gah Yuki get off me you're heavy!" Shuichi said and started struggling to push Yuki off however the writer had other things in his mind.

"So? You like me heavy..." he murmured seductively into Shuichi's ear. For a moment Shuichi tensed up, was Yuki serious?

No. He concluded, Yuki is not serious because the man is DRUNK.

"Yuki shut up, you're drunk, so get off me." He said pushing him off again hard. Still, Yuki didn't budge instead he dropped his face in the nape of Shuichi's neck.

"No, I'm not that drunk, besides you smell so sweet…" he licked his neck, "Hehe and salty."

Shuichi shuddered at the touch, whenever he was with Yuki the slightest touch could heat him up but it couldn't be this way, this was just WRONG. They already did it once and kissed a few times this was going against Riku's perfect relationship with Yuki.

"Yuki! Damn it asshole Stop!" he cried out while pushing him off but Yuki did not budge he just kept on kissing Shuichi's neck.

He smiled, "Stop? You sure?" he suddenly had a lot of strength and lay between Shuichi's legs; he grabbed Shu's leg and pulled it aside so he would be in the middle.

"What? You never change! Stull extremely horny after you're drunk!" Shuichi said. Yuki smiled at him from where he was. Shuichi blushed. Yuki looked so hot. If he didn't stop Shuichi could give in anytime soon.

"Glad you remember how I am." He murmured and kissed Shuichi's lips. That was it, Shuichi's bones melted along with the kiss and he stopped struggling. Yuki overpowered him like mad right now. He winded his arms around him.

Just for today. Then it'll be completely over.

_Just hold me for today Yuki, come tomorrow, I know everything will be as it is. For today just hold me like you used to._

**XXXX Yes NC-17, skip if you don't like **XXXX

Yuki caressed Shuichi's belly and raised his Shirt. He sipped his way from his lovers Mouth to his ear and nibbled his way down to Shuichi's Collarbone. God, how Yuki liked doing that, the young singer was still tasty as ever. Under him a moan escaped those sweet lips Yuki just claimed. Shuichi lifted his hands to Yuki's head and clutched his ex-lovers blond hair and threw his head back in desire for pleasure. Yuki took advantage of Shuichi's bare skin and bit down on his soft skin, only to caress the sore spot with his hot tongue immediately. Shuichi let out another moan and he bit down on his lip. He needed Yuki that was for sure. He was near the brink. Yuki was seriously teasing him right now.

He rocked his hips against Yuki like an invitation and Yuki worked his lips down across the smaller ones ribs to his bellybutton. He dipped his tongue down into Shuichi's navel and the singer giggled softly at the sweet sensation. Shuichi bent his knees and leaned into his lovers touch, while Yuki licked his way down from the bellybutton to his lovers throbbing heat

Yuki inhaled Shuichi's typical smell and had to admit to himself that he had missed the genki singers little body under his. Hell that was why he was drinking in the first place. It was because he couldn't forget Shuichi or anything that Shuichi had over him. He planted a single kiss on Shuichi's nipple and then engulfed his mouth again. He slid his arm around Shuichi's waist and pulled him into a tight embrace. He wanted to stand up, but failed miserable, mostly because he was still a bit tipsy.

So, stumbling a little Shuichi found himself pushed up against the wall, and both men escaped a deep moan as their groins met.

Shuichi's legs crossed behind the blonds back and brushed Yuki's trousers past his butt.

The singer panted and pressed his hips against Yuki's, to increase the enormous sensation.

"Yuki"he mumbled in the blonde's ear, "I need you...please..:". He bit down on Yukis earlobe and nibbled at its shell.

He still knew that Yuki had his weak spot at his ears, and he got a very warm feeling in his stomach, every time he thought about how Yuki was touching him. It also seemed that Yuki hadn't forgotten about Shuichi's weak points either.

Yuki didn't hesitate and entered Shuichi with one finger. He stretched his muscles. He reached for a little knob inside and when Shuichi gasped he knew he had found it.  
He entered a second Finger, making Shuichi gasp from the sharp sensation and pleasure. Yuki then kissed his full lips. Their tongues fought and Yuki could feel his own erection grow, with Shuichi's little moans inside his mouth. Taking it all in.

Carefully he added a third finger and smiled when Shuichi leaned into his touch and asked without words for more. Shuichi grunted in disapproval when Yuki took his fingers away, but panted and cried out from pleasure as Yuki entered him complete in one move.

Shuichi moaned Yuki's name nonstop and Yuki felt better then ever. He never had slept with another person this pleasure full. Sure he had the occasional men and women but they never made him feel like this. However the funny thing is despite his horny self he hadn't slept with Riku yet. In his lust and alcohol clouded mind he registered that... in fact he was cheating on his soon to be wife, but actually he found that he loved both, Riku as a Family member and Shuichi... still as a lover.

Shuichi felt the tension inside his body grow and clutched his hands in Yukis back. "Yuki, I…can't... I'm ...," he panted but Yuki just kissed him.

"Shut up brat and do as you like..."he grumbled, and kissed Shuichi again.

He let his tongue travel down Shuichi's cheek and kissed his below his ear, then his neck and over his collarbone to his Shoulder. Then back to his neck and back to his mouth. It was like an expedition through Shuichi's body. One expedition that Yuki would explore over and over again.

He really had missed Shuichi's kisses... sweet with full and soft lips. He felt Shuichi's neglected member between their stomachs throb and slipped his hand between their bodies. He reached for it and pumped in unison with his thrust.

He noticed that he too, wasn't far from his climax. "Shuichi... shuichi..." he grunted. With two more thrust he felt Shuichi stiffen under him and the contractions of the smaller ones climax sends himself over the edge. They both lay there in their afterglow.

Yuki wanted to withdraw himself away from Shuichi's legs, which were still around his hips, and lay down next to him, but Shuichi only held on tighter.

"Stay...," Shuichi whispered. "I love it when you're still in me lying on my stomach..."

Yuki closed his eyes how could he refuse that? He stayed…for now.

**XXX End Nc-17 XXX**

_Chirp Chirp._

Chirp?

Shuichi opened his eyes, he rubbed his forehead. He was soo drowsy and it was already morning. He looked around he was in his room. He guessed Yuki must've moved him when morning dawned. Oh and he was considerate enough to put Shuichi's clothes by the foot of bed.

That's right, he thought, he did it with Yuki again. After the previous day's fight he ended up back in Yuki's bed. He pulled his knees up to his chin. Even if the sex felt good in the end he felt miserable anyway. He betrayed Riku...who will never know about this and he still loved Yuki.

Miserable. He felt miserable.

He laid his head on his knees and tears started falling down his face again. To think after 5 years he built a strong wall, never crying and having feelings. It just took the same man who hurt him to bring back all his emotions. He should have never come back.

"Shuichi? Why are you crying!"

Shuichi jerked up his tear stricken face turned to see someone at the door.

"Riku!" he said in an astonished voice. His cousin was back.

**XXX**

**A/n: Oh my goodness it has been AGES this is the worst! This is the longest time spent since I updated. Sorry sorry. Lots of school work. Right now its Summer school so I actually have more time and figured to do it now. And I had writers block! So I couldn't do much... Was working on a Tatsuha/Ryuichi fic too... So I was carried away. But yeah here the 16th chapter hopes you guys like it. It's long bare with me because I haven't updated since forever. The next one I promise will be soon! Not as long as this one hahaha…. I hope. Oh and Read and review of course. Makes me totally happy! Reviews! Oh by the way THANK YOU and MUCH LOVE to my pet sister Esthee (Kody) for helping me out of this slump (Or to be more accurate my procrastinating and lazy attitude.) and especially the smut ;). ****Hehe so nearly there... Riku is back. Oops, whats going to happen? And yess Shuichi is on his bed naked... with the comforter over him. But yes naked. :D**


	17. But I don't trust you

A feeling never changed chapter 17 I soo do not own gravitation, even though I wish they did. It such an awesome story :). This is not my first fic, but my first gravi fic. Nee XD. By the way I very so much adore Gravitation .whee! Hope this story works out.

OMG so sorry, this is the longest time I have updated, I was moving and such. Forgive me! And no I am not discontinuing xD. I will finish this fic! I promise. I don't want to update this long ever again O thank you to those who still follow this story! Sorry for the delay yet again!

XXX

"Ri-Riku! Hey," he said quickly wiping off his tears, Riku should not see him cry, if not thousands and one question would pop out and would be too mind-numbing to answer. "Crying? No, no, not crying at all."

"Don't lie! Tears were falling down your face Shuichi!" Riku said hurrying to his side.

"Okay, okay I was…" no point lying, he was evidently crying and he himself knew that. Damn stupid timing. He was sure someone up there was playing with his life. "It was because…uhm…" sand went into his eyes? Shining Glow was procrastinating again? Seiji was bullying him again?

Yeah, like Riku would believe any of that. She was still staring at him full of concern waiting for his answer to her question. Whatever it is, Shuichi couldn't tell her the real reason why, he just couldn't hurt her with the truth so he-

"It was because my relationship with Yumi didn't work out." He had to tell her that.

Shuichi didn't know what kind of reaction Riku would response to his sudden statement. In fact he didn't think of what to say to Riku, it was just a spur of the moment kind of answer. One that he will still get bombarded with questions with.

Eyes widened, mouth agape, his cousin gasped, "What?! Shuichi! How? When did you even hook up with her?" she asked calming down once she realized she didn't know anything about their hook-up. "Hey I know nothing of this!"

… Oh crap. Shuichi totally forgot she didn't know about it, was his and Yumi's relationship that short?

'Yes Shuichi, it was that short and eventful' His conscience butted in.

Shuichi felt the terrible headache is staying for the day, thus he didn't want to talk much although he did miss his cousin very much.

"It was a long story Riku, I will tell you some other time, please? I have a headache and it's evil…"the only way to get out of this, is tell her what he really felt that moment. To the situation, it would be better than allowing Riku questioning him.

She hesitated for a while but after noticing her cousin's current state she nodded, "Alright, but you owe me an explanation for this." She said coming in closer to hug him.

"Oh look, are you making a move on our guest, Riku?" a cold voice that usually sends shivers down Shuichi's spine came from the room door. Riku let go of Shuichi to look at her fiancé while Shuichi looked down at the white sheets they just made love on the last night.

"Oh shush, I'm not prepared to go incest on you now darling." She said with a short laugh. "Although my dear cousin here is definitely a killer with girls," she winked at Shuichi.

"Riku I can't stay for your wedding." Shuichi suddenly said.

Well that shocked Riku but it certainly didn't shock the cool heartless blonde standing at the door, he just stared at Shuichi.

Shuichi rushed in before Riku could open her mouth, "It's because of my job, they need me back for some production … thing." Oh it was lie of course.

"No! Shuichi, you promised me you would stay until the wedding. At least until the wedding I wouldn't want it to go on without you. So promise me you will stay till then! Regardless of the stupid job you have there. Please Shuichi? Just for me?" Riku pleaded her cousin grabbing his hand and not letting him go anytime soon, plus she gave him the big sparkly puppy eyed look that she learned well from Shuichi himself.

Shuichi was stucked, he wanted to leave as soon as possible staying there any longer would make him burst. He couldn't be there, he couldn't see Yuki and Riku together all happy. It hurt him.

Right after Riku saw him crying, she quickly jumped and hugged him. Like nothing ever happened. He looked around the room-no clothes strewn about, no sign of any being sleeping next to him. He breathed a sigh of relief when everything was clear. Did Yuki clean everything up?

After that he told Riku he needed to go back as soon as possible to tend to some non-existent work in New York. He just wanted to get out.

However to see Riku happy made him happy. He smiled and put his hand over hers, "Yeah, forget about the work I'm supposed to do in New York. I'll stay till your wedding as promised." He was too soft on the girl, she could get to him way to easy.

Riku squealed and jumped to hug him, "Oh Shuichi! Thank you! That'll be my perfect day! With my fiancé and my favorite cousin by my side. I can die in happiness!"

Shuichi smiled as he put his arms around to hug her, his eyes moving towards the tall blonde behind them. He couldn't read Yuki's expression, nothing but a blank expression. So be it that way, Shuichi closed his eyes shut trying to wash away the pain.

It was better this way. Now that Riku was back, Yuki wouldn't do anything and Shuichi wouldn't succumb. They knew their boundaries. But still… in the span of time Riku left, they slept together twice. They fought a few times… just like they were in a relationship again. At first Shuichi denied his suppressed love for Yuki, but now as time went by he finally realized he will never love anyone as much as he did to the bastard behind them right now.

Life sucks, he thought.

"Okay! So since I am back and TOTALLY ditched out the wedding plans, I have to get everything done by tomorrow!" she said letting go of Shuichi, she turned to see Yuki behind them, "YOU! Help too. I hear Mika complain about stuff just before I got back. My phone and ear was burning by the end of that call."

Yuki shrugged, "Yeah sure." He said casually. Shuichi felt like nailing him, here we have Riku all excited about the wedding planning and Yuki being a complete non-bothersome ass about it.

Oh and lets not forget that he cheated on Riku with his cousin while she was gone.

Shuichi dropped back on the bed and groaned, that was just plain horrible to think about. How could Yuki? How could HE? This has to go to into their grave.

"Shu-chan you okay?" Riku asked. Damn, Shuichi forgot they were still in the room.

"Yeah I am. Are you going to plan the wedding further on with Mika-san at the park?" he asked looking at her. It was damn hard to look at his cousin and not see 'You betrayed her' on her face. He was going to hell. He just knew it. He was going to die slowly for cheating like that, but it was beyond his control, when it came to Yuki… everything was blurry.

"Yeah I am going today. And you my beloved cousin will come with us." She said grabbing his hand and pulling him up.

Yuki turned away from them, "When you two are done playing around, I'll go start up the car."

"Haha, yes darling you do that." Riku said, "Hurry Shu-chan!"

"Stop pulling Riku! I'm naked under here!" he pulled his hand back.

"... You sleep in the nude?" she stopped pulling him, only realizing at that moment that he was naked under the blanket.

Uh-huh, as if shuichi was going to tell her he was in the nude because the night before he was having sex with her future husband.

Shuichi looked at her and shrugged, "Yeah, it was hot. Should have the air condition fix sooner." So was the sex. He cringed.

Damn… today is going to be a long day.

**XXX**

"Somebody please kill me…" Yuki muttered as he saw the hustle and bustle going on in the park where he will hold his wedding at. People with flowers, chairs, decorations and such were just rushing. He knew this was Mika's doing. The woman could scare a truckload of wrestlers. She was pretty organized.

"Morning Eiri-san." Tohma stepped up beside him.

"Seguchi… why are you always here don't you work need to work?" Yuki asked taking out a box of cigarettes. He knew Tohma worked like crazy but if he wasn't wrong he knew Tohma had been with Mika since the start of the preparation of the wedding.

Tohma smiled, "Mika dragged me along. It's either I follow and help or suffer her wrath." He looked at Yuki, "Which would you prefer?"

Yuki shook his head, "Neither. But is this a big of a deal?" he asked lighting up his smoke.

"You better not let Mika or Riku hear it Eiri-san. You are quite cruel aren't you?"

Yuki rolled his eyes, great more unwanted accusations, "For voicing out? I really think the whole big wedding is a waste of my time, yours and everyone else's."

Tohma shook his head, "You only think so because you're not excited Eiri-san." The next thing they heard was Mika calling out for Tohma at the far end.

"Haha, I better go over before Mika bites my head off anymore."

"Good." Yuki said.

Tohma turned to walk away then stopped, "Just don't regret whatever you do Eiri-san. I might not like what is happening now but honestly... everything is up to you now."

Yuki blew out smoke, "What the hell are you talking about?" he turned to look at Tohma but the man walked away.

What the heck? Yuki thought. Did everyone go haywire while the wedding plans were going on? He was sick and tired of people calling him the bad guy and making him make stupid decisions. Especially Shuichi.

Shuichi… what the hell was wrong with him? He promised not to touch Shuichi. He knew he was getting married soon. He was quite confused. Once he touched the former singer he would want more. Since he came back he was constantly on his mind, it felt sucked thinking about it. It really did but he couldn't do anything at all to mental push Shuichi out of his mind.

And for serious he did not believe he was in love with the boy. Well that was what Yuki thought and he was usually wrong with his feelings.

"Eiri?" someone tapped him on his shoulder.

What now?

Yuki turned around to see who it was. "Oh, Riku what is it?"

She shrugged, "Want to go take a walk?" she asked putting her arm through his.

"Well since you already did that might as well." He said throwing the cigarette on the ground and stepping on it to butt it out. They both walked down the park where they could see people rushing around setting the place up.

"Wow… In a few days we're going to get married." She said hanging on to his arm. "I totally missed out on everything while I was away working. It sucks."

Yuki shrugged, "You didn't miss a lot. Mika and Tohma had been doing the wedding plans so it was all on schedule. This is Mika we're dealing with."

Riku laughed, "Haha, yes your sister is quite a thing isn't she? She's so determined to have the wedding. Sometimes she mutters weird things."

"Really? Mika is a weird one. She's married to Tohma Seguchi isn't she?" Yuki tried to crack up a joke that Riku actually laughed to.

"Yes, and I will be equally weird and the envy of all of Japan when I marry you." She giggled. Yuki smiled faintly at her cheerfulness, true, who DIDN'T want to marry the famous Yuki Eiri?

Once they walked to a darker shadier part of the park where it was clear of workers bustling around to get ready for the wedding, Riku tightened her hold on him as they walked through. "Yuki can I ask you something?" she asked laying her head on his shoulder.

"Obviously." He replied.

"What do you like about me? To the point you want to marry me?" she asked.

How Yuki hated these kind of questions. It was like the people who ask these kind of questions wanted a perfect answer to soothe their inquisitive mind. Did he not get a break from all these pointless questions?

Looking over at his future fiancé he saw how eager she looked for the answer, so he had no choice but to answer even if he didn't want to.

"Everything." He said smoothly, of course the lady-charmer he was, "You're very pretty." He tipped her chin up and she beamed at him.

He continued, "Your smile, the way you think, your attitude, the liveliness in your actions- the way you bounce with happiness when you see me, the way you manage to convince me with that puppy eyed look of yours, how you annoy me when you want to get my attention-…,"

Suddenly Yuki didn't know if he was talking about her or someone else. He blinked raking through his head where all of that just came from.

"It's okay Yuki." Riku said pulling him from his thoughts.

"What?"

For a moment there he thought Riku gave him the saddest smile she's ever given him. But it was just for a second that Yuki thought it was from his imagination or something.

"Hahah, I meant it's alright because even if what you said wasn't really the most romantic one I've heard but it's honest!" she said optimistically patting his arm. "You write romance novels and yet you come with the nerdiest things to say!" she laughed continuing their walk.

But Yuki could've sworn her laugh wasn't as exultant as usual…

**XXX**

"Ya know… I am so worried about Ayaka that my hair is turning grey. Can you see? Can you see the gray hair having a ball up there buddy?" Hiro pointed up to his red hair showing Shuichi the result of his worrying over Ayaka.

Shuichi squinted to look at his best friends' hair trying to find signs of grey hair, "Er, sorry Hiro, your hair is so red I doubt the grays can even start to have a ball."

Hiro grabbed a hold onto Shuichi's shoulders and shook him, "It doesn't matter!"

"Whaa but you just told me to look-,"

"What matters is that Ayaka is acting weird! She hasn't seen me for about…2 days now! TWO DAYS. Woes me Shuichi! Does she want to break up with me? Is there something I've done wrong? Is she having an affair?" With each question he asked Shuichi, he shook the man even harder. Shuichi felt his eyes roll around his sockets.

"Hiro! Calm down! Stop shaking me, I don't need to look worse than I already am." He said trying to pry out of Hiro's grip. "Don't worry buddy, it's nothing like that you're being paranoid again!"

The former guitarist finally let go of Shuichi and sighed, "You were worse last time okay? I handled it better than you. You suck at consoling Shuichi."

Shuichi rolled his eyes, "Well I'm soooo-rryyy I'm not a good psychiatrist like you Hiro." Then, they both laughed.

"I'm still worried about her, I managed to chill yesterday but after that phone call…I've been soo edgy."

"Don't worry, Ayaka's managed to stand you for years now, I doubt she'll go running off with some other guy right?" Shuichi said patting his back, "It must be something small that she's done that she doesn't want to tell you right? Didn't you tell me she fidgets and breaks down even when she gives you one tiny white lie?"

Hiro smiled, "Yeah… I did. And she does! She can't lie to me, it's like she's so loyal it kills."

Shuichi saw that dreamy happy look in Hiro's eyes, one that he knew so well because he used to look like that when he was with Yuki. He smiled for both Hiro and his own memorable past.

However both of them wondered, where was Ayaka? And what actually happened? Hiro didn't think it was good. But-positive thoughts.

"Tell me what am I doing here again shuichi?" Hiro asked as they were both standing in the middle of the park where people were constantly bustling about setting up the wedding.

"Because I told you to." Replied the former singer.

"Ah I see." A man bringing a bunch of chairs bumped into Hiro and cursed at him for being in the way. "…You owe me."

"I know."

**XXX**

"We're sooo definitely invited!" Akeno, the lead singer for Shining Glow announced to his band.

"Cool!" Ayumi said, "I mean we kind of know Riku and she is related to our manager," she giggled, "I'm off to pick a cute dress."

Akeno leaned down to capture her hands, "Pick one that will seize everyone's attention for you are my date to the wedding Ayumi!"

WHAM, Ayumi whacked him on the head, "When did I say yes?"

"Ouchhhh!" Akeno rubbed his head, "But it's a must! You and me and weddings, Ya know???? Tell me you'll come with me to the wedding!"

"If there'll be one that is." Seiji spoke up when he entered the room.

All three band members whipped their heads to look at their president of their record label. They looked at him oddly, why did he just say that?

"What?" all three of them chorused.

Seiji laughed at their amusement, "Oh nothing, just making assumptions. You know, weddings can happen or can not happen… especially when problem persists and old flames rekindle…. Muahahahaha."

"You do know we have a weird president don't you?" Akeno asked his bandmates.

They nodded.

"Good." He said, then to Seiji, "What the hell did you just mean? Do you know something we don't?" Akeno asked him raising his brow.

Seiji smiled clandestinely, "You all are too young to know much. SO of course I do."

"Are you going to tell us then?" Akeno was getting annoyed at him for running around the mulberry bush.

"Of course not!" he smiled wide.

"Then whats the point of telling us now?! And making us so damn curious about it! And we're young we want to know! We're gossip headers!" Akeno burst out accusingly at their reticent President.

"Just fore warning so you guys won't get surprised when something goes wrong during the wedding. Because I can just feel it coming at the tip of my fingers…, oh well I'll be there nevertheless…" Seiji said while walking out.

"Hey wait you-," Akeno wanted to grab him back and beat the information out of him but Ayumi grabbed a hold of his shirt.

"Don't, he will not speak about it." She said, "But I have a feeling it has something to do with Shuichi."

Rei nodded, "I thought so too. I feel like something's going on with Shuichi and that Yuki dude."

"What? What? What the hell are you two talking about?!" Akeno asked exasperated that he was the only one who didn't understand at the moment.

Ayumi narrowed her eyes at him, "Always the loud and dumb one aren't you?" she shook and walked off.

**XXX**

The day was long… and tedious for two former bad luck members. Shuichi came because Riku wanted him and well as for Hiro it was because Shuichi begged him to come. He knew it'd be boring, if bringing Hiro over would reduce the boringness of the situation in the park-Why not?!

So here they were, two idiots playing poker on the park steps.

"Shuichi! Hiro!" Riku came bouncing their way with Yuki in tow. They obviously avoided gazes, Shuichi and he. Only Hiro noticed it but Riku was as cheerful as Shuichi at the age of 19. "What were you two doing the whole day?" she asked.

"Having fun!" Shuichi smiled wide, he didn't think Riku would want to hear the boring part of his day.

"Excellent!" Riku said happily, "Yuki and I just walked around, checking the place. This will be a fabulous place to get married! Definitely one occasion and place I won't forget!" she told all of them.

Hiro nodded politely, he didn't know what to say here. He was happy for Riku, but not for Shuichi. He stole a glance at his best friend and he saw that he was smiling. However, it wasn't a happy smile though- it was a sweet sincere smile… but it wasn't a happy one.

"Exactly. A perfect place for holy matrimony." Yuki said in his lightest non-sarcastic way ever. He draped an arm around her shoulder and squeezed her tight against him.

Riku grinned happily at him, "Yups! Yuki is quite eager aren't you?"

"Very much." He said bluntly. "It's just something new that will erase the old. Just what I need."

Oof, and who knew that better but Shuichi whom that line was directed to. It was like a stab through the heart for Shuichi, but the man just kept his stance. He couldn't cry, he was 5 years way older to cry. 5 years

Yuki's look was yet again expressionless, if Hiro had the chance he would've punched the man into oblivion, something he had always wanted to do since Shuichi fell in love with him. He didn't want to cause trouble though, all he could do now was watch this stupid story go by like a sad cased drama and listen to his best friends heart break again if it already hadn't.

"That's great Riku, I know you'll be happy." He told her ignoring Yuki, trying to hold back the heat that was surging in his eyes. He knew this would happen, in fact he knew this kind of pain will erupt from him once he finally admitted his love for Yuki again.

"Of course you won't forget this one. Everything's perfect!" he said happily.

How can one say that so easily when one was in love?

"Oh Shuichi! Thank you! You made it this perfect too." She said winking, "Come on." She pulled him, "I'll treat you and Hiro-kun to dinner." She dragged the poor boy away. "Yuki come along if you don't have an excuse!" and they went off first.

Hiro didn't immediately walk with them as he turned to Yuki first,"You know Yuki-san, even after 5 long years I'm amazed at how you can still manage to hurt Shuichi."

"It's amazing how you're still the annoying protective little chum you are." He shot back, taking another cigarette out- not caring that Hiro knew about their short affair.

Hiro smirked, "By the way- for a romance novelist, I'm astonished at how you predict the ending for this story. Because honestly, if you go on faking it, it won't be a happy one." With that, the redhead took his leave to follow Riku and Shuichi.

For sure Yuki will be missing lunch with them, because he has a good excuse.

**XXX**

A few days passed by as the date for the wedding was just around the corner, everyone was busy doing what they should do… well some of them are.

Mika and Tohma were still doing their part preparing the wedding, or rather handling the wedding. Yuki was still getting chased by his editor, yet again ignoring the wedding plans until of course Mika or Riku prods him. He was also avoiding Shuichi at all costs.

The last few days went quite well for men. They steered clear of each other like they were their own plagues. The other did not stay alone at home when the other was at home. They ate dinner with Riku and held a decent conversation.

Almost went too well- like they were programmed to do it. Especially Shuichi who was usually cheerful in front of Riku, automatically shuts down when Yuki was around; Riku noticed this. Yuki was off the hook in Riku's eyes because he was just like that-cold and unfriendly.

"I don't know Shu-chan… there is definitely something you are not telling me and I don't like it." She told him one night when they were walking down the street, just getting away from the stuffy house where Yuki was PMS-ing because of his deadline. Shuichi shifted uncomfortably when she asked him that, and why ask now?

For the last few days Shuichi got to avoid Yuki and he did the same. Even though every time Shuichi looked at him it reminded him of what they had done earlier on the days Riku wasn't around. And if he recalled in a bittersweet manner they had been friendly at least twice during that period she was gone. Now they were pure strangers, or acted like they were.

"What? Why do you say that Riku?" he asked her stretching his hands to the front, "There is definitely nothing wrong with me."

Riku started at him as they passed a street, "You lie."

"No I'm not." Eh, what was happening? Shuichi thought.

"I mean it has to be something and you haven't told me about Yumi! I've let you off far too long Shu-chan. Plus all those stiff actions back at home. It isn't like you. You seldom smile now, you don't talk at the dinner table. Is it work? Is it Yuki?" Riku was being persistent. She wants to know what was wrong with him.

"Yuki?" Shuichi blinked a couple of times at his cousin, why did she even make a deduction that it was Yuki? Even if it was all Yuki? She didn't need to know all that. Hell no.

"Riku, why are you being so persistent? I am fine, it has nothing to do with anyone at all." he assured, giving her a bright smile. He lied and hid things from Riku too much, honestly he felt awful but it's better this way than telling her the dead truth. The story he had with Yuki is the past, a past that he won't let go but wont rouse either.

"It's just that you've been so different lately, I know even in America you were less cheery but you were okay so far and then now it's like you're back to square one. I'm just worried. Plus if there is something that you're telling me, I'll be deeply hurt, you know that right? I might not even forgive you." She said gravely.

Was that Shuichi's imagination or did Riku's usually jolly face turned somber? Her voice didn't hold any warmth either.

"Riku-," Shuichi started.

"Shuichi," she stopped walking, and now they were standing in an awfully familiar park… "I just hope you are okay and not lying to me. Because the last thing I would want is my favorite cousin to hide things from me and even lie because something I don't know is happening."

The air in around Shuichi suddenly dropped 10 degrees, even his heart probably stopped beating.

"Shu-chan, I want to know what's bothering you. That's why." She said kindly touching his cheek. "You're like my brother, I want to know what is happening with you. Is that okay? Because I know something is bothering you."

Riku…

She was so good to him, caring for him so much and all he could give her was lies and secrets? No, he just wanted her happiness. From the start he knew to sacrifice his own happiness for hers. Besides from the beginning Shuichi knew his relationship with Yuki could never work out. Yuki clearly proved that 5 years ago when he broke Shuichi down.

He knew he knew Riku and Yuki were meant to be together. As simple as that.

Shuichi laughed and draped an arm around her shoulder to pull her into a hug, "Silly little girl, you're going to get married soon. You don't have to concern yourself too much on me!" he placed a finger on her lips before she could open her mouth to say something. "But if it makes you feel better you can continue to worry about me, just not so much. I'm okay." He assured her again, "If there is something wrong, I would tell you right?" _But not this…_

"Come now Riku-chan, smile smile." He said poking her mouth. "We don't need a frown on your wedding day do we?"

Riku wanted to protest but she held back and forced out a smile, "Okay Shu-chan. I believe you." _But I don't trust you._

She smiled and nodded as she placed her hand around his waist and they continued walking.

_But I don't trust you._

**XXX**

A/n: Forgive me readers for I have sinned- I think it has been 5 months since my last update and I feel so BAD. Thank you so much to those who still read and reviewed and prodded me to update and continue. Oh gosh,this is horrible! So what I did was I wrote longer than usual, I think this is long and I sped up the process of the story-Kinda, Sorry if it's kinda rushed but I want to get it done byt the 20th chapter if that's possible hahaha. It's very near to the wedding and there will be lots of weird shit coming up,hahaha. So yes, continue reading and reviewing! Thank you again for the reviews! I love them reviews and you readers! It's nearly the end of the story xD. And it's been one year xD. I'll try to get the next chapter up! I promise it won't take 5 months! Hahaha. Thank you to my beta Jasline!


	18. In the moonlight

A/n: I soo do not own gravitation, even though I wish they did. It such an awesome story :). This is not my first fic, but my first gravi fic. Nee XD. By the way I very so much adore Gravitation .whee! Hope this story works out.

Hehe, Happy New years people D gonna be nearly years this fic has been going on xD Thank you for those who read since chap 1!!! 3 3 3

**XXX**

There happened to be a full moon that night.

"What did I do to deserve this?" Shuichi muttered to himself as he leaned forward against the waterfront railing looking onwards at the still water illuminated by the moonlight. After he walked Riku back and she went into Yuki's room, he decided to walk down the same path he took with Riku an hour before; he had to think everything through.

Sure, he loves Riku and wants her to be happy, but he finally accepted his feelings for Yuki, he knew for sure he wouldn't love anyone else but that mean asshole… and he hated himself for that. He hated himself for betraying his cousin, hated himself for initiating the affair, and hated himself for lying to himself.

"Even now I'm waiting; I stop here alone.…" he hummed a familiar tune to himself, his eyes transfixed onto the big round full moon. Yeah, it was going to crash down again when he walks Riku down the aisle to his first and last love. Shuichi knew he shouldn't have come, he should've known this when he opened the wedding invitation.

"From where do you now see the moon we saw together on that day?" still looking up at the moon.

"...You're killing the fishes." The voice that sent shudders through Shuichi's body echoed through the silent waves.

Shuichi turned abruptly to see Yuki in his long jacket, staring at him with his golden eyes a smoke in his mouth.

"Wha…. What are you doing here?" Shuichi asked, surprised Yuki was out there with him. "Where's Riku?" he looked behind Yuki and saw no one.

"She's asleep." He said as he threw down the cigarette on the ground, stepping on it, butting it out. "What? I don't have any right to walk out? It's a free country isn't it?" he asked contemptuously.

"I know that, you don't have to be so…"he sighed, he couldn't fight with Yuki now, and he was tired of everything. His gaze moved onto the still water which reflected the moon's shape.

"Cat got your tongue? Didn't know you could cut off and be quiet, America did you good didn't it?" he smirked.

"What do you want from me?" Shuichi argued, "Sex? Well we had that. We cheated on Riku, the girl we both love! What more do you want to do? You're ruthless Yuki! You've hurt me before, I wont let you do it to Riku…" he didn't realize his eyes were brimming with tears, "I won't be a part of this charade to hurt Riku…" he sobbed, "But I am…" he whispered. "I am…" he bit his lower lip, "What else Yuki? Want to hurt me? Well you cant beat what you did to me 5 years ago, that's for sure."

Whoa, that seriously got to Yuki, but the cold man continued staring at Shuichi like nothing he said was affecting him. His golden eyes were expressionless.

He suddenly grabbed Yuki's jacket, "Don't you have any feeling?! Are you human? Don't you feel _anything_ at all when you're cheating on your future wife?" he nearly screamed.

"Didn't you feel anything when I walked out that door?" his voice dropped down to but a whisper. Now they both knew this wasn't about Riku anymore.

"I can't be crushed like this anymore, Yuki, no matter how many times I tell you I love you, it just seems to bounce back off you. I had enough of it years ago… It hurt too much to be with you." He choked on his words as he clutched Yuki's jacket. "You hurt me so bad… I won't let you do the same to Riku..." he whispered, "Even if I still love you so much, I wont let you…" his breath hitched.

Yuki closed his eyes as the former singer clung onto him and sobbed on his jacket. Just like old times… Shuichi would cling onto him, cry like a baby and beg him to take him back. Now if only he did that the last time and didn't walk out for 5 years, Yuki could've brushed it aside like any other argument they had. But he had to admit whatever he said the last time could've pierced anyone's heart.

He slowly opened his eyes; his heart was crunching up in him. No one but Shuichi could do this to him, and he still had that effect on him. How come?

How come?

Why?

Those questions came back to ponder upon the man.

He lowered his head to look down at the one who clung onto him. He saw Shuichi's glistening purple eyes looking back up at him; tears were falling down his porcelain skin.

The answer hit him like a brick. It was so obvious to everyone except them and Riku probably.

He still loved him. Yuki had always loved him, never stopped, buried probably, but he never stopped thinking about the one person who managed to fill his void heart with warmth and love. Yuki cringed, no matter how corny that sounded in his head, it was true, he never held anyone, not even Riku this way or thought about 'love' this way.

Miserable, was what he felt when Shuichi left, he never wanted to talk about it because he didn't want to realize his mistake and feelings.

He continued looking at those purple orbs, not sure of what to do.

Shuichi noticed Yuki wasn't pulling away or saying anything, so he pulled a tight smile, "Without saying a word, time flows on." He sang softly.

Yuki knew this song. He was no fool. This song was meant for him and him only, even if he did say this song was not of standard he had to admit it was one of the best Shuichi wrote. But maybe that was just because it was intended for him.

In secret, he loved this song… because it was lovely, it held a lot of meaning…especially now.

Shu kept his hands on Yuki's jacket, and then slowly he lowered his head onto Yuki's chest, slowly, as if asking for permission if he could do so. The blonde didn't make a move; Shuichi took that as a yes and placed his head on his chest.

"Only the moon looks at my deserted heart even now..." he continued in his own sad voice. Shuichi decided this was the last time he'd hold Yuki and Yuki would hold him, in this… affectionate way.

They had sex a few days before-yes, kissed each other-yes, ignored each other-yes… but held each other in this warm way… not once this entire time. This brought more meaning that their hot and heavy sex affair this whole time.

Yuki probably didn't realize it, but he was swaying with Shuichi as the wind blew their way, chilling them so they could bask in their warmth together this way, cherish every last moment they had right now.

_I love you Shuichi…. I've always loved you._

But it burned Yuki to say that. He'd rather die than say those words that he really meant. Now he really felt like a character in his stupid romance novels. The sappy ones, the ones he hated to write but had the knack to write.

What could he do now? He just walked out after Riku went to sleep beside him. He needed to clear his head because of the stupid genki kid that got him confused.

He just let his feet bring him to wherever it wanted to go while he took a smoke; it miraculously brought him to where he first met Shuichi, the park, at the waterfront. Then, well whaddaya know? Shuichi was there. If there were such things as fate, Yuki would've made a law for it to be banned.

"From where do you now see the moon we saw together on that day?" Shuichi ended slowly as his voice cracked.

"…Could you…shut up?" Yuki finally said. Not that he was irritated with the song, he just needed to think and Shuichi wasn't helping singing that song. Especially _that song._

Shuichi chuckled sadly, "I'm done…and I skipped a lot of lines actually…" he said lifting his head up to look at the man he loved.

"…I don't care, thank gawd you skipped helluva lot." He muttered and made Shuichi laugh lightly.

Yeah, Shu thought, this was the familiar Yuki he knew.

"What're we doing Yuki?" he asked. "We shouldn't be in this position-,"

"Or even a mile radius doing this." Yuki cut in.

Shu smiled tightly and nodded, "Yeah…But we're still doing it."

Yeah, we are, Yuki thought.

"You're the one who stupidly clung onto me." He blamed Shuichi.

"You just appeared out of no where, I just thought it was a dream. I wish it was a dream, that way, I know it'd end up happy." He said perkily. Then, he shook his head, "But no right? Its reality, where I still love you, but you don't love me and marrying my cousin… This is called cheating Yuki… you're not supposed to hold someone else when you're getting married. This is not sane. I'm not sane." Shuichi kept on talking, unsure of what he was saying. Yet it made some slight sense to Yuki.

"Shut up." Yuki bent down and kissed him on the lips. It wasn't a hard kiss that he usually gives him, it was a soft searing kiss which had a pint of regret in it.

Shuichi felt this when their lips touched, it was like Yuki was trying to communicate with him without saying anything.

Did he regret something? No… it couldn't be, Shuichi thought, but then again he couldn't think properly with Yuki's lips lapping over his so softly.

Screw all this for a while, Shu thought as he wrapped his arms around Yuki's neck, kissing him back.

This happened so many times when Riku was gone… but to do it when Riku was back.

It was disgraceful, disrespectful, vile, disloyal, hurtful…

Not like it mattered right now. They were both confused and wrapped up in the moment. But Shuichi knew, this wouldn't stop their wedding. Hell no, Shu wont let it, besides Yuki would probably forget all of this in the morning.

But the kiss… the kiss they're sharing right now was so…true.

They were under the moonlight… _their_ moonlight. It might be their last meeting like this even. No matter how in love Shuichi was in love with Yuki, he would not stop the wedding. He will give Riku her happiness with Yuki.

_What is it I'm waiting for, in this room without you –_

"No…."came a voice a few feet away from them. "No…" ithe person repeated again.

Just like electricity, the most high voltage one- did Shuichi and Yuki jerk back from each other. Shu whipped his head to see someone he'd kill to not see there and then.

"Riku!" his voice was full of nothing but shock. His head was racking through, he wished she didn't see what just happened, but that was just wishful thinking…

Because she was there. How long did she stand there did not matter.

She walked over to Shuichi and swung her hand giving him one tight slap across his left cheek.

**XXX**

**a/n:.. I am such a SAP, Shuichi singing that sappy romantic song 'in the moonlight?' yes what he was singing was that song … Romanticism and Christmas got the best of me. But hey, a merry Christmas and happy new year…. I updated! It's short yeah, SORRY- but it's going to end, I want to make it end by chap 20 xD… But I've gotta see. D climaxxx. PLUS xD its like my last update for the year!!! Thanks to my beta's Keitro(did some chaps) and Jas D (now)Happy New year readers!! D Make me happy with wishes and reviews D 3 Thanks to those who have been following this damned story since 2005!!! xD OMF Huggles joo people ME WUVS YOU PEOPLE.**


	19. Who knew?

A/n: I soo do not own gravitation, even though I wish they did. It such an awesome story :). This is not my first fic, but my first gravi fic. Nee XD. By the way I very so much adore Gravitation .whee! Hope this story works out.

I am SOOO sorry for my updates! I update like 10 years once or something, I am so truly sorry, but thank you everyone who kept on reading and waited. Thank you soo much!! Well the story is coming to an end, haha, so I think that's good news???

I've also replaced my authors note Chapter 19 to the story Chapter 19, so many might not have this in their alert box.

Italicized sentences: Thoughts and flashbacks.

**XXX**

"Shuichi, being the manager, it's normal for you to be where we are and what on earth can we say about your absence?! Plus the album is 3 days away from being released! Even if you don't want to go to the wedding, which is the day after the release of our album, that's total fine with me! But this is MY recording label on the line, and Tohma's too." Seiji had left Shuichi 138 messages in the last 2 days, trying to get him to come back to Japan. This one was the longest, Shuichi thought, and Seiji sounded really mad.

He was so doomed when his band and Seiji comes back. However, he knew he don't have to be there, Seiji just wanted him to support his band when the album release. Also adding the band manager was the great Shuichi Shindou from Bad Luck would obviously increase Shining Glow's reputation. All they needed to do was publish his name, so he don't need to be there physically.

Besides, he refused to go back to Japan. After what happened with Riku... It just brings back the horrible memory of his cousin slapping him. He cringed just by thinking about it. He loved Riku so much, having her to slap him was the worst blow he could have that in his entire life, next to his ex-lover marrying his cousin, was the next big blow probably.

He sighed as Seiji's message went on and on. He was never going to hear the end of this, that's for sure. He walked over to his couch and slumped down, covering his eyes with his arm.

It's been two days since he left Japan, and all he could see in his mind is Riku's surprise and hurt look clearly even with eye closed….

_2 Days ago…_

_The slap stung, how much it hurt is comparable to Riku's eyes- the betrayal is clouded with sadness…_

"_I don't believe this… After what I heard… it's just…." she said after the long silence, the echo of the slap she just gave her beloved cousin was still evident in the cold breeze. "I don't believe this…"she repeated._

_She did not even turn to look at Yuki, as her gaze was fixed completely on Shuichi, who couldn't read what her look meant._

_He didn't even want to decipher what her looks or thoughts meant, all he wanted to do was explain to her the situation. But explain what? Explain how he used to be her fiancés ex-lover, how Yuki hurt him, how he came back and they had sex twice and kissed about a few times?_

_How he, Shindou Shuichi still loved him, despite the five year separation gap?_

_He'd rather jump off the railing into the cold water and drown than tell her that._

"_Riku… Riku, please listen to me." He started, but Riku shook her head._

"_Don't even come near me, Shuichi! I don't believe this." She dared not look at Yuki; her attention was mostly focused on Shuichi. _

_She couldn't look at Yuki, the man she supposedly loves, kissed her cousin… she didn't want to blame him, nor did she want to blame him for cheating before the wedding._

_She couldn't, as she didn't have the heart to do it._

"_Riku, if you would just listen to me…" Shuichi tried again, he was frustrated that Yuki didn't even try to say anything! He just stood there, watching the situation, not doing ANYTHING! He had some things to explain as well! "Yuki and I were just talking about stuff, and-," bloody hell, what could he say? All he could do was come up with some crappy story on the spot._

"_Whatever Shuichi, I don't even want to comprehend the situation. Just, just left me alone, I can't see both of you until I clear my head of this situation… I just can't… I can't…" with that Riku stepped back, feeling dizzy, but all she knew was that she wanted to get away from Shuichi and Yuki as soon as possible._

"_RIKU!" Shuichi screamed when his cousin trailed off, swaying a little before hitting the cold hard pavement._

_It was then, Yuki finally moved, with quick speed, he scooped his fiancé into his arms. _

"_YUKI! What's wrong with her?!" he asked, panicky._

"_Stupid girl, she fainted." He muttered, holding his fiancée in his arms._

"_The hospital! Get her to the hospital!" Shuichi was hopelessly worried at this point. _

"_I know that, you idiot." He started to walk, Shuichi trailing behind. _

_**XoX**_

_It was a little after 2 in the morning; the doctor came out telling them it was nothing too serious. Riku just overstressed herself over petty things, probably like work, the wedding…_

_Her dreadful cousin… Shuichi thought as the doctor kept on talking. Yuki was listening intently, like how a worried husband should be…_

_What am I doing… I'm just here to wreck the perfect sphere they both had built…_

"_Go home Shuichi… I might not know what had actual happening, but I'm guessing you're the cause of it. You've caused enough trouble for one day." As usual, Mika's sharp tongue won the day._

_What she said was short, but it stabbed Shuichi to the heart._

"_Mika-san…" Tohma looked at his wife, who just shrugged and went into Riku's room._

"_It's alright, I'll go…" Shuichi said, his eyes downcast, "Just… just tell me if she's alright later on, and… and tell her I'm sorry." He emphasized the sorry, a heavy burden on that particular word._

_Tohma sighed, "I don't know what happened, Shindou-kun, but whatever happened must've been something bad. Well, alright I'll tell her. Anything else?"_

_Shuichi shook his head, before he turned around and started walking away, each step he took was a heavy one… He didn't want to think about what just happened, he just wanted to get out of Japan, back to America, where he will stay and belong…_

"_Oh…Seguchi-san." He turned around, "Tell both of them, congratulations on their wedding day."_

_Tohma frowned, "What do you mean? Aren't you coming? You're the best man."_

_Shuichi smiled sadly and shook his head, "Nah… get Tatsuha or someone to fill in for me, I'm not worthy to be their best man. Alright, Seguchi-san, thank you." He turned and walked away._

_Tohma sighed again, figuring that the situation at hand was more complicated than he imagined it to be. However, Tohma Seguchi was a smart man, someway; somehow he'd find out what happened. He told Riku what Shuichi said, but she never acknowledged, or rather tried to ignore what Shuichi said…_

_In fact, she acted like the situation at the water front did not happen. Yuki was a pro at acting oblivious to a situation, so they both didn't tell Mika and Tohma what happened._

_The next day when Riku was discharged, and Yuki brought her home, they realized Shuichi's stuff was missing. In the middle of the living room, on the table, there was a box of rings the best was supposed to carry._

_The contents of the letter, was like so:_

_**Dearest Riku and Yuki,**_

_**Hi there, I'm really sorry. I really am. I don't know how to make things right, maybe I can't that's why I am leaving the both of you. Here are the rings, get someone else both of you trusted and who hasn't created any problems.**_

_**I really am sorry… **_

_**So sorry…**_

_**Have a happy wedding though! It's going to be awesome! I'm sure of it!**_

_**Much love,**_

_**Shuichi.**_

_The both of them read it, and put it aside, still acting like nothing had happened. Riku took the rings and placed it in her room. She and Yuki did not talk much, but they did not act that much differently than before…_

_The animosity and heaviness was still in the air, but they both got by it. After dinner, Yuki excused himself and Riku retired in her room early._

_It was that night that Riku cried in her room and Yuki didn't come back._

**XoX**

Shuichi looked up, his eyes were red. He hated flashbacks as they made his heart hurts more. He sighed as he stared at the ceiling of his apartment. It was a good thing he left Japan. He couldn't cause anymore problems for them, also if anything bad happened, they couldn't blame him as he was not there.

He blinked, not that he wanted anything to go wrong. He was just tired of being the one answering to everyone's problem. He was also tired of hurting people whom he loved dearly and hurt by them too. All he needed to do was just stay a good gazillion mile distance away from them. In another two days, they both of them will get married; he wished and prayed that everything go well.

After two days of being back in America, only Hiro, Tohma, which is super rare, and Seiji called him. No calls from Riku and definitely nothing from Yuki. He guessed Riku didn't want to see him till after the wedding. He prayed she forgave him though.

Riku might forgive him maybe five to ten years from now… but…

No matter what, he'll always have that heavy load of guilt on his chest. But what hurt the most wasn't Riku's decision to forgive him or not… it was Yuki.

_I'm sorry Riku… but I love Yuki. Not more than you, just different than you. But it hurts, it still hurts…_

It was the deep sea of love he still had for Yuki, the one that he thought disappeared in the span of five years he was away from him.

But… he could try again… Another five more years… or maybe another decade… It wouldn't hurt; he could re-do the life cycle of 'forgetting' again and again. He had nothing to lose.

Whatever he felt for Yuki, should vaporize as time goes by, he could handle it… Another decade was nothing… It was nothing. Heartbreak is nothing…

He kept on repeating…

Love is nothing…

**XXX**

"Eh? Me? Where's Shuichi? He's the best man!" Tatsuha was surprised his brother came over to tell him that.

"Shut up, either be the best man or not at all." Yuki said, lighting up another cigarette.

Tatsuha held the ring up, "Nice, this is real!" then he put it down and looked at his brother, "Did something happen again? Bro, listen, you and your emo ways are driving people insane." He shook his head.

Yuki ignored him, and puffed out smoke into his brother's face.

"Shuichi left didn't him?" Tatsuha figured after staring at his brother. "Again… Bro, what the hell are you doing? Is it a habit of yours?" he sat back and continued watching his brother who continued to smoke. "You're wallowing in self depression."

"What the hell are you? A wannabe psychiatrist? Go off and find your psychotic boyfriend and psycho him- not me." Yuki said, keeping his cool.

Tatsuha laughed, "I'll psycho him later, don't worry about that. What you should worry about is if you're doing the right thing." He shrugged, "I'm no expert, but if you build your relationships on secrets, lies and no love it wouldn't work out. Right now, your relationship with Riku has all of the above. Hell, I knew you were screwing your old buddy when he was here. It was no secret. You were sooo pining for him Bro. You never stopped."

Yuki felt his blood boil, what the hell was his brother talking about? It was all bullshit.

"You sound like one of those prissy gossip girls that make no sense. And a wannabe crappy psychiatrist." Was all what Yuki could say.

"Well, whatever Bro. But you still love Shuichi. IN all these 5 years you were never that responsive. Only after the little pink turned brunette fur ball came back, did you start being fun again." He grinned, "Here." He pushed back the rings to Yuki. "I won't need this. Nor will you, if you know what to do." He stood up and waved.

"Bloody idiot." Yuki muttered, lighting another cig. What did his stupid younger brother know except screwing the front man of Nittle Grasper?

He inhaled in his cigarette, but that didn't stop his heart from feeling that same burn he felt 5 years ago…

He sat there until his cigarette finished, then crushed it into the ash tray, he took the rings and left.

The last person he had in his mind and dreaded to ask was up next for the post of Yuki Eiri's best man.

"Tohma…" Yuki walked into Tohma's office, dreading to ask him this.

"Eiri! Come in, come in, what is it?" Tohma asked, liking this visit from Yuki… it wasn't often that the blond came to visit him especially for help.

Yuki thought to get this over with; he hated beating around the bush. "Shuichi left, Tatsuha is a fucking brat, both didn't become my best man, so I'm asking you to be mine now. If you reject me, I will kill you."

There, as forward as possible.

Tohma blinked. Yuki stared.

"Oh wow! Eiri, I thought you'd never ask! Of course! I'm happy to assist you in this!" he smiled widely.

"Good. Then see you on my wedding day." He said simply before leaving.

Tohma shook his head when Eiri left, "God… Eiri… You think it's so simple for me to just help you." He chuckled.

**XXX**

It was finally the day, the day of the famous Yuki Eiri and Hamasaki Riku's wedding. The park was piled with people, tabloids and such were carefully handled by men Tohma hired. The flowers were at their place and beautifully colored the place. White drapes and decorations made the place more lively and happy than usual. Guests wore their best frocks to the wedding. It was perfect! Everything was in place.

Just that the original best man wasn't.

Yuki was in his dressing room, a white tent, brushing off the little lint on his black suit. He stared at himself in the mirror… he didn't know what to think or do anymore; he just wanted this over with.

He didn't want to lead a complicated life anymore. After marrying Riku, it'll all fall into place. Just like the wedding preparations.

… His eyes didn't show a happy man getting married though… Even he himself noticed that.

"You know, this is not right." He turned to see his annoying wannabe psychiatrist brother at the opening. "But whatever, what do I know? I'm not the one getting married. Come on, I'm here to call you, they're ready."

Yuki nodded and walked out with Tatsuha.

"You know, if Ryuichi was here, he would say sparkle Yuki-san. Cause you need the sparkling, Bro, perk up a little." He told his older brother. "You're the one who went along with it, the least you can do is look happy."

Yuki ignored him again, but that didn't mean he didn't hear every word that rang into his head. He would never admit how true his brother was.

Denial was bliss.

**XXX**

"The dress is beautiful Riku!" Mika said brushing the beautiful white gown. "You look beautiful." She told her to-be-sister in law. In less than an hour, Riku was going to marry Eiri.

"Really Mika?" Riku asked, looking at herself in the mirror, she didn't look happy.

"Of course. Eiri has a beautiful bride." She said.

Riku turned to look at Mika, "He has a beautiful bride, but do you think he wants this?"

Mika's eyes went huge, "Relax Riku. It's just wedding jitters; I had them before I married Tohma." She held Riku's hand, "I kept asking myself was this what he wants? Is it normal?" she stopped right there… hers and Tohma's relationship was a little complicated as well. "But I still went with it, and now we're quite happy." One way or another, they were kind of happy. "Don't worry both of you will be perfect."

Riku smiled and nodded nervously, "Wedding jitters… I know it's normal but you can't escape it." Then her face fell, "I wish Shuichi was here to help me."

Damn that Shindou, Mika thought, "It'll be fine, take a lot of pictures, I arranged for a professional video man to capture live footage of this, you can give it to him… right? He won't miss a thing."

Riku nodded again, "I hope so…Thank you, Mika." She kissed Mika's cheek.

"Anytime sweetheart, come on now, they've already started." Mika pulled Riku up and they both walked to the entrance.

**XXX**

The song played, the congregation rose when the bride walked out. The beautiful brides maid and flower girls lighted the way to the man she loved.

She was happy when she saw Yuki standing there, giving her a smile. Something she wanted to see and assure her of her answer to him.

The song stopped playing exactly when she faced Yuki. She held his hand and he held hers.

She looked into his golden eyes. They were so beautiful, she loved looking into them.

The ceremony started, and the pastor first of all asked if anyone objected to the wedding.

Even though some people were tempted to raise up their hands like Tatsuha, Yumi, Seiji, Hiro, Shining Glow and a few more… they didn't because it would cause another ruckus, which none of they need.

With no objections, the pastor went on and asked Yuki first.

"Do you Uesugi Eiri …" Yuki cringed to the hearing the Uesugi in the sentence, "Take Hamasaki Riku to be you lawfully wedded wife?"

Silence. Everyone, especially those who knew him from before waited for the answer. What would it be?

Yumi held hands with Seiji, hoping this would turn out the fairy tale way. Where Yuki might say 'No' and rush to find Shuichi. Even Hiro who disliked Yuki and liked Riku silently wished this would turn out differently… Ayaka was biting her lower lip, worried about something. Tatsuha hoped his brother would do the right thing, who knows?

Who knew Yuki would have said the word "Yes" so easily, without hesitation.

Who knew he could smile so happily, erasing all the thoughts he had about Shuichi these past few weeks.

Who knew he could forget so easily.

Who knew?

Riku smiled so happily when Yuki said 'Yes' without hesitation. Her heart fluttered and she gripped his hand tightly. It would work out, definitely.

"Do you Hamasaki Riku; take Eiri Uesugi to be your lawfully wedded husband?"

There was silence; this is the day Riku had been waiting for, her handsome to be husband standing in front of her. He said 'yes.' So, without hesitation, obviously the beautiful bride to be would say- :

"No."

Who knew?

**XXX**

**A/n:**

GASP! giggles Damn I don't know, please tell me that wasn't cliché, lie to me. Haha, tell me what you think in the review. Yes, I still don't like my chapters, but hey, I like them enough to post them. Tee hee.

As for one particular criticizer, I really don't care, I only continue this story for fans of this story, if it wasn't for people constantly reading and giving comments I would not have continued it- it really doesn't matter if you don't or do read it. But thank you for saying this fic idea is great. I appreciated your comment. Heee. she a spoiler… hunt her down to hammer her 

As for the rest, you know I luv all of you LOVELY READERS AND REVIEWERS, thanks for being patient with my HORRIBLE manners of updating, I used to updated every other day… that was about two years ago, ha ha, but this story is coming to an end, thank goodness! Its like a soap drama that wont seem to stop, bold and beautiful ring a bell? He he, but thank you for sticking on, and giving me encouraging comments to let me go on with this fic! Yay!! I adore you people, seriously! Thank you for reading and reviewing!!! I think there would be one more chapter, if it doesn't fit, then 2 more chapters, OMG! Also thanks to my lovely Beta, Jas. have to rush her out of her work!! haha

Probably second last chapter: What's Riku got up her sleeve? Does she or does she not hate Yuki enough to say No in her own anticipated wedding? Would Shuichi be alright all alone in the States? Or will he be rushed to the hospital like the first time he left Japan, a probable De ja vu? What the heck are they going to do in this situation?

I sound like those narrators at the end of a superhero tv series or something… Oh, news though, Chapter 20 won't be 5-10 months wait, it's going to be sooner than you think, hehe! But not that soon. Haha. Also Maki Murakami has continued Gravitation Ex. Gravitation EX book 1 has been released, now Gravitation EX book 2 is in the making- I don't think gravitation will ever end, Isn't that amazing?!


	20. Lucky Bastard

A/N: Everyone. Remember when I said the next chapter wouldn't take long… no, I did not lie. MY hard drive died on me, so my entire story was lost in that horrible massacre… therefore, I had to re-write this story. I am beyond upset, because usually the first try is the best, and I finished the story… I didn't think the second one was up to par to the first. Well, I don't know, I need everyone's opinion on this chapter. I was so devastated I thought I wouldn't want to continue this story, but since the reviews still came in, haha and I like the fans, I did so.

Also did say I wanted it only to be 20 chapters, but hehe hehe, I had no heart to end it at ch 20 xD, so im moving ahead to finally end at ch 21. I think…. Hehehe. But I'm still upset, I HATE HD crashes I HATE. People, comfort me ;;

Warning: Lots of shit talking in this one. xD and cliché-ness, ugh –shame-.

**XXX**

"What?" Eiri looked at Riku who stared back at him, not a trace of the vibrant bride she was supposed to be.

"Do you love me?" She suddenly asked him.

"What" Riku, not now-,"

"Do you love me?" She repeated again, this time more firmly. Eiri didn't answer right away as he continued staring at her like she was out of her mind. This wasn't called cold feet anymore, it was close to close crazy, in his case. The priest who was before them was even more confused than Eiri and the congregation who were all quiet. He didn't want to say anything in case he'd get yelled at… that usually happened when he conducted a wedding, he sighed.

Eiri opened his mouth to say something, however closed it, continued staring at her, but she didn't back down a single bit.

"Of course I love you." He finally answered. "Now stop playing games, and get married already." He turned to the priest and signalled for him to continue.

"Ah, oh, ok, so, Riku, will you take Eiri Uesugi to be your lawfully wedded husband?" he repeated once more, hopefully getting a better response now.

"I already said. No." she answered him.

"Well not a better response, but not an unusual one either." The priest said shrugging.

"Riku stop this shi-," the pastor coughed lightly, so Eiri was forced to stop midway, he breathed in calmly before continuing, "… nonsense. You're not making any sense, and everyone is watching." True enough, the congregation were in silence, very engrossed in the whole screen playing out.

She shook her head, "No. I'm more concerned about our future especially my future than the people in this place."

"We can talk about it later." He told her, but it just led her to fume at him.

"You don't understand do you? No, I guess you don't, caused you don't have a heart to begin with." She turned and walked out of the tent, leaving the groom and priest at the alter without looking back.

"What the-, Riku!" Eiri quickly ran after her. Once they were out of sight, the entire room erupted with noises, everyone and their brother were talking about the incident that just happened.

Mika was holding her breath the entire time, and finally released it when the couple left. She furiously turned to her husband, "What the hell just happened?!" It was obvious Mika Seguchi was freaking pissed off of what happen earlier. Her husband further annoyed her by giving her his famous 'smile'.

"I truly have no idea what actually happen, darling." He replied to her. Mika's vein popped, "Somehow I knew that! I wanted you to give me a legitimate answer!" Tohma continued smiling, he was used to his wife's temper, it didn't scare him, but he didn't want to further anger her.

"How about an answer that pleases you?"

"… I want an answer that explains this mess!!!"

"… Ok." He turned to walk away when Mika confusingly grabbed him.

"Where do you think you are going?!"

"Where do you think then? Of course to get an answer to explain this mess, dear?" he continued smiling, Mika should get used to that smile by now, but it just got onto her nerves! She was about to say something when Tohma pointed behind her, "You better say something to the people, dear. This is definitely going to reach the press." He sighed, "I've got to handle that later."

Mika turned around to see everyone demanding what's happening and what was going to happen. She put on her best hostess smile, "Excuse me, everyone. Please calm down, I'm sure everything will right back on track. Do stay in your seats."

"Oh, and you better ask them to stay for the food darling. There won't be any wedding after this."

"WHAT?!" But Tohma was already missing from her side. "UGH that scam!"

**XXX**

"RIKU!... RIKU!" Eiri finally caught up with her, grabbing her to face him, "What the HELL do you thinking you are doing?" Eiri was bewildered with Riku's charade back at the alter, he sensed something was wrong.

Well duh. She did blow up at him.

"No! What the hell are YOU," she jabbed his shoulder, "TRYING" she

jabbed again. " TO FUCKING DO?!" and three jabs to that.

'Ouch!" Eiri gripped his shoulder, "That hurt! Whats your problem!"

" You were going to marry me!"

"…That's the purpose of this fucking day isn't it?" Eiri said calmly, but his insides were boiling, what was this woman's problem?! No wonder he settled for men sometimes, they were less naggy!

"ARGH YOU FUCKING IDIOT." She fumed horribly. "You were going to marry me without LOVING me."

"No, I think I very much 'loved' you all night long for the last few years didn't I." he smirked, causing Riku to flare up even more, she took off her 5 inch high heels and ready to hit Eiri when-,

"WHOA Slow down there Riku!"Eiri and Riku both turned to see Tatsuha speak up, together with Hiro and Ayaka… behind them, the whole of Star productions in tow.

"What the hell… this isn't a fucking show everyone, go back and eat the damn cake." An annoyed Eiri said.

"On second thought, hit him right on the nutters, Riku, I'll give you 10 bucks for it." Tatsuha said as he sneered at Eiri. Riku sighed and waved her hand at him.

"Eiri, you don't love me do you? You were going to marry me when you clearly don't love me." She said bitterly, "How can you go through something like that without loving someone? I know you're born cold…" the audience nodded at that, "But going into a miserable relationship like this… you're stepping up to make other people miserable too."

Eiri blinked at Riku, where was this woman trying to get? "And why would I marry you if I didn't love you?"

"… To drown out your pitiful sorrows. Because you cant face the fact that you loved my cousin and always will, and it kills you to know that. That and another hundred reasons why. In short, you don't love me Eiri at all, and you don't want to marry me at the first place. You thought you could hide this from me, till death do us part, but I knew something was wrong when Shuichi came in, everyone started acting weird, and that's when I realized hell, there's something here everyone knows, but I don't! So after travel work, I decided to stay with Ayaka, who told me everything." Ayaka gasped when her name was mentioned, she turned red when everyone focused their attention on her.

"Ayaka?"Hiro stared at his girlfriend for a long while before she decided to nod slowly.

"I had to! She asked to stay over, and I didn't think it was right to leave her being oblivious to the situation. Everyone knew when Shuichi came back, havoc would happen and it did." Ayaka meekly looked up at Eiri. "I'm sorry Eiri-san, I didn't mean to tell, but Riku looked so desperate I had to tell her, it wasn't right to leave her out in the dark either…" But Eiri kept his blank look on. " It's alright if you don't forgive me." She nodded, "But I'm sorry I didn't tell you either Hiro…"

Instead of Eiri, the person she was most afraid of was to hurt Hiro, she didn't tell him anything, resulting to a worrisome Hiro. Plus they promised to tell each other everything. Luckily for Ayaka, she was dating Hiro and not Eiri.

"It's alright." He smiled and pulled her to his side. "I understand, I really thought the worst." He laughed, "Guess it was about Shuichi and Yuki again as usual."

"Yes, as usual." Riku glared at Eiri, "You make bad decisions mister, and this by far is the worst."

"So, you lied to everyone."

"Don't try to denunciate me Eiri. You lied to yourself and everybody that you know, I won't get into the details of how much you hurt the people involved, I'm sure you know." She then sighed and she stopped glaring at him. "You… don't love me. I get that. I accepted that, at first I didn't believe it when Ayaka told me the story… But whenever I was around watching the both of you, you're the most responsive then Shuichi. I saw how you reacted to everything Shuichi did, I… can't beat that." Her voice broke a little, and she looked like she was about to cry.

"I… lost to my cousin." She said with a light laugh, "And that was fine, because I love him and you do as well even though you didn't show it. I don't want whatever happened 5 years ago happen again. Shuichi doesn't know it, but he thinks he's not valuable enough to live. I wonder who thought him that." She tilted her head whilst looking at the cold blonde man before her. "I suppose the reason why he left Japan so soon is my fault as well." She sighed then shook her head.

"So, what do you want to do Eiri?"

Everyone was truly enjoying the story that was for sure, and was left praying that Eiri would actually give her a satisfactory answer. They too, thought the situation was screwed up and the least the famous novelist would do is realize his stupidity, no matter how proud he was. Or, at least realize he still had time to get to Shuichi.

That is, of course, if Shuichi was willing to open the door again.

"I want to…smoke."

The praying ceased and silent condemning went Eiri's way.

Riku nodded, "Thought so." Everyone else expected an angry response from Riku, but they didn't get it. In fact, the audience was even more furious at Eiri than Riku was. However, Riku was tired, she didn't know how else to get through to Eiri. Luckily she didn't marry him or she'd be in deep marital shit. "Up to you…." She turned to go.

"It's not easy." She stopped.

"What?"

"It's not easy admitting I still have feelings for someone after a long time… and it's not easy feeling terrible when you've hurt the person everyday." Eiri said with a straight poker face, but his words had true meaning. Riku and everyone were surprised at his response. It was unusual! And spoke from Eiri himself.

"Wow, bro, you noticed! There is hope after all!" Tatsuha said, and in an instant received a deathly glare from Eiri.

Riku smiled, "That was sufficient enough for me to understand your situation. I know this might sound cliché, and gawd knows, I hate being cliché…" she walked up to him and took his hand, "Why don't you go be genuinely happy for once and take the person you love with you? I'm sure he'll love to go along." She gave Eiri the most honest smile ever, "I would know, I'm his cousin."

Eiri blinked at her, gave her a small smile. He was right to pick a girl like her. He's been lucky with so many things… and he never noticed it. Riku was a fantastic lady, it's just a shame he had his heart stolen by a former pink haired maniac.

"Where is he now?" he turned to ask the members of shining glow and the managers.

"He's back in New York." Akeno said, "Probably at his apartment or the studio."

"Yes, I'll give it to you." Seiji nodded before Eiri ask for the address, "Anyone have paper?"

"Ugh, luckily I'm multi purpose. Your producer, your coffee maker and now stationary provider. I'm getting a raise." Yumi said, "Here." She gave him a paper and pen. Seiji grinned and quickly wrote down both addresses.

"Here. I might not like you Eiri-san, but my manager has his buns tied in knots for you for the last 5 years I've known him. Treat him well." Seiji said like he was giving his daughter away.

Eiri couldn't suppress a 'heh' when he said that. However

"I'm going to apologize to everyone for coming to a wedding that wasn't going to happen… excuse me--."

"STOP RIGHT THERE." A shriek pierced through the air. One can almost hear everyone groan. "Where the heck do you think you're going?! Eiri! Where are you going?! People are waiting for a damn wedding!" Mika dared up, her cheeks been red probably from the embarrassment of explaining the situation to the guests.

"Ugh… Mika…" Tatsuha groaned, his sister always had to step up and interfere at the wrong moments.

"Riku, Riku, my brother is a dick, that's a fact, but he can change, maybe after marriage and children… my brother can stop being a dick!" Mika said going to Riku and holding her hand.

"Er actually Mika, dickiness runs through the family, trying to get rid of it, might be fatal." Tatsuha joked, earning himself a glare this time from his sister. Mika was truly scary at times like these.

"Listen Mika, I adore you, it's fabulous to have you as my sister, but it's not going to happen because… because I want Eiri to be happy, and being with me, he wont be. Also, I want Shuichi to be happy-,"

"SHUICHI?!" Mika screamed the world down, "SHUICHI AGAIN?!"

Ayaka went closer to Hiro and so did the rest of them who were watching the scene. Mika was scarier than Tohma, and that was saying something.

"Shuichi…."Mika huffed, "What has he got to do with this?" another huff.

Eiri was smart enough to keep quiet the whole time, he thought this scene was just a waste of his precious time.

"Mika, darling." Tohma stepped up and touched his wife's shoulder softly as if testing if she might combust into a huge man eating dragon, "I'm sure they know what they're doing, no matter how stupid and reckless and … stupid it is, I think I hear the guests gossiping and piling out, should we get them before this turns into a big problem with the tabloids?"

Mika whipped around to breathe on Tohma's neck now, "Tohma don't you dare try to bullshit me out of this one."

"Of course not honey, But I think women's weekly is here and you don't want them to interview the guests do you? Especially after the beautiful decorations you've gotten so many compliments on." Mika gasped.

"So we'll just leave them be, and when everything is done, we'll come back and get the details from them, I'm very sure Riku and Eiri will work it out," Sliding his hands around his wives waist, Tohma led her back to the crowd.

"Shit, my brother in law is cool that way." Tatsuha said shaking his head, if it was anyone to manipulate Mika, it was her husband.

Eiri wondered why Tohma was being so nice in this situation; he would have to ask Tohma when he got back. Clutching the paper Seiji gave him, he thought about it, did he, or did he not want to go? This was a new step for him, and he knew he was going to fuck up regardless, so what did he really want to do?

"Eiri…" Riku, the girl who gave her heart and soul to him, only to be broken down by him, gave him a soft sweet smile.

"You're supposed to hate me, you know." Eiri said.

"I know, I am, but it's better than marrying into years of depression and a dead cousin." she said without thinking, causing everyone to gasp at her last words. She sighed, "I' not kidding, if Shuichi can do it once, he can do it twice, especially now that everyone he knows is in Japan, no one is there to take care of him."

Eiri crumpled the paper into his pocket and nodded, "Who has the car?"

"I'll drive you!" Tatsuha said taking out his keys.

"Here your wallet." Riku threw his wallet at Eiri.

"How'd you know I was going to go…?"

"After what I had witness, I knew you still loved my cousin after 5 years." She said smiling.

Eiri looked at her apologetically; he was really sorry and hopes to make it to her somehow. "Thank you…"

"Don't thank me yet. Also I'm gonna kick your ass later on. Now go. I've got a crowd of guests to tend to. Not to mention your sister."

"Riku." She turned around. "I really would've gone on to marry you because you were a right companion…You're an amazing girl."

She smiled, "And I truly did love you." With that, she turned away.

"Man bro, you are one lucky bastard." Tatsuha said shaking his head. A fiancé who's nice enough to let him off the hook, an influential brother in law and an ex boyfriend who still loves him. Eiri gets everything.

"Ah, Eiri-san, here." Yumi gave him her American phone, "I trust you don't have a phone, and don't have Shu's number. I might not like you a single bit, but if you're the one Shuichi hurts himself over every night, and the only way to make him happy is…. You, I'll help. Cause Shuichi is precious to us."

"Yeah, and together with Riku, if you make him unhappy we're all gonna kick your ass." Akeno said.

Eiri looked at all of them, realizing how much Shuichi mean to all of them, and to him. Shuichi was indeed special, so he wasn't going to loose him again.

"You guys… are noisy …" he said bluntly before turning away, "Come on Tatsuha. And you better not use your pansy ass driving with me today."

Everyone there fumed as Hiro smiled and said, "That's his way of saying thank you. Don't worry it got me years to get used to it."

All of them there looked at each other, blinked, then said in unison:

"Bastard."

**XXX**

**A/n: OMG hahahah 7 months I was gone? Was it 7 months? And I promised it wouldn't take long. Shit, guys, I would've givien by may or something if the stupid HD did not crash, it was devastating, I was near to abandoning this, but I was 2 chapters from the ending, and decided, I should finish this. I wanna do this too:**

Published: 09-06-05 , **so people it has been exactly 2 years since this crappy story has been born! LOL. And again I can not thank the reviewers and readers enough, tell me what to do to embrace and thank you guys who's been reading my vivid crappy imagination on these two boys since forever. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. KISS KISS. Sigh. Also since the first chapter till now, I realize I've done a million mistakes in names and spelling and stuff, hahaha it's so funny, but I wont change it cause it shows how much I've done and morphed since then, tee hee. So thank you for those who pointed that out.**

**Also I know this chapter is full of CRUB. So please do share your thoughts, even if I did say I don't need your thoughts on it, hahaha.**

**Also, just wondering, should I make another gravitation story? If so, bout which pairing? After this, I'd be so sad cause this is my first real series that I actually –end- cause there is only one more chapter to go, and maybe some crappy omake, so guys share!!!**

_** maybe do a sequal??? Please Vote and view so that she can put more brainstorming for the last chapter [long long chapters??--Jas**_

**Thank you to my beta's. Lu who loves me, and Jas who pampers me D. As for a sequeal, eh, most likely I won't do it, just give me ideas, if I should ever make another gravitation story, hehe. Thank you darlings.  
**


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